[Game] Creating sentences

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2018-05-21, 21:25

azhong wrote:(The Mirror is honest on theses rewards from time.)

"Theses" is the plural of thesis.
I suppose you're using "reward" ironically here. If you meant to produce a jarring effect, you succeeded.
azhong wrote:She is a prick upon my heart. I shall pick it off this time, by myself.

"A prick" is an action. It can be produced by a variety of physical objects, but it is not itself something which can be "picked off".

france-eesti wrote:If you have no idea what it is, pick it up and watch it through the microscope.

Prefer "look at" or "examine".
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-05-23, 22:36

When I was a seventh grader, I learned the compound microscope in a biology class for the first time. The observed image, said my teacher, would be magnified and inverted.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-06-26, 11:10

When I came to visit her, I found her inverting the curtains, and no matter how much I questionned her, she never gave me a reason for that.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2018-06-26, 17:21

'Nothing Else Matters' is a great song from a damn good album.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-06-29, 9:59

There's more to life than "Breakfast in America", but I gotta say this album is a very, very good one.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-07-01, 7:04

“Just a single slice of bread, with nothing on, is already making too rich my breakfast.” said she, her lean fingers waving before her face, a teenager’s one, upon which the cheeks were far from chubby. “I'm not slender yet.”

“Indeed not, as a skeleton goes.” said her brother, who, sitting at the opposite of the table, two or three years older and firm like a peasant, was spreading more strips of fried bacons on his bread having been covered with a layer of butter and then a sunny egg.
Last edited by azhong on 2018-07-02, 12:58, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-07-02, 8:41

(that's exactly true for me now) :shock:

Look at those cute, chubby cheeks, isn't she the most adorable baby girl ever?
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2018-07-02, 14:34

azhong wrote:When I was a seventh grader, I learned to use the compound microscope in a biology class for the first time. The observed image, said my teacher, would be magnified and inverted.

azhong wrote:“Just a single slice of bread, with nothing on, is already making for too rich my a breakfast,” said she, her lean fingers waving before her face, a teenager’s one, upon which the cheeks were far from chubby. “I'm not slender yet.”

“Indeed not, as a skeleton goes,” said her brother, who, sitting at the opposite of the tableher, two or three years older and firm like a peasant, was spreading more strips of fried bacons on his bread having, which had been covered with a layer of butter and then a sunny-side-up egg.

"two or three years older and firm like a peasant" is a misplaced modifier in this sentence since it seems to modify "table" rather than "brother". Stylistic, it works better to say: "...her brother, two or three years older and firm like a peasant, who was sitting opposite her and laying more strips..."

Cultural note: In the UK, bacon is divided into "streaky bacon", which is always fried and "loin bacon" or just "bacon", which may be fried or boiled. In the USA, "bacon" always indicates streaky bacon. Since you say "strips", I imagine you're picturing streaky bacon, in which case "fried" is unnecessary in US English and "streaky" is a better qualifier in UK English.

Similarly, the default fried egg in the Anglosphere is sunny-side up, so I would say "fried egg" or even just "egg" (since it would be unusual to put an egg cooked some either way on bread). Wiktionary says "sunny" alone can be used to mean "sunny-side up", but I have literally never heard this anywhere.

Finally, "bread" is unusual here since the bread would normally be toasted and referred to as "toast". But maybe her brother has unusual habits.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-07-04, 14:17

Cute? Well...perhaps he is, to most of us...yet, to me personally he's too cute a man, too naive an adult, I mean, his demeanor acting like a teenager. In fact, even just his childish smile surfacing in my brain now is forthwith making for so disgusting an impression that I am feeling like...vomiting. And so I'm making for keeping a trifle of distance from him--But, I don't know, whom on earth are we gossiping about?

(Ref. S1: … Verdurin would protest ... that it made too violent an impression.)
(Ref. S2: A single slice of bread is already making for [=tending toward] too rich a breakfast.)

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-07-06, 14:01

Yes, witnessing someone vomiting is always making this effect on me - no doubt about it, I'd suck, big time, as a geriatric nurse.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2018-07-06, 16:39

france-eesti wrote:Yes, witnessing someone vomiting is always having [better: always has] this effect on me - no doubt about it, I'd suck, big time, as a geriatric nurse.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2018-07-08, 7:32

Many people think that unicorns suck but I think they would change their mind after seeing one in the forest.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-07-09, 14:24

I remember, but my memory is vague for it has been years since I last read the novel, unicorns they are, those beasts narrated in Hard-Boiled Wonderland And The End Of The World, written by Haruki Murakami, who sets them also having a horn in the middle of their foreheads. They are, however, more like sheep, flocking together, tame and silent, and in the area they live having a special, poetic function, which I do not plan to reveal. And of their hairs the colors, no matter what ones each beast originally having, will all change into spotless blond in winter.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2018-07-09, 14:35

azhong wrote:I remember, but my memory is vague for it has been years since I last read the novel, unicorns they are, those beasts narratedtold about in Hard-Boiled Wonderland And The End Of The World, written by Haruki Murakami, who also sets them alsodescribes them as having a horn in the middle of their foreheads. They are, however, more like sheep, flocking together, tame and silent, and in the area they live having a special, poetic function, which I do not plan to reveal. And of their hairs the colors, no matter what ones each beast originally having, will all change into spotless blond in winter.

I know you're trying for an elevated poetic register here, but even for that, this last sentence is super awkward. I would rewrite the underlined part completely: "And the colour of their hair, regardless what each beast might have had originally, becomes spotless blond in winter."
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-07-10, 8:46

Although there was this vague similarity with my brother, I couldn't say where I had met this guy before - and it increased the overwhelming feeling of anguish that was already invading me.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2018-07-11, 15:29

After a big investigation, the police inspector implicates Mr. X in the bank robbery because of the overwhelming evidence against him.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-07-12, 14:03

He, who broke the jail months ago and was now buckling down to freeing himself from the police inspector who was close chasing after, who had been persistently tracing his quarry and had almost succeeded in arresting him quarters ago with police ambush surrounding the criminal’s hiding place. Under the shielding of the night gloom, pervading even more heavily now, the wanted fled into the area of crooked lanes and alleys of complexity, unfamiliar to him and, fortunately, also to the inspector, and then escaped in time after turing over a dark corner by scaling over a high wall, behind which he didn't know was a convent.
Last edited by azhong on 2018-07-13, 4:44, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-07-12, 18:00

Please press the Escape button if you want to go back to normal displaying and don't forget to change your password every two months, just as you'd do with your toothbrush.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby Osias » 2018-07-13, 0:49

My toothbrush is in love with my eyeglasses.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-07-13, 6:03

Please would you stop wiping your eyeglasses with dirty hankies - this will only make them dirtier!
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