UniLang

Figured I’d reanimate this thread and post a translation I just did. I’m looking for suggestions from advanced English speakers as to how it can be made more fluent, as well as whether there are errors, of course. I’m doing a presentation at a music conference and these are the lyrics of a song I plan to include.

Here's the original (I’ve had to add in diacritics/Polish letters, hopefully I’ve gotten them all):

I tak się własnie koǹczy świat
nie hukiem, ni skomleniem
lecz szumem bełkotu ślepców
zapomniałych swego upadku

Oto krew świata, strumienie Ichor
Strugi ciepłej śliny na pyskach Hylikos

Oto istota kielicha z Mateusza
Kształty bez formy, cienie bez barwy
Słowa bez znaczeǹ, mozlwiosci bez celu
Promieniejące życie



And here's the translation:

And that is exactly how the world will end
not with a bang, nor with a whimper
but with the noise of the gibbering blind
forgetful of their fall.
Here is the blood of the world, the streaming Ichor,
streaming warm saliva from the snout of Hylikos
Here is the essence of the chalice of Matthew
Shapes without form, shades without color
Words without meaning, possibilities without purpose
Radiating life.


Any suggestions will be much appreciated... dziękuję bardzo!

Just 2 more diacritics:

I tak się właśnie koǹczy świat
nie hukiem, ni skomleniem
lecz szumem bełkotu ślepców
zapomniałych swego upadku

Oto krew świata, strumienie Ichor
Strugi ciepłej śliny na pyskach Hylikos

Oto istota kielicha z Mateusza
Kształty bez formy, cienie bez barwy
Słowa bez znaczeǹ, możlwiości bez celu
Promieniejące życie

EDIT: actually, 3 of them. I missed the last one.

Thanks for the corrections. How about the translation itself, are there any ways in which it could be made more accurate to the original?

I've just done another song by the same band... please critique/explain any nuances of meaning I may not have picked up on. Particularly, is "horror" a good translation of "groza"?

Original:
Z ostrzem Solipsis w uniesionej dłoni
Z pieśną Hybris na zakrwawionych ustach
U perłowych bram - na spotkanie Rodzajowi!

Poza skrajem
Po przeciwnej stronie ja

W każdej kropli jadu, w każdej strudze śliny jestem,
Ja - jestem

Nada, groza, nada
Groza, nada, groza
Hail nothing full of nothing
nothing is with thee

Pożerając, depcząc splendor legionów
Po gruzach Znanego, po ścierwie Porządku
Po ścieżkach krętych i stopniach stromych
Niesiony dziką, zimną żądzą Zwątpienia


Translation:
With a raised hand clutching the blade of Solipsis
And a bloody mouth singing the song of Hybris
At the pearly gates – to meet with Kind!

Beyond the border
On the other side I

In each drop of poison, in each strand of saliva I am
I – am

It will bestow, horror, it will bestow
Horror, it will bestow, horror
Hail nothing full of nothing
nothing is with thee

Devouring, trampling the splendour of legions
Through the ruins of the Known, through the waste of Order,
By winding paths and steep steps
Borne along by a mad, frigid desire to Doubt.

are there any ways in which it could be made more accurate to the original?

That's a tricky one when it comes to poetry, at least for me. I think you've done a good translation.

anthox wrote: Particularly, is "horror" a good translation of "groza"?

It is. Another option (although a tad more awkward) would be okropieństwo.

Po przeciwnej stronie ja

This bit probably meant: "on the other side of I" (= of ego/myself). Not 100% sure though.

Nada

This bit doesn't make any sense, really, unless it's simply the Spanish "nothing", which would agree with next lines in English.

The rest looks really well done.

BezierCurve wrote:

Nada

This bit doesn't make any sense, really, unless it's simply the Spanish "nothing", which would agree with next lines in English.

The rest looks really well done.

Yes, that part did give me a bit of trouble. I did notice the Spanish correspondence, but I thought it might be a pun to go along with the Polish meaning. Eventually I figured it was the third-person present of nadać, listed in my dictionary as the perfective of nadawać, which it translates as "bestow, confer, grant." I ran nada through an online translator and it seemed to corroborate this sense, giving "he will send." Is this sense absent from the Polish? My problem is that I have no exposure to Polish in a natural, spoken context, so my functional understanding is minimal. Could you maybe explain the reason why what I've put doesn't make much sense?

The problem here with the Polish "nada" is its transitivness, as there is no apparent object for it (nor the verb being reflexive, which would be also grammaticaly possible).

Hi,
I received this message inside a Christmas card, can anyone translate it and possibly suggest a suitable response - I have an awareness of pronunciation and can make quite an effective stab at speaking if I practise first!!!
I apologise if any of this is incorrect as I am typing up from handwriting, and I may have misread some characters :
"staropolskim obyczqjem,
gdy w wigillie, gwiazda 'wslaje,
Nowy Rok zas cyfie zmienia,
Wszystkim wszyscy sia zyczenia.
Pizy lej pieknej sposoBrwosci
aby i wam sie dazyio.
z Roku na Rok lepiej byio!!!

