Okay, I worked my way through this poem. It was hard, and I'm not at all satisfied with the result.
Corrections are welcome.
Jól van, átrágtam magam ezen a versen. Nehéz volt, és egyáltalán nem vagyok megelégedve az eredménnyel.
A javításokat örömmel fogadom.
Kezdjük tán a "jó" szóval, tárgy esetben "jót",
Let's start with the word 'jó' (good), its accusative form being 'jót',
ámde "tó"-ból "tavat" lesz, nem pediglen "tót".
but 'tó' (lake) becomes 'tavat', and not 'tót' (Slovak).
Egyes számban "kő" a kő, többes számban "kövek",
The singular of stone is 'kő', its plural is 'kövek',
nőnek "nők" a többese, helytelen a "növek".
the plural of 'nő' (woman) is 'nők', and 'növek' is incorrect.
Többesben a tő nem "tők", szabatosan "tövek",
The plural of 'tő' (stem) is not 'tők' but 'tövek', to be precise,
amint hogy a cső nem "csők", magyar földön "csövek".
just as 'cső' (pipe) is not 'csők'—it's 'csövek' on the Hungarian land.
Anyós kérdé: van két vőm, ezek talán "vövek"?
The mother-in-law asked (archaic past): I have two son-in-laws ('vő'), are they perhaps 'vövek' (the correct plural is 'vők')?
Azt se' tudom, mi a "cö"? Egyes számú cövek?
And I don't even know what 'cö' is (it doesn't mean anything). The singular of 'cövek' (spike)?
Csók - ha adják - százával jő, ez benne a jó;
Kisses—if given—come in hundreds ('jő' is an archaic form of 'jön'), that's what makes it good;
hogyha netán egy puszit kapsz, annak neve "csó"?
if you happen to get one little kiss, is it called a 'csó' (meaningless)?
Bablevesed lehet sós, némely vinkó savas,
Your bean soup can be salty, and some bad vines acidic,
nem lehet az utca hós, magyarul csak havas.
but the street cannot be 'hós' (erroneous use of adjective suffix -s with 'hó', 'snow'), it can only be 'havas' (snowy) in Hungarian.
Miskolcon ám Debrecenben, Győrött, Pécsett, Szegeden;
In Miskolc, but in Debrecen, in Győr, in Pécs, in Szeged (demonstrating the random endings place names take);
amíg mindezt megtanulod, beleőszülsz, idegen.
your hair will turn grey until you learn all this, foreigner.
Agysebész, ki agyat műt otthon ír egy művet.
A brain surgeon who operates ('műt' looks like an erroneous accusative form of 'mű', 'work of art') brains, is a writer at home (lit. 'writes a work of art at home').
Tűt használ a műtéthez, nem pediglen tűvet.
He uses a needle for the operation, not 'tűvet' (erroneous accusative form of 'tű', 'needle').
Munka után füvet nyír, véletlen se fűvet.
He mows lawn (lit. cuts grass) after work, not 'fűvet' (another bad accusative, now for 'fű', 'grass').
Vágy fűti a műtősnőt. A műtőt a fűtő.
The operating room assistant lady is heated by desire. The operating room by the stoker.
Nyáron nyír a tüzelő, télen nyárral fűt ő.
The stoker (actually someone who burns wood to heat, I just can't think of a proper word) cuts trees during summer, and they heat using poplar during winter (poplar and summer are both 'nyár').
Több szélhámost lefüleltek, erre sokan felfüleltek,
Many frauds were caught ('eared down'), which many people noticed ('eared up'),
kik a népet felültették... mindnyájukat leültették.
who tricked ('made sit up') the people... all of them were jailed ('made sit down').
Foglár fogán fog-lyuk van, nosza, tömni fogjuk!
There's a tooth hole in the tooth of the guard, come on, we'll be filling it ('fogjuk', 'we will', sonds the same as 'fog-lyuk', 'tooth hole')!
Eközben a fogházból megszökhet a foglyuk.
In the meantime, their prisoner (which looks and sounds like 'toothhole' again, the possessive form of 'fogoly') can escape from the prison (which looks like 'toothhouse', because 'fog' as a verb has 'hold' as its primary meaning; guards can be called 'foglár' for the same reason).
Elröppenhet foglyuk is, hacsak meg nem fogjuk.
Their partridge (also 'fogoly') can fly away too, unless we catch it ('megfog', a perfective form of 'fog').
Főmérnöknek fáj a feje - vagy talán a fője?
The head of the head engineer is aching—or is it his 'fő' (another word for 'head' that cannot be used here)?
Öt perc múlva jő a neje, s elájul a nője.
His wife (known by the special possessive form of 'nő') comes in five minutes, and his mistress (using the normal possessive with 'nő' means mistress or girlfriend in a derogatory way) will faint.
