You Know You're Hungarian...
1. When you use sour cream more than ketchup.
My mum and grandma do that. I hate the stuff.
5. When Paprika is just as important as salt & pepper on the table & in food.
This is true.
10. When you have at least one relative who's named Attila. Or József. Or János. Or László. Or István.
I have relatives named József, János and László.
12. When you know that the "goulash" you see in many restaurants has in actuality little/nothing to do with the gulyás leves we really eat.
Lots of words are appropriated from other languages and change meaning in the process.
13. When meeting another Hungarian in a country outside of Hungary is amazing.
Uhh, not to me.
15. When you love Turó Rudi but can't really explain to foreigners what the hell it is until they try it.
Is that like gombapörkölt or káposztás tészta?
16. When your foreign friends ask you if you still believe that Santa Claus brings the presents on the night between December 24th-25th... then you answer somehow confused that Santa Claus brings the presents on the 6th of December and it is actually Little Jesus who brings the presents on Christmas, but the presents are already there on the 24th at 6PM.
Did you put your shoes on the window sill?
17. When a pancake is extremely flat in your country and you roll it up instead of folding it.
That's true everywhere except the US.
20. When guys keep telling you that Hungarian girls are the cutest and prettiest and they hope that you believe it and they get laid.
But it's true! (my phone number goes here)
21. When they wanna show off by saying that they know your capital: Bucharest and no, they are not joking!
Would you sleep with me if I could pronounce Pest correctly?
26. When you start counting on your hand with one being the thumb.
I most primates of genus Homo do that.
31. When you have difficulty pronouncing words starting with "W" in English, but you're capable of creating long and meaningful sentences using only "E" vowels in your mother tongue.
Hmm, I have no difficulty pronouncing words that start with a W, but cannot think of a long or meaningful sentence in English using only the vowel E.
39. When zou cant tzpe on and english kezboard because y and z are mixed up.
German keyboards also have y and z swapped relative to English.
40. When you know the difference between s and sz. and also u and ü.
I know the difference between s and sz, but not u and ü. (Do I get a point if I know the difference between a and á instead?)
42. When you understand cynicism and sarcasm; and you at often times are cynical/sarcastic yourself.
Nothing unique to hungarians.
59. When you can pronounce easily long words like: megszentségtelenitéshetetlenségeskedéseitekért and you even know it has a meaning.
Okay, you win.
60. When you smuggle in drinks and food in your bag when you go to the cinema, just to save money.
In England you don't have to smuggle them. And in Scotland you are expected to provide your own.
67. When you tell to every single person that the Rubik's cube was invented in Hungary.
Everyone already knows.
68. When for every meaning there are about 5 words.
In English, every meaning has about 10 words.
69. When any foreigner's passing mention of Transylvania will set off a twenty-minute rant about the Treaty of Trianon.
So raise an army and get it back.
71. When you start singing one of the saddest songs at midnight on New Years Eve when everybody else is happy as can be.
At least you have Szent István nap.
73. When you say 'Jó étvágyat' before you start a meal and "Egészségedre" if somebody is sneezing or for drinking.
I say Egészségedre but not Jó étvágyat.
74. When you steal sugar packets from different coffee places.
I prefer to pinch them from McDonalds because I don't like that company.
77. When the telephone rings in your house, everybody yells "telefon!!!" as if people needed to be told that the phone was ringing, and needed to be picked up.
80. When your parents could tell if you were lying as a kid by feeling how 'soft' the tip of your nose was.
I missed out on that I think.
81. When you can make astonishingly delicious dishes without spending more than 3 euros (krumplis tészta, káposztás tészta, túrós tészta).
I can't cook any of that for myself. I wish I could because it's the best food on the planet.
84. If you've never been to a school in America, you are scared shit of it, because all you ever see about it on the news are the school shootings.
But the vampires should make you feel more at home.
87. When you love to swim, and swim in one of Budapest's outdoor pools at least 2 times a week.
Oh dear. I only went once a week. Maybe because I'm only half hungarian.
93. When you laugh at Americans who think paying $3.00/gallon for gas is a lot.
When I'm King of the USA, after giving most of the land back to the natives, I would apply a five-fold tax on petrol. That will get them out of those SUVs and Hummers, and back to the real world.
97. If you are not a native Hungarian, and other Hungarians can tell, and when you go visit Hungary/Budapest you feel like person a non-grata when you're there 'cause a lot of people will assume things about you and think you're super rich and automatically be jealous of you, and then go out of their way to try to make you unhappy.
I will have to try that one.
99. When you are having a hard time explaining to any foreigner that actually, your family name is the first in your name, and it is not your given one.
Try your luck in France with this one. Bon chance.
100. When everyone having ever lived in Hungary has at least one acquaintance of each of the following surname groups: Kis(s), Nagy, Varga, Kovács, Toth and maybe even Béres and Balogh.
I know people called Nagy and Toth.
101. When you've traveled to/vacationed in/visited at least 10 countries in your life.
Does the Black Country count?
102. When you don't use measuring cups when cooking.
That one is only relevant to females. Males from all countries skip this step.