Thank you

I believe it ought to be:

Staropolskim obyczajem,
gdy w Wigilię gwiazda wstaje,
Nowy Rok zaś cyfrę zmienia,
wszyscy wszystkim ślą życzenia.
Przy tej pięknej sposobności
aby i wam się darzyło,
z roku na rok lepiej było.

My translation that probably sucks stylistically but could give you some idea of the meaning:

By an old Polish custom
when on the Christmas Eve a star rises
and the New Year changes the digit
everyone sends greetings to everyone.
On this beautiful occasion
so that you too would thrive
and do better year by year.

Besides, I think you should have posted it in the 'Translations' thread.

Sorry - my first post!
Many thanks for your help - a very beautiful, seasonal message.

Can you help me with this one?

Mechanizm działania amitryptyliny polega na niewybiórczym i w równym stopniu hamowaniu zwrotnego wychwytu noradrenaliny i serotoniny przez neurony ośrodkowego układu nerwowego i zahamowania ich inaktywacji w zakończeniach neuronów – skutkiem jest zwiększenie stężenia serotoniny i noradrenaliny w szczelinie między synapsami. Działanie uspokajające wynika prawdopodobnie z jej wpływu na receptory histaminowe

Thanks in advance

I guess it should go something like that

The mechanism of amytryptyline activity rely on unselective and even in level inhibition of reflexive norepinephrine (noradrenaline) and serotonine uptake by central nervous system neurons, and also on synapses deactivation inhibition, which result in increase serotonine and norepinephrine (noradrenaline) concentration between synapses. Calming effect possibly results from its influence on histamine receptors

What does this mean?

"zadzieram kiecę i lece"

Grytolle wrote:"zadzieram kiecę i lecę"

Hehe, that's a colloquial saying, it means something like "Here I go!".

Cosi wrote:

Grytolle wrote:"zadzieram kiecę i lecę"

Hehe, that's a colloquial saying, it means something like "Here I go!".

Thanks a lot!

I need to translate the following into Polish:-

'Thanks for helping me to learn Polish this year. Have a great Christmas and new year. See you in the new year'.

Is this correct:-

'Dziękuję za pomagac mnie uczyć polska w tym roku. Wesołych Świąt i szczęśliwego nowego roku. I będzie widzieć pan przyszły rok'

Let me correct your sentence a little bit.

It should go something like that:

Dziękuję za pomoc w nauce polskiego w tym roku. Wesołych Świąt i szczęśliwego Nowego Roku. Do zobaczenia w przyszłym roku.

The first sentence lacks proper polish declension (pomagać, uczyć) - you used it as verbs, but we use them as nouns. New Year, as in szczęśliwego Nowego Roku, we write as proper nouns, hence the great letters. The last one part was completely off, but still comprehensible.

Hope it helped a bit,

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year

deidrenell wrote:Let me correct your sentence a little bit.

It should go something like that:

Dziękuję za pomoc w nauce polskiego w tym roku. Wesołych Świąt i szczęśliwego Nowego Roku. Do zobaczenia w przyszłym roku.

The first sentence lacks proper polish declension (pomagać, uczyć) - you used it as verbs, but we use them as nouns. New Year, as in szczęśliwego Nowego Roku, we write as proper nouns, hence the great letters. The last one part was completely off, but still comprehensible.

Hope it helped a bit,

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year

Thanks for the help. Wesołych Świąt i szczęśliwego Nowego Roku

Could you tell me some typical words used for swearing in Polish when you're angry or something like that, like in English "Shit!" or Spanish "¡Joder!"?
Please, I need them pretty urgently...
Thank you in advance

General use:
Kurwa (mać)! (euph.: Kurna! Kurde!) <- this one is preferred
Cholera (jasna)! (euph.: Jasny gwint! O choroba! Cholipka!)
Ja pierdolę! (esp. when bored by sb/sth)
Do diabła! (weak)

When angry at someone:
Pierdol się! / Pieprz się! / Jeb się! / Idź się jebać!
Kurwa twoja mać!
Chuj ci w dupę! (strong)
Ty skurwysynu! / Chuju jebany! (only to men) (euph.: Skurczybyku! Sukinsynu!)
Ty kurwo! (to women)

When angry at something:
Pierdolić to! / Pieprzyć to! / Jebać to!
Niech to diabli! (weak)
Pieprzone... / Jebane... / Pierdolone... (used with specific thing name)
Chuj z tym!
W dupę! / Do dupy! (when sth isn't working; the latter is weak, can be used descriptively)