Gender thread

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What is your gender identity?

Agender
2
4%
Aliagender
0
No votes
Ambigender
0
No votes
Androgyne
0
No votes
Bigender
0
No votes
Cis man
28
54%
Cis woman
6
12%
Demiboy
1
2%
Demigirl
1
2%
Demienby
0
No votes
Feminine-of-Center
2
4%
Genderfluid
0
No votes
Genderless
1
2%
Genderqueer
1
2%
Masculine-of-Center
0
No votes
Multigender
0
No votes
Neutrois
2
4%
Pangender
0
No votes
Polygender
0
No votes
Third gender
0
No votes
(Trans) feminine
2
4%
Trans man
0
No votes
(Trans) masculine
0
No votes
Trans woman
2
4%
Trigender
0
No votes
Other/not listed
4
8%
 
Total votes: 52

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Lauren
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lauren » 2015-05-20, 4:35

I'm making a new thread in this subforum where I'll continue the discussion on BPD. :)
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Bijlee

Re: Gender thread

Postby Bijlee » 2015-05-20, 5:31

I clicked agender, genderless, and genderqueer going only off what definitions said. I'm female, but I don't really behave very feminine or have particularly feminine interests (nor masculine interests for that matter. At least I don't think so.). I've never really "felt" like a woman, nor anything else (although, sometimes I wish I were born a male).

I might have some level of dysphoria, but I still intend on calling myself a woman because it will cause me less trouble. I don't feel comfortable using these labels personally, nor do I feel the need to find myself a certain gender category. I'd simply rather not have people presume I do this or like that just 'cause I'm female. :|
I think gender would be something I never thought about and I'd just fine with my sex being female if it weren't for stereotypes/ sexism. Though maybe I just don't understand how it is that you identify with a gender. :?

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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lauren » 2015-05-20, 5:42

To me it seems more like you just don't adhere to stereotypical feminine gender roles? You can still identify as a woman but have a different gender expression and/or different gender roles. :) I can't tell you what you are or are not, but it seems to me like you don't particularly identify as agender/genderless/genderqueer but rather don't want to be associated with stereotypes of women and femininity. People that identify as one or more of those labels generally feel like it is an integral part of them.
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Bijlee » 2015-05-20, 5:52

Lauren wrote:To me it seems more like you just don't adhere to stereotypical feminine gender roles? You can still identify as a woman but have a different gender expression and/or different gender roles. :) I can't tell you what you are or are not, but it seems to me like you don't particularly identify as agender/genderless/genderqueer but rather don't want to be associated with stereotypes of women and femininity. People that identify as one or more of those labels generally feel like it is an integral part of them.

You might be right. :)
But I also don't feel like being a woman is an integral part of me either. It's more of just what I'm told and I don't feel a strong compulsion to change anyone's view. I think maybe being female is an integral part of me though (mostly because of the troubles it causes me :P). I'm not sure.

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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lauren » 2015-05-20, 5:58

Bijlee wrote:
Lauren wrote:To me it seems more like you just don't adhere to stereotypical feminine gender roles? You can still identify as a woman but have a different gender expression and/or different gender roles. :) I can't tell you what you are or are not, but it seems to me like you don't particularly identify as agender/genderless/genderqueer but rather don't want to be associated with stereotypes of women and femininity. People that identify as one or more of those labels generally feel like it is an integral part of them.

You might be right. :)
But I also don't feel like being a woman is an integral part of me either. It's more of just what I'm told and I don't feel a strong compulsion to change anyone's view. I think maybe being female is an integral part of me though (mostly because of the troubles it causes me :P). I'm not sure.

That is true. Until I started questioning my gender in late 2012 I only called myself a man/boy because that's what other people told me I was and I went along with it because I didn't know I was able to be anything else. You may or may not be similar in that regard. Being a man was never an integral to my identity. While I don't know exactly what my gender is because of things already described, being not cis is very integral to my identity.
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Bijlee

Re: Gender thread

Postby Bijlee » 2015-05-20, 6:15

Lauren wrote:That is true. Until I started questioning my gender in late 2012 I only called myself a man/boy because that's what other people told me I was and I went along with it because I didn't know I was able to be anything else. You may or may not be similar in that regard.

Kinda sounds like it. But like I said, finding myself an appropriate label doesn't feel very important to me. If all these labels were socially acceptable, I'd probably just be like "yep, agender" and call it a day to keep things simple. But I don't feel too bothered by being called a woman (probably because in most people's minds a woman= two X chromosomes and a vagina and all that); it's just the stereotypes that come along with it.

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Re: Gender thread

Postby Sol Invictus » 2015-05-20, 8:04

Lauren wrote:To me it seems more like you just don't adhere to stereotypical feminine gender roles? You can still identify as a woman but have a different gender expression and/or different gender roles. :) I can't tell you what you are or are not, but it seems to me like you don't particularly identify as agender/genderless/genderqueer but rather don't want to be associated with stereotypes of women and femininity. People that identify as one or more of those labels generally feel like it is an integral part of them.