Százados a bakák iránt szeretetet tettetett,
The captain faked ('tettet' means 'pretend') fondness for his soldiers,
reggelenként kávéjukba rút szereket tetetett.
he got someone to put ('tetet' is a factitive form of 'tesz') ugly chemicals into their coffees every morning
Helyes-kedves helység Bonyhád, hol a konyhád helyiség.
Bonyhád is a lovely (both 'helyes' and 'kedves' mean this, 'helyes' being an adjective formed from 'hely') settlement, where your kitchen is a room. (helység vs. helyiség: settlement vs. room)
Nemekből vagy igenekből született a nemiség?
Was sexuality born from noes or yeses?
Mekkában egy kába ürge Kába Kőbe lövet,
A dizzy gopher has someone shoot ('lövet' is the factitive form of 'lő') into the Kaaba Stone in Mecca,
országának nevében a követ követ követ.
in the name of his country, the ambassador follows a stone ('követ' is the accusative of 'kő', 'stone', and also means 'ambassador' when interpreted as a nominative noun; besides it's the verb 'follow' too).
Morcos úr a hivatalnok, beszél hideg 's ridegen,
The office worker is a grumpy man, he talks in a cold and austere manner,
néha játszik nem sajátján, csak idegen idegen.
sometimes he plays not on his own, but on the nerves of a stranger ('idegen' is an adjective or a noun meaning 'stranger' as well as 'on a nerve').
Szeginé a terítőjét, szavát részeg Szegi szegi,
Mrs Szegi hems her tablecloth, drunk Mr Szegi breaks his promise (lit. 'hems his word'),
asszonyának előbb kedvét, majd pedig a nyakát szegi.
first he depresses his wife (lit. 'hems her mood'), then he breaks (lit. 'hems') his neck.
Elvált asszony nyögve nyeli a keserű pirulát:
The divorced woman swallows the bitter pill groaningly:
mit válasszon? A Fiatot, fiát vagy a fiúját?
which one should she choose? The Fiat, her son or her boyfriend ('son' and 'boyfriend' are the same word, 'fiú', distinguished only in their different possessive forms; 'Fiatot' looks like a third ending for this word).
Ingyen strandra lányok mentek, előítélettől mentek,
Girls went ('mentek', verb: 'megy') to the free beach, they are free ('mentek', adjective: 'ment', a slightly archaic variation of 'mentes') from prejudice,
estefelé arra mentek, én már fuldoklókat mentek.
you'll be going ('mentek', verb: 'megy') around there in the evening, and I'll be saving ('mentek', verb: 'ment') drowning people already.
Eldöntöttem: megnősülök. Fogadok két feleséget.
I made a decision: I'll marry [a woman]. I'll take two wives (the word for wife is derived from 'fél', which means half; it's literally something like 'halfling').
Megtanultam: két fél alkot és garantál egészséget.
I learned: two halves make up and guarantee health (which is literally 'entireness' in Hungarian).
Harminc nyarat megértem,
I lived ('megértem', stem: 'megér') thirty summers (i. e. years),
mint a dinnye megértem,
I ripened ('megértem', stem: 'megérik') like a melon,
anyósomat megértem...
I understand ('megértem', stem: 'megért') my mother-in-law...
én a pénzem megértem.
I was worth ('megértem', stem: 'megér') my money (this idiom means 'I was a wicked guy').
Hibamentes mentő vagyok.
I'm a flawless (lit. 'free from errors', again a 'ment' thing) rescuer (ambulance man).
Szőke Tisza partján mentem:
I was going on the bank of the blonde Tisza:
díszmagyarom vízbe esett,
my
díszmagyar (a traditional formal outfit, analogous to the suit) fell into the water,
díszes mentém menten mentem.
I'm rescuing my well-decorated
mente (a kind of jacket, referring to the
díszmagyar above) immediately
Szövőgyárban kelmét szőnek: fent is lent meg lent is lent.
They are weaving drape in a textile factory: flax upstairs and flax downstairs as well (the accusative of flax, 'len' and downstairs, 'lent' look identical).
Kikent kifent késköszörűs lent is fent meg fent is fent.
A 'nicely dressed and pomaded' (lit. 'smeared and sharpened') knife sharpener was sharpening downstairs as well as upstairs (in this case the past tense of sharpen, 'fen', coincides with upstairs, 'fent').
Ha a kocka újfent fordul fent a lent és lent is fent.
If the cube turns again, down will be up and up will be down too.
Hajmáskéren pultok körül körözött egy körözött,
There was someone wanted by the police (a 'körözött') circling ('körözött') among the counters in Hajmáskér,
hagyma lapult kosarában meg egy tasak kőrözött.
there were onions in his basket, and a bag of
kőrözött (a kind of cream you can put on bread)
Fölvágós a középhátvéd, három csatárt fölvágott,
The centre-back is pompous (lit. 'tends to cut up'), he kicked up (lit. 'cut up') three strikers,
hát belőle vajon mi lesz: fasírt-é vagy fölvágott?
but what will become of him: a meatball or a cutlet (lit. 'something cut up')?
