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Fābula Brevis

Posted: 2009-08-13, 18:40
by Ahmes
Salvē,
I'm quite new to Latin, and try to write short stories as practice. I currently know only the present tense and have a rather limited vocabulary, so the stories still sound somewhat poor.
I'd be glad if you could correct my errors and give whatever other tips:

Marcus est puer. Pater Marcī est argentārius, nunc est occupātus. Marcus prope iānuam stat et clāmōrem facit. ‘Satis, fīlius!’ clāmat pater. Sed puer nōn est quiētus. ‘Cūr tū mē vexās?’ inquit pater.
‘Father, I am bored...’
‘Quid tū dīcis? Linguam Anglicam nōn sciō.’
‘Linguam Anglicam in interrētī discō, sed nēmō in urbe mē intellegit.’
‘Marcus, sumus in Rōmā antīquā, lingua Anglica nōn exsistit; barbarī in Britanniā Celtice loquuntur.’
Pater exit...

‘Ubi est pater?’ inquit Marcus.
‘Pater abest, ad tabernam contendit’ servus respondet.
Pater tabernam petit et librum Anglicum emit. Pater quoque linguam Anglicam discit et puerum intelegit.


Thanks :)

Re: Fābula Brevis

Posted: 2009-08-15, 14:05
by Babelfish
I don't see any obvious errors, although take into account my Latin isn't much either... I thought "taberna" was a wrong word here and it turns out I was the one wrong :P
Afaik, Latin usually puts the verb at the end of the sentence, which you've done in most of the story except the first sentences.
Also, I'd drop "tu" from what the father says, again afaik Latin tends to drop personal pronouns when they're clear from the verb form (the usual case).
--- Ah, found a mistake: it should be "satis, fīlī!" in vocative.
And the father didn't mention that not only did English not exist at the time, but also neither did the Internet :P

Re: Fābula Brevis

Posted: 2009-08-17, 11:15
by Ahmes
Thanks. I forgot about the vocative (even existing), I read somewhere that it's usually the same as nominative so I didn't bother to set my mind to watch for it...
As for the , those particular expressions (‘cūr tū mē vexās’ & ‘quid tū dīcis?’) appear in the book I study from (Cambridge Latin Course); also the forms "X est Y" and "ubi est X" appear there, so I guess verbs don't come in the end in every case.

Re: Fābula Brevis

Posted: 2009-08-17, 14:19
by Babelfish
Certainly not in every case, it is just a matter of common style. I could wonder whether this Latin course tries to give simple sentences in more English-like structure to make it easy in the beginning, but otherwise I certainly won't go arguing with it :P

Re: Fābula Brevis

Posted: 2009-08-17, 16:36
by loqu
the Cambridge Course states the verb goes always at the end except for sum. I don't know where that comes from, but when I studied with that course I read it.

Very funny story, Ahmes :)

Re: Fābula Brevis

Posted: 2009-08-18, 4:02
by KingHarvest
loqu wrote:the Cambridge Course states the verb goes always at the end except for sum. I don't know where that comes from, but when I studied with that course I read it.

Very funny story, Ahmes :)


It certainly does not always go at the end. Supposedly, SOV is the most neutral type of sentence in Latin, but this is incredibly misleading. The verb can be found anywhere, and it is beyond both the scope of a forum post and my own knowledge to write anything all that meaningful on the subject. It's best to read real Latin literature and read scholarly works on Latin syntax that deal with how various prose authors put together sentences.