[Game] Creating sentences

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azhong
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2019-12-25, 17:08

First, I want to say "hello" to Dormouse for seeing you again after quite a long time of my absence here, and also say "thank you" for your language help to us all, which we all know is very time-consuming. You are so nice. Thank you.

And next, I want to say to Osias that I've found no upon in your passage, the assigned keyword. However, I've also noticed that your passage is composed with simple sentences and thus shows a very special style. It reminds me of the work of Earnest Hemingway, an American male novelist with vivid character.
Finally, I want to say to all, whoever read this, merry Christmas! (Or what else can I say on December the 25th?)

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby Osias » 2019-12-25, 17:45

I was not playing the game. I was trying to explain why the corrections for my texts were mistaken. I used short sentences without "that" to avoid the ambiguity that caused those mistakes.
2017 est l'année du (fr) et de l'(de) pour moi. Parle avec moi en eux, s'il te plait.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby Dormouse559 » 2019-12-26, 4:42

Osias wrote:I once read a comic book called Horus, Lord of the Light. The comic book was a parody of Marvel's Thor. The comic book had this guy, Horus. Horus was a character. Horus had to steer the solar system. The book was based on the Egyptian mythology. Loosely. Just like Marvel's Thor is "based" on Norse mythology.

Ah. "Such a character".

azhong wrote:First, I want to say "hello" to Dormouse for seeing you again after quite a long time of my absence here, and also say "thank you" for your language help to us all, which we all know is very time-consuming. You are so nice. Thank you.
No problem :) Merry Christmas!
N'hésite pas à corriger mes erreurs.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby Synalepha » 2019-12-27, 8:40

The apse was devided from the rest of the temple by a piebald netting of taffeta and macrame, decorated with a vivid paisley. Lugubrious guards in black cuirasses and white cowls were watching the entrance to it. Archibald approched them and once he was in front of them, he took his satchel and extracted a bunch of groundsel flowers, a frond of maidenhair fern and some asafoetida powder to be burned in a thurible in honor of the God. The guards understood his intentions and let him in. The high priest's vestments were very similar to the Catholic ones: he was dressed in a chasuble-like robe, around his waist he had a cincture, on his head a luxurious miter and on his shoulders a white amice.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2019-12-28, 6:44

The king was feeling well as he leaned back in his luxurious chair, and looked through the frozen window at the beautiful landscapes from the comfort of his warm home.
Please correct my mistakes. I'd really appreciate it ❤

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2019-12-28, 15:08

The bright moonlight, from the sky and from the reflection of the silver ground, shone in through the craked window. The window pane, decorated by nature with snow, was fastened by man with strings of tapes. There was no fire in the room; he wrapped himself with whatever all he could get. He heard a flow of brisk laughters from his neighbor's house. The
happy children in a happy family. And he felt hungry again when smelling their dinner. Steak, it smelled like, he guessed. And another flavor followed, which smelled like...like some food that he had never tasted. He then began trying to name the unfamiliar dish.It should be a foreign name, he thought, as he kept staring at the moonlit silver world outside and imagined the dish of Italian.
Last edited by azhong on 2019-12-29, 6:37, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2019-12-29, 5:21

It was a moonlit night full of stars as the couple in love danced in the meadow to a song that only they could hear.
Please correct my mistakes. I'd really appreciate it ❤

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2019-12-30, 14:25

Getting my life back again on board, sea wind blowing, sails flipping and seagulls hovering, all my spleen seemed to be driven off. I couldn't but begin a few dancing steps. I danced along on deck and greeted every acquaintance and stranger I met with broad smiles.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2019-12-31, 4:08

The audience held their breath as the magician made his assistant hover in mid-air while he passed hoops around her.
Please correct my mistakes. I'd really appreciate it ❤

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2019-12-31, 14:41

In the unlikely case I'm away when you call, my assistant will be able to tell you what I need and the papers that are usually required to complete the file.
(fr) Native - (en) Fluentish - (pt) Fluentish when I was younger - (ro) & (mg) Wanderlusting (hu) My current addiction - crazy about it! (nagy függő vagyok!)

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2019-12-31, 17:28

Very unlikely but it happened that I met my college mate on my vacational trip in Swess as he was on his, too. I was then sitting under a tree for some rest while my wife was taking photos, and surprisingly I heard some voice from behind me call me by my Chinese name!

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2020-01-03, 9:55

A voice, you're telling me you can hear a voice that no one else can hear, and thus you expect me to believe it comes from a Basilic that moves through pipes and will petrify Muggle students?

(sorry... Couldn't stop myself) :whistle:
(fr) Native - (en) Fluentish - (pt) Fluentish when I was younger - (ro) & (mg) Wanderlusting (hu) My current addiction - crazy about it! (nagy függő vagyok!)

