Historic grievances/specific cases [split]

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Aurinĭa
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Re: Historic grievances/specific cases [split]

Postby Aurinĭa » 2018-04-19, 16:14

vijayjohn wrote:
So what do you suggest?

I suggest listening to what I have to say below since I did experience it:

Not every instance of viewing sexual content without adult supervision traumatizes a child. The difference is not between text and picture forms; the difference lies in how the child is exposed to it. What is traumatic is not merely coming across sexual content. What is traumatic, or at least can be, is when an adult who you trust specifically targets you and shows it to you.

On the one hand, I have come across both porn and written sex scenes as a minor before; this was not a problem for me at all. On the other hand, I have also been presented with porn as a minor by an adult who should have known better; this was the problem.

So, in terms of how that should translate to sexual content on UL (correct me if I'm wrong): You have been exposed to sexual content as a minor and don't find being exposed to sexual content on a language forum traumatic or even problematic, so you think posting sexual content on language forum (outside of the designated random sex thread) should be acceptable to everyone. If so, would you have any suggestions on how to reconcile that view with the view of people who don't want to see sexual content on a language forum?

I want to highlight this sentence in particular.
What is traumatic is not merely coming across sexual content.

It can be. Have you ever heard of PTSD? Triggers? You know, the reason for trigger warnings and content warnings?
Have you ever thought about the fact that there might be other UL members who did have traumatic sexual experiences (whether as a child or as an adult) and might not want to see that content?

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dEhiN
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Re: Historic grievances/specific cases [split]

Postby dEhiN » 2018-04-19, 18:20

linguoboy wrote:To reprise another refrain: I'm less concerned about the actual rules and their exact wording than about how they're implemented. And that's crucially dependent on the principles and aims of the mods.

I like this reprisal, and I think I get it fully now. I guess my aim as a mod is to make sure everyone feels as safe and accepted as is possible while balancing the fact that this is a global community.

linguoboy wrote:So is it safe to say that you see Unilang as basically an online social club organised around a common interest in languages?

Yeah, I would say so. I personally, as well as I believe others on here, have experienced interactions that you generally might not experience with social clubs, such as introduction to concepts and ideas outside my worldview, or emotional support for issues I'm struggling with. But at its core, this is how I view UniLang.

lingouboy wrote:If moderation were perfectly transparent but moderators refused to listen to any feedback on it, then you might have a point. But I don't see ignoring constructive feedback as a goal of the mods. Transparency in moderation is a necessity for feedback to be worthwhile. Call that "participatory" if you like, but I think it's different from crowdsourcing the moderation process itself.

You're right, it is different from crowdsourcing. And, even though I didn't quote it, what you said about privacy as well as the desire for many on here to not know the nuts and bolts of how things work are both big factors. I think it's that sometimes I will only see options A and B, and don't recognize there could be an option C unless it's pointed out to me!
My TAC for 2018.

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vijayjohn
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Re: Historic grievances/specific cases [split]

Postby vijayjohn » 2018-04-19, 23:32

Aurinĭa wrote:So, in terms of how that should translate to sexual content on UL (correct me if I'm wrong): You have been exposed to sexual content as a minor and don't find being exposed to sexual content on a language forum traumatic or even problematic, so you think posting sexual content on language forum (outside of the designated random sex thread) should be acceptable to everyone.

That depends on what you mean by "be acceptable to everyone." I'm not saying everyone has to like it. I'm just saying that in my experience, it is not traumatic. I haven't found evidence that it is traumatic for some people yet, and I don't think it is valid grounds for an arbitrary ban with no prior warning of someone who does it.
If so, would you have any suggestions on how to reconcile that view with the view of people who don't want to see sexual content on a language forum?

Don't read it?

vijayjohn
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Re: Historic grievances/specific cases [split]

Postby vijayjohn » 2018-04-22, 3:11

Double-posting because there's something I want to say to Johanna:

I am sorry I caused you so much grief with my words. I really had no intention of making you feel negatively about yourself in any way. I just want to see a different and better moderation style on this forum. That is all.

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Johanna
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Re: Historic grievances/specific cases [split]

Postby Johanna » 2018-04-22, 21:47

vijayjohn wrote:Double-posting because there's something I want to say to Johanna:

I am sorry I caused you so much grief with my words. I really had no intention of making you feel negatively about yourself in any way. I just want to see a different and better moderation style on this forum. That is all.

Yeah... I don't really think you're genuine...

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=52746&p=1100306#p1100304
Swedish (sv) native; English (en) good; Norwegian (no) read fluently, understand well, speak badly; Danish (dk) read fluently, understand badly, can't speak; Faroese (fo) read some, understand a bit, speak a few sentences; German (de) French (fr) Spanish (es) forgetting; heritage language, want to understand and speak but can't.

vijayjohn
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Re: Historic grievances/specific cases [split]

Postby vijayjohn » 2018-04-22, 21:58

I don't understand. Are you saying that refusing to answer a question implies an intent to hurt your feelings?


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