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azhong wrote:(Thank you in advance for your emendations.)
I had evidently got distracted by the inert body revolving above; the next thing I knew, I heard my family name was clearly mentioned and then Voldemort's remaining words, which was helpless to figure out anything specific. On my left I saw my father was cautiously delivering his reply, his hand shaking as he wiped sweat from his upper lip. To his left, meanwhile, I saw my mother, still rigid and impassive, had a stiff nod as her silent echo. Not knowing what to do, I quickly glanced at the table head, averting as from Voldemort's eyes and the huge snake as I could, and then away, terror speeding up my heartbeats.
azhong wrote:( Thank you in advance for any help you are about to provide.)
The moment Voldemort's scolding paused, I heard a soft voice seem to hiss on. It grew louder and louder, making a few among us barely repress a shudder, while I could feel some slight vibration: beneath the table something heavy was sliding across the floor. And then it appeared at the table head, the huge snake, its head emerging first, where lay the unblinking red eyes with vertical slits for pupils, then its body rising up along Voldemort's chair, seemingly endlessly, of which its neck was the thickness of a man's thigh, and it finally resting upon Voldemort's shoulder. Voldemort stroke it absently with his pale, slim fingers, tilting his head on one side, as considering me with a malicious, constant gaze.
azhong wrote:(Thank you in advance for your assistance.)
His skin was yellowish and waxy, his eyes, widening maliciously though, sunken and shadowed. A small man with dark, curved hair, so small that his chair seemed unoccupied at first glance, scrambled from his seat and scurried from the room. His long cloak, however, was ornate, flapping around his ankles as he marched, strutting majestically. A squat man, sitting rigidly, his features blunt and twisted, gave a wheezing giggle which was echoed here and there. The female immediately sitting next to his right spoke something then, her voice hoarse yet constricted with emotion, her face blooding, and her eyes welling with tears of delight.
Linguaphile wrote:His skin was yellowish and waxy, and his eyes widened maliciously although sunken and shadowed.azhong wrote:His skin was yellowish and waxy, his eyes, widening maliciously though, sunken and shadowed.
azhong wrote:Linguaphile wrote:His skin was yellowish and waxy, and his eyes widened maliciously although sunken and shadowed.azhong wrote:His skin was yellowish and waxy, his eyes, widening maliciously though, sunken and shadowed.
How if I desire to say, with a different emphasis:
His skin was ..., and his eyes were sunken and shadowed, although widening maliciously.
His skin was ..., and his eyes, widening maliciously though, were sunken and shadowed.
Are the two sentences above natural? Thank you in advance for your response.
Linguaphile wrote:Voldemort stroke it absently with his pale, slim fingers, tilting his head on one side, as if considering me with a malicious, constant gaze.azhong wrote: Voldemort stroke it absently with his pale, slim fingers, tilting his head on one side, as considering me with a malicious, constant gaze.
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