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languagepotato wrote:i'm still not sure how me opening the door for whomever happens to be behind me is a legitimate reason for them to get mad at me because i should have magically read their mind and see that they don't appreciate it and that i should apologise for trying to be polite.
languagepotato wrote:i'm still not sure how me opening the door for whomever happens to be behind me is a legitimate reason for them to get mad at me because i should have magically read their mind and see that they don't appreciate it and should apologise for trying to be polite.
IpseDixit wrote:but you already seem ready to dismiss that as "muh feelings". well, you arw within your rights to feel that way of course, butby being likw that, people will think that you are behaving in a jerk-ish way. you can ignore that, but if it bothers you that people think of you like that, then instead of automatically blaming them for being oversensitive and stupid, try to understand them. you are not doing yourself any favours by thinking that people who don't appreciate how you bwhave are retardwd.
So we shouldn't authomatically blame them for being oversensitive or whatever but they can authomatically blame guys for being sexist...
I'd daresay that this double standard is actually sexist against guys...
I'm sorry that you are a non-sexist man in this era, you will catch some crossfire for it, but at least you didn't have to be a woman in the earlier eons, eh?
IpseDixit wrote:Don't misunderstand me but for that matter I'm afraid you won't achive much if you behave like hysterical nuts with strangers...I'm sorry that you are a non-sexist man in this era, you will catch some crossfire for it, but at least you didn't have to be a woman in the earlier eons, eh?
If we exclude a few civilizations, I think people like me were treated much worse than women, this is definitely true for the last 2000 years at least
IpseDixit wrote:Don't misunderstand me but for that matter I'm afraid you won't achive much if you behave like hysterical nuts with strangers...
meidei wrote:I stressed the point of such actions been repeated daily. I can't stress it enough if you simply can't see the significance.
Ludwig Whitby wrote:How can you even ask them to think about you and your feelings and intentions when you disregard their feelings in such an arrogant manner? How can you ask from them to understand you when you aren't even trying to understand them?
Varislintu wrote:So somehow I feel it should be even easier for you guys to understand that you could blow a fuse if someone, cluelessly, said "I like homosexuals, because they're more caring, like women", or "How about you play the drums, since you obviously have African ancestry so you must be good at it!". They're compliments, aren't they? If you lose your temper and snap at these completely innocent comments, you are utterly hysterical looneys, and are discriminating against straights and whites, too!
IpseDixit wrote:Is that even comparable to opening a door?
Varislintu wrote:So somehow I feel it should be even easier for you guys to understand that you could blow a fuse if someone, cluelessly, said "I like homosexuals, because they're more caring, like women", or "How about you play the drums, since you obviously have African ancestry so you must be good at it!". They're compliments, aren't they? If you lose your temper and snap at these completely innocent comments, you are utterly hysterical looneys, and are discriminating against straights and whites, too!
Varislintu wrote:Does it show tact to go rant about the outbursting person's "hysterics", being "nuts" or "retarded"? I think no: it shows a lack of understanding of the possible oppression-related cultural background that may have caused the outburst.
Yasna wrote:Varislintu wrote:So somehow I feel it should be even easier for you guys to understand that you could blow a fuse if someone, cluelessly, said "I like homosexuals, because they're more caring, like women", or "How about you play the drums, since you obviously have African ancestry so you must be good at it!". They're compliments, aren't they? If you lose your temper and snap at these completely innocent comments, you are utterly hysterical looneys, and are discriminating against straights and whites, too!
Apples and oranges. Those "compliments" are inherently racist/ignorant. Holding the door open for someone could be sexist, but it isn't inherently so.
Varislintu wrote:Johntm, I think you still struggle with understanding the difference between a gesture being objectively sexist and subjectively interpreted as sexist, and also slightly misunderstood what the oppression had to do with this (it was its historical aspect).
johntm wrote:Varislintu wrote:Johntm, I think you still struggle with understanding the difference between a gesture being objectively sexist and subjectively interpreted as sexist, and also slightly misunderstood what the oppression had to do with this (it was its historical aspect).
I understand the difference, what I don't understand is the people who flip out because of their interpretation rather than logically looking at it to see if their interpretation was correct. Yeah, to them, using their (false) interpretation, the outburst is justified. But they should take the time to think about it logically.
it shows a lack of understanding of the possible oppression-related cultural background that may have caused the outburst.
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