Díjbirkózó győzött tussal,
The wrestler won with a pin/fall ('tus'),
nevét írják vörös tussal,
his name is written with red Indian ink ('tus'),
lezuhanyzott meleg tussal,
he took a warm shower with a douche ('tus'),
prímás várja forró tussal.
the fiddler waits him with a hot flourish ('tus').
(As a side note, 'tus' means gunstock too...)
Határidőt szabott Áron: árat venne szabott áron.
Áron set a deadline: he'd buy an awl at a fixed price.
Átvág Áron hat határon, kitartásod meghat, Áron.
Áron crosses six borders, your endurance moves me, Áron.
Felment, fölment, tejfel, tejföl; ne is folytasd, barátom:
He went up, he went up, sour cream, sour cream (both with e-ö alternate spellings); don't even continue, my friend:
első lett az ángyom lánya a fölemás korláton.
the daughter of my sister-in-law won a competition on uneven bars (should be 'felemás' in standard spelling, showing that e-ö cannot be interchanged anywhere).
Földmérő küzd öllel, árral;
The surveyor fights against feet ('öl': a distance of six feet) and floods;
árhivatal szökő árral,
the pricing office (?) with the skyrocketing prices,
ármentő a szökőárral,
rescuers [against flood] with the tsunami,
suszter inas bökőárral.
the cobble apprentice with the awl.
Magyarország olyan ország hol a nemes nemtelen,
Hungary is a country where the nobles ('with "nem"') are dishonest ('without "nem"'),
lábasodnak nincsen lába, aki szemes: szemtelen.
your dishes ('with feet') have no feet, who's shrewd ('has eyes') is impertinent ('has no eyes').
A csinos néha csintalan, szarvatlan a szarvas,
The pretty ones ('with "csin"') are sometimes naughty ('without "csin"'), the deer ('with horns') might have no horns,
magos lehet magtalan, s farkatlan a farkas.
the one with seeds can be without seeds [I'm not sure what this alludes to], the wolf ('with a tail') might have no tail.
Daru száll a darujára, s lesz a darus darvas.
A crane lands on his crane, thus the crane operators ('darus', an adjective from 'daru', used as a noun) becomes 'craney' ('darvas'; the point is that the same stem declines in different ways depending on its meaning).
Rágcsáló a mérget eszi, engem esz a méreg.
The rodent eats the poison, the poison eats me (which means that I'm angry).
Gerinces, vagy rovar netán a toportyánféreg?
Is the wolf ('toportyánféreg', literally some kind of maggot) a vertebrate or an insect?
Egyesben a vakondokok "vakond" avagy "vakondok".
The singular of mole is 'vakond' or 'vakondok' (which looks like the plural of 'vakond').
Hasonlóképp helyes lesz a "kanon" meg a "kanonok"?
Is it similarly right ot say 'kanon' (nonsense) or 'kanonok' (prebendary)?
Nemileg vagy némileg? - gyakori a gikszer.
Sexually or somewhat? - it's a frequent mistake.
"Kedves ege-segedre" - köszönt a svéd mixer.
'Cheers' (with a bad accent that sounds like saying 'on your lovely arse') - the Swedish mixer greets you.
Arab diák magolja: tevéd, tévéd, téved;
The Arabic student is cramming: 'your camel', 'your telly', 'he's wrong';
merjél mérni mértékkel, mertek, merték, mértek.
dare to measure/draw (drink) with caution, you dare/they dared/scooped, they dared/were scooping it, they were measuring.
Pisti így szól: kimosta anyukám a kádat!
Pisti speaks up: my mother cleaned the tub!
Viszonzásul kimossa anyukád a kámat?
Will your mother clean 'kám' (nonsense) in return?
(This is a strange pun playing on the irregular possessive forms of 'száj', 'mouth': szám - my mouth, szád - your mouth)
Óvodások ragoznak: enyém, enyéd, enyé;
The toddlers are conjugating: mine, ?, ?;
nem tudják, hogy helyesen: tiém, tiéd, tié.
they don't know that the correct way is: ?, yours, ?.
(Another faux conjugation, the words substituted with question marks are nonsense. It's hard to put it in English, but the first line would be something like 'my mine, your mine, his mine', and the second 'my yours, your yours, his yours', assuming that 'my mine' and 'your yours' would be correct forms...)
A magyar nyelv - azt hiszem, meggyőztelek Barátom -
külön-leges-legszebb nyelv kerek e nagy világon!
The Hungarian language—I think I convinced you, My Friend—
is aspecialthemostbeautiful ('különleges' - special, 'legeslegszebb' - the fourth degree of 'beautiful', above superlative) language all over this huge world!