Help me with a translation

Fabiano
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Help me with a translation

Postby Fabiano » 2015-03-02, 14:27

Hello there,

can someone tell me if this translation I did of a text originally written in Romanian is accurate and understandable enough?

Obviously, the answer must come from someone with a understanding of both languages:

Nu mă asemui profeților, pentrucă mie nici chiar petrile cu care au fost răsplătiți, nu mi se vir da. Predic in deșert totuși, pentrucă pustiul e aici înlauntrul meu, și mersul vorbelor va trece prin mine ca răcoarea serii în lunile de vară, lăsand un inceput de alinare și promisiune veșnic neîmplinită.

Pe marginea lor au trecut sau vor trece mereu nopți de turburare, de nedumerire și de speranțe. Ar fi mai bine dacă nici chiar predicătorul n'ar asculta la glasul său ci numai luminile și întunecimile văzduhului ar prinde înțelesul și l-ar purta peste tot ca pe aburii neíncepuți ai ploii până când undeva, cândva, vor pogori vorbele prefăcute în binecuvântare peste câmpiile arse de secetă.


(Nicolae Petra, Simplă Învăţătură, 1960)

Translation: I do not compare to the prophets, because not even stones will be given me as a reward. I preach in the desert, however, because the desert is here, inside of me, and the path of words will pass through me like an evening breeze in summer months, leaving me a principle of relief and of a promise eternally unfulfilled.

I have passed and will always pass nights of torment on the verge (of things), nights of insomnia and hope. It would be better if not even the preacher heard his own voice, but only the lights and darkness of the air would have an understanding of it, and would take it everywhere, like infant vapours would rain somewhere, anywhere, words turned into a blessing would go down through camps burned by drought.

Worthy corrections would be welcome!

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Levike
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Re: Help me with a translation

Postby Levike » 2015-03-03, 21:10

pentru că mie nici chiar petrile cu care au fost răsplătiți, nu mi se vir da
because even the stones that they have been reworded with, won't be given to me.

Pe marginea lor au trecut sau vor trece mereu nopți de turburare, de nedumerire și de speranțe.
On their verge have passed and will always pass nights of unrest, of perplexity and of hopes.

turburare = unrest, being troubled (torment is a bit too harsh)
nedumerit = puzzled about something

ca pe aburii neíncepuți ai ploii până când undeva, cândva, vor pogori vorbele prefăcute în binecuvântare peste câmpiile arse de secetă.
like infant vapours of rain until somewhere, sometime, words turned into a blessing would go down through camps burned by drought.

ai ploii = of rain
ar ploua = would rain

One more thing:
Either you made some spelling mistakes or the writer didn't really care about standard Romanian.
Nem egy nap alatt épült Buda vára.

Fabiano
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Real Name: Fabiano Lourenço
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Re: Help me with a translation

Postby Fabiano » 2015-03-03, 23:52

Salut!

Well, this book was published in Mexico in 1960. Probably the spelling rules were different back then. Anyway, with the corrections you made, I think the English version will become more understandable.

Btw, I can read Romanian quite well, however, this text is particularly difficult for me to understand. Did you, as a native speaker, have any difficulty in understanding it?

Mulțumesc!

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Levike
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Re: Help me with a translation

Postby Levike » 2015-03-09, 22:48

No, not really, but we studied a lot of texts like this in high-school so that's probably why.

Although this is a text I would call "overly decorated".
Nem egy nap alatt épült Buda vára.


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