105. When you live abroad and you could kill to eat proper Hungarian food!!
Ahh! I miss hungarian food all the time.
106. When your neighbor sun tans topless.
He's indian, so it wouldn't be a surprise if he did.
107. When people question you for eating a sandwich for breakfast.
Say what? Nobody would do that.
108. When mixing red wine and coke is a delicious combination and you can't believe that foreigners think it's weird.
Do you dissolve the coke in the wine or just snort it whilst drinking?
109. When every 2nd person you know is either a Gábor, Feri, Csaba, György, István, Éva, Bea, Eszter, etc.
113. When you know that CS, DZ, DZS, GY, LY, NY, etc. are all ONE LETTER, and when telling it to your foreign friends, they all think it's weird.
I don't tell people this. They should already know it.
114. When you say 'Szia' or 'Hello' instead of 'Viszlát' to your friends when you say good-bye to them, and your foreign friends think it's weird as well.
I use szia or viszontlátásra.
117. When you have a bumper sticker on your car or map in your home of "Nagy Magyarország."
I have the map.
118. When you smuggle salami back from Hungary.
I usually use couriers for this as I don't visit very often.
119. When you can (actually) pronounce gy, as in HOGY VAGY - and not say hogi-vagi.
With english graphemes I would try to write it as "hodge vardge" (non-rhotic)
120. When you think it's weird that Americans don't have gates around their homes.
I prefer the automated heat-tracking gun turret myself.
129. When you have to stand out in the rain to grow tall.
Another one I did not hear in my childhood.
135. When there are more books in your apartment than in a foreign friend's entire neighborhood.
Well why else would you have a Library Room?
136. When you speak to foreign people in Hungarian, but slower and louder than normal to make your language understandable!
I think the reputation of the English for doing this (Especially in southern Spain) is greater than that of the Hungarians.
139. When you are a citizen of the only country that has a crown with a tilted cross on the top.
The Italians have a wonky tower and England has plenty of crooked church spires.
146. When you can't simply say "Fine, thanks" when someone asks "How are you?" but rather, you go into the details of your life.
Well then they shouldn't ask.
149. When your foreign friends have a hard time understanding that your friends in Slovakia and Transylvania are Hungarians by birth but not Hungarian citizens.
Aussies will relate well to this.
150. When you blame everything on the Communists.
Communism isn't so bad, it's just that the only people who have tried it were all maniacs.
151. When you don't waste food... you save the leftovers for the next day.
That's normal, everyone does that.
155. When you go to visit Hungary, and no matter how many times you tell people you're from CANADA, they still think you're American.
Err, but Canada is in America? It's the country to the north of the United States and to the west of Kalaallit Nunaat.
157. When you rub a bronze horses balls for good luck.
Oh? I will have to pretend to be a bronze horse more often.
164. When you have to explain the difference between the Hungarian flag and the Italian one.
Don;t forget the Irish one.
171. When you fill your fridge completely after a simple day of shopping.
Another thing common across the globe.
172. When you are in day camp and are envying the other kids who have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread while you, the immigrant, have Hungarian salami and smoked ham sandwiches with hot mustard on rye... and NO ONE will trade with you.
How do you put a jelly in your sandwiches?
174. When you go to a real hardcore British pub in London and they won't even serve you because you're "a bloody Polish or Latvian or something like that" because of your accent.
Well if yer din't speek nofink like a Lond'ner whatd'ya ek spect?
176. When you're a teenage girl, old women come up to you, grab you by the hips, shake you a little, and declare/order: "Larrge hípsz! Eez gööd forr making bébísz -- YOU MEET MY SON."
i AM her son!
177. When you can't imagine any of your daily meals without meat - preferably red, mainly from pork- and/or bread which has to be the old school CE European "paraszt" loaf.
I go for schnizel/snitzel myself.
179. When you go to a restaurant you put the bread from the table into your bag so you can eat it at home.
You need a bigger stomach!
181. When your grandmother tells you that if you make a certain face it will stay that way if you do it for too long.
OMG! Is that a hungarian thing? I never realised.
182. When the family band breaks out the cimbalom, hegedű, duda, and tárogató after eating csirke paprikás for lunch on a Sunday afternoon!
Sunday Lunch is always the culinary highlight of the week.
191. When you eat pizza with a fork and knife.
You can tell where people are from in the US by how they eat pizza:
North East: Fold a slice in half lengthways so all the filling is on the inside
Mid-West: Your pizza is rectangular.
South: Knife and fork.
West coast: They eat normal-shaped pizzas in a normal fashion.
197. When your grandmother/mother wakes you up at half past six in the morning by opening the windows and pulling off your blanket/duvet.
I don't think they would have done that more than once.
209. When feeding a baby canned food is unheard of, down right cruel, and heartless.
Well of course it is. You should open the can and take the food out first.
225. When, for those living in the U.S., you wake up to DUNA television on weekend mornings.
Why only weekends?
226. When your mother makes noodles for the pörkölt, nokedli!
Oh my god yes.