Moderator:Forum Administrators
meidei wrote:So yeah, it's not retarded when people don't like unwanted favours, even if it's opening a door*.
* When people always think that they should do favours for you, even the less significant of them is enough to trigger you. Walk in their shoes before you call them 'retarded'.
When we got back in the car we wondered "Was the the most obvious example of patriarchy at work?"
When people always think that they should do favours for you, even the less significant of them is enough to trigger you. Walk in their shoes before you call them 'retarded'.
meidei wrote:When people always think that they should do favours for you, even the less significant of them is enough to trigger you. Walk in their shoes before you call them 'retarded'.
You really need to grasp that concept. Being repeatedly treated differently because of who you are. At some point, you need to express your discontent, even if the action that triggered it appears insignificant to the one doing it to you.
meidei wrote:You really need to grasp that concept. Being repeatedly treated differently because of who you are. At some point, you need to express your discontent, even if the action that triggered it appears insignificant to the one doing it to you.
johntm wrote:meidei wrote:You really need to grasp that concept. Being repeatedly treated differently because of who you are. At some point, you need to express your discontent, even if the action that triggered it appears insignificant to the one doing it to you.
Repeatedly treated different? In your case, yeah. In the one I'm talking about, no. How is it being treated different if we do it for everyone?
Maybe that's why I've never seen anyone complain about it here, but we do it for everyone.
Varislintu wrote:What meidei is trying to say is that you guys could try to have a little bit of empathy/understanding at their outbursts, and understand that your action was probably only the straw that broke the camel's back that day.
IpseDixit wrote:I could understand the irritation only if the guy in question did that in a manifestly flirtatious manner, but I'm positive this is just a small minority.
You really need to grasp that concept. Being repeatedly treated differently because of who you are. At some point, you need to express your discontent, even if the action that triggered it appears insignificant to the one doing it to you.
johntm wrote:Varislintu wrote:What meidei is trying to say is that you guys could try to have a little bit of empathy/understanding at their outbursts, and understand that your action was probably only the straw that broke the camel's back that day.
I can understand having a shitty day and your attitude reflecting that, but snapping at someone for no reason just means you need better self-control.
johntm wrote:I can understand having a shitty day and your attitude reflecting that, but snapping at someone for no reason just means you need better self-control.
Varislintu wrote:But consider this. They are mistaking your polite, gender-neutral gesture for sexism, because that is what it used to be. So after little sexist incident after little sexist incident, day after day, year after year, they happen to cross paths with you, and your gesture, which they interpret differently from you, breaks their temper. Sure, you can think them assholes, but in the end you have no idea of what kind of "polite" crap they have been putting up with until then due to being, in this case, women. You are technically in the right that it's impolite to burst out, but it doesn't really become you to huff and puff about it, considering you will not have to deal with what they deal with.
Varislintu wrote:johntm wrote:I can understand having a shitty day and your attitude reflecting that, but snapping at someone for no reason just means you need better self-control.
But consider this. They are mistaking your polite, gender-neutral gesture for sexism, because that is what it used to be. So after little sexist incident after little sexist incident, day after day, year after year, they happen to cross paths with you, and your gesture, which they interpret differently from you, breaks their temper. Sure, you can think them assholes, but in the end you have no idea of what kind of "polite" crap they have been putting up with until then due to being, in this case, women. You are technically in the right that it's impolite to burst out, but it doesn't really become you to huff and puff about it, considering you will not have to deal with what they deal with.
IpseDixit wrote:Yeah but why not the other way around too? Couldn't they, too, have some empathy to change perspective? To try to understand that maybe, just maybe, not everything is motivated by sexism/patriarachalism/classism?
meidei wrote:your intention doesn't matter.
Great, she needs to analyze the situation and figure out if she's justified in being offended or not.if a person was always treated as a weakling who needs a man to help her, even you doing it automatically without thinking about it comes across as offensive.
you can ignore that, but if it bothers you that people think of you like that, then instead of automatically blaming them for being oversensitive and stupid, try to understand them.
meidei wrote:On that matter, I suggest watching the latest ideachannel videi on trolling. during filming, the youtuber has that epiphany: even a silly trolling incident can bring a person to its limits when their whole life was pure hostile bullying.
your intention doesn't matter. if a person was always treated as a weakling who needs a man to help her, even you doing it automatically without thinking about it comes across as offensive.
but you already seem ready to dismiss that as "muh feelings". well, you arw within your rights to feel that way of course, butby being likw that, people will think that you are behaving in a jerk-ish way. you can ignore that, but if it bothers you that people think of you like that, then instead of automatically blaming them for being oversensitive and stupid, try to understand them. you are not doing yourself any favours by thinking that people who don't appreciate how you bwhave are retardwd.
but you already seem ready to dismiss that as "muh feelings". well, you arw within your rights to feel that way of course, butby being likw that, people will think that you are behaving in a jerk-ish way. you can ignore that, but if it bothers you that people think of you like that, then instead of automatically blaming them for being oversensitive and stupid, try to understand them. you are not doing yourself any favours by thinking that people who don't appreciate how you bwhave are retardwd.
It's unreasonable to have a nervous breakdown over what may not even be a sexist action. And even if they encounter this on a daily basis, how do they know it's all sexist and not just people being nice?meidei wrote:If the person not having to deal with that behaviour on a daily basis doesn't show good will, it's unreasonable to demand that the person who's having a nervous breakdown after being treated like that on a continuous basis does show the good will first.
I'm not apologizing when I did nothing wrong. They're being fucking whiny over nothing.You can apologise to someone first, and when they feel better, they will be able to think about your intentions and apologise in turn.
Yeah, sexism used to be really common, but how do you know holding doors open was always that way? I doubt people just started holding doors open for both sexes recently, I'm sure it was always a thing down here, so would it have been sexist even if they did it for everyone?as fir double standards, I guess the practice used to be more common performed by men towards women. but now that women can have, sometimes, more social capital than some men and other women. as what I described.
Return to “Politics and Religion”
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests