Ooh, ooh, let me try!
Also, that' an oddly specific set of prompts, but I'll just ignore that.
I am the pencil that you use for pointless shapes you'll throw away anyway. I am the pen that often fails to leave ink on the page. I am the mayan calendar that drives people to both inspiration and madness. I am the webcam that never gets used. I am a username that's long and that most people don't get the joke for. I am a cellphone, every day further outdated. I am a Zack Morris phone that is
a Zack Morris phone. Same for the Trans-am (yes, the Trans-am is
a Zack Morris phone). I am the keypad on a Windows Surface, forever striving for greatness but always stuck with the out-of-touch and the hipsters. I am a messaging app that's basically the same as every other messaging app. I am a messenger bag that burst open when someone tried to cram too much crap into it. I am the loose change they won't ever accept at the bank. I am a colored pencil that is
a Zack Morris phone. I am the bathroom print that no matter how hard you look on Google, you can't find what a bathroom print is. I am an IKEA desk that is easy to put together even if you don't know who Kärpågör is or how to understand Swedish. I am the hardwood cherry floor that is
a Zack Morris phone. I am the diaper disposal unit that was purposefully defective as part of a conspiracy to get the company president to resign in order for him to appear at a campaign event to trip over the candidate, thus causing a scandal. I am a list of lists, creating listception. I am a water buffalo, because why not? I am that one creepy guy who follows you everywhere because he's not sure where you got that scarf. I am a person that observes that a hardwood cherry floor is really specific already without being able to see the meaning behind it. I am the Chuck Norris that is
a Zack Morris phone. I am the commenter who went waaaayyy off-script. I am the keymaster. I am the guy in the middle of the street when the band was playing that one day. I am the song never sung. I am the bell never rung. I would like it in a box. I would like it with a fox. I am the library machine. I am the much-too-trusting dean. I am...
some guy in Denver.
Well, that was a thing.
want to learn: [flag=]fo[/flag][flag=]be[/flag][flag=]ko[/flag][flag=]he[/flag][flag=]sw[/flag][flag=]hi[/flag][flag=]tr[/flag][flag=]nl[/flag][flag=]cy[/flag][flag=]hu[/flag]