I thought you said labels were for self identification, not so you can advise people that they shouldn't pick one of those because people using them feel strongly about it

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Lauren
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lauren » 2015-05-20, 15:44

Like I told Bijlee, I can't tell her what or what not to identify as, I was trying to help her think about it on a different way that might be more helpful.

Either way it's still true, people usually use identity labels because using them is important to them. But people can not use labels and still have their identity to be very important to them.

Now would you please stop turning everything into a personal attack against me? It's getting old.
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lur » 2015-05-20, 19:05

The thing with "labels" is that sometimes you need the words to defend yourself or realize you're not some sort of monster like you've been taught.
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Sol Invictus » 2015-05-20, 22:50

Lauren wrote:Now would you please stop turning everything into a personal attack against me? It's getting old.

Everything? This was the first criticism on your actions and then because after everything we talked about you come across as a hypocrite advising Biljee to pick gender assigned at birth, because you feel being agender/genderless/genderqueer requires strong sense of belonging. Maybe don't interpret everything as a personal attack on you, pretty sure it's going to make your life whole lot stress free.

Lur wrote:The thing with "labels" is that sometimes you need the words to defend yourself or realize you're not some sort of monster like you've been taught.

Sure, what I have issue with is when you start teaching people what it means to be X and you can do that with any of these labels

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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lauren » 2015-05-20, 23:04

Sol Invictus wrote:Everything? This was the first criticism on your actions and then because after everything we talked about you come across as a hypocrite advising Biljee to pick gender assigned at birth, because you feel being agender/genderless/genderqueer requires strong sense of belonging.

I explicitly said to Bijlee that I can't tell her what to identify as. I already said that once to you too.

Maybe don't interpret everything as a personal attack on you, pretty sure it's going to make your life whole lot stress free.

To be honest that is a part of Borderline Personality Disorder.
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Re: Gender thread

Postby vijayjohn » 2015-05-20, 23:30

Lauren wrote:Now would you please stop turning everything into a personal attack against me? It's getting old.

Seconded.

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Re: Gender thread

Postby Sol Invictus » 2015-05-20, 23:31

Lauren wrote:
Sol Invictus wrote:Everything? This was the first criticism on your actions and then because after everything we talked about you come across as a hypocrite advising Biljee to pick gender assigned at birth, because you feel being agender/genderless/genderqueer requires strong sense of belonging.

I explicitly said to Bijlee that I can't tell her what to identify as. I already said that once to you too.

Yes, I know, but it doesn't change everything else you said.

Maybe don't interpret everything as a personal attack on you, pretty sure it's going to make your life whole lot stress free.

To be honest that is a part of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Okay, I am sorry, if you have it, but it is really not my fault and you can't expect every stranger on Internet to know how to be on your good side. What I said before was not intended to offend you and this thing here just really rubbed me the wrong way. It's about society in general and certain attitudes, not you on a very deep personal level, despite the fact that we are talking to each other

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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lauren » 2015-05-20, 23:40

I don't fucking know... I can never be certain of anything and often say and think things I don't really believe and often can't tell what I believe. So I don't know what to think anymore about the topic.
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lur » 2015-05-21, 10:05

Sol Invictus wrote:
Lur wrote:The thing with "labels" is that sometimes you need the words to defend yourself or realize you're not some sort of monster like you've been taught.

Sure, what I have issue with is when you start teaching people what it means to be X and you can do that with any of these labels

I don't understand what you mean.
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Sol Invictus » 2015-05-21, 10:20

Lur wrote:
Sol Invictus wrote:
Lur wrote:The thing with "labels" is that sometimes you need the words to defend yourself or realize you're not some sort of monster like you've been taught.

Sure, what I have issue with is when you start teaching people what it means to be X and you can do that with any of these labels

I don't understand what you mean.

Suppose it is important you that you're certain gender, you go around telling people how that's who you are, do things you think people of your gender do and what not, in other words live happily with your chosen identity. Now suppose somebody else has a view on what your gender is that differs from your view, so they start telling you that people of your gender must do that thing you don't and/or that maybe you're actually some other gender. Is that okay?

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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lur » 2015-05-21, 10:24

Nope. I mean, sometimes people have a helpful suggestion for a problem or might be reassuring you that something is not wrong when you're in a questioning situation, but what you say is generally just rude/transphobic/sexist/whatever.

When my therapist started doing that in several ways, I stopped going. The "people like you all ought to be the same" is really upsetting.
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Koko » 2015-05-21, 14:22

How do you say the title "Mx.?" (it's the gender-neutral title on the page Lauren linked to in the first post)

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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lauren » 2015-05-21, 16:57

It's /mɪks/ or /mʌks/. :)
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Re: Gender thread

Postby Lur » 2015-05-21, 19:53

I'm having real trouble finding other trans women here :(
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