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2020-01-03, 11:56

For a big celebration all Indian tribes came together, they celebrated all day long, singing and dancing, and all sat around a campfire smoking a peace pipe with one another.
Please correct my mistakes. I'd really appreciate it ❤

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2020-01-03, 12:52

Come over, my dear friends, and round the campfire together, which has been blazing fiercely. Look at you, look at me, and do you hear our laughters crack upon the flame?

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2020-01-03, 15:37

Osias wrote:The book was based on the Egyptian mythology.


azhong wrote:Finally, I want to say to all, whoever read this, merry Christmas!

"whoever is reading this" or "whoever may read this" sounds more idiomatic.

Synalepha wrote:The apse was divided from the rest of the temple by a piebald netting of taffeta and macrame, decorated with a vivid paisley. Lugubrious guards in black cuirasses and white cowls were watching the entrance (to it). Archibald approached them and once he was in front of them...


azhong wrote:The bright moonlight, from the sky and from the reflection of the silver ground, shone in through the cracked window. The window pane, decorated by nature with snow, was fastened by man with stringsstrips of tapes. There was no fire in the room; he wrapped himself within whatever all he could get. He heard a flow of brisk laughters from his neighbor's house. The happy children in a happy family....It should be a foreign name, he thought, as he kept staring at the moonlit silver world outside and imagined the dish of Italy.


azhong wrote:Very unlikely but it happened that I met my college mate on my vacational trip in Swessvacation in Switzerland as he was on his, too.


france-eesti wrote:A voice, you're telling me you can hear a voice that no one else can hear, and thus you expect me to believe it comes from a Basilisk that moves through pipes and will petrify Muggle students?


azhong wrote:Come over, my dear friends, and surround the campfire together, which has been blazing fiercely. Look at you, look at me, and do you hear our laughters crack upon the flame?

"Laughter" is a mass noun in English; it cannot be pluralised. Measure words for it include "gale", "peal", and "burst".
"Richmond is a real scholar; Owen just learns languages because he can't bear not to know what other people are saying."--Margaret Lattimore on her two sons

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2020-01-04, 8:00

The wolf stared at Little Red Riding Hood with a fierce look in its eyes as he rubbed the back of its head. "Ah... the script says I have to eat you. So please stop fighting and stop hitting me with the red wine bottle."
Please correct my mistakes. I'd really appreciate it ❤

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2020-01-05, 0:52

linguoboy wrote:

(Hello and thank you, stranger. How are you doing? Good luck everyday in 2020!)

In this clear morning, after saying good-bye to his mother (but rejecting her kisses), the Little Red Riding Hood departed alone excitedly, with a full basket of fresh bread, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, fresh cheese, fresh red wine, fresh this and fresh that. That was a gift for his strong grandfather, who, living alone in the other side of the forest, still had lots of labour work everyday.
"I know I'll be a target for wolves.But I'll show them my toughness and let them know what's inside my red riding hood."

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2020-01-05, 6:13

The man run as fast as he could, almost stumbled as he collided with a young woman but the bus departed the station before he even get close to it.
Please correct my mistakes. I'd really appreciate it ❤

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2020-01-06, 15:11

From under the dining table their pet, a young golden hound, lurched out, over which their pre-school kid tripped and, were it not that the kid's father acted in time, would have collided with a dining chair.
Last edited by azhong on 2020-01-06, 15:49, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2020-01-06, 15:42

tiuwiu wrote:The wolf stared at Little Red Riding Hood with a fierce look in its eyes as he rubbed the back of its head.

This isn't a grammatical error so much as a stylistic one, but you should be consistent in your choice of pronoun. You're personifying the wolf, so "he" and "his" sounds better than "it" and "its".

azhong wrote:InOn this clear morning, after saying good-bye to his mother (but rejecting her kisses), the Little Red Riding Hood departed alone excitedly, with a full basket of fresh bread, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, fresh cheese, fresh red wine, fresh this and fresh that. That was a gift for his strong grandfather, who, living alone in the other side of the forest, still had lots of labour work everyday.

"Labour" and "work" are synonyms; you don't need both.

I guess "that" is supposed to refer back to "basket" but it sounds odd after you've listed out the contents like that. I would say "These were gifts" or even "This was all a gift" to make clear that you're referring to the entire contents of the basket.

tiuwiu wrote:The man runran as fast as he could and almost stumbled as he collided with a young woman but the bus departed the station before he even get close to it.


azhong wrote:From under the dining table their pet, a young golden hound, lurched out, over which their about one-year-old kid tripped and, were it not that the young father responded in time, would have collided with a dining chair.

Trying to cram this all into a single sentence makes for some bad-sounding prose. But if that's your goal, here's how I would rephrase it: "From under the dining table, their young golden hound lurched out, tripping their nearly one year-old child, who, were it not for the young father's quick response, would have collided with a dining chair ." But it sounds better to make this two sentences. (You don't need to specify that the hound is a pet--that's clear from context--and "kid" sounds too informal when the rest of the diction is so formal.)
"Richmond is a real scholar; Owen just learns languages because he can't bear not to know what other people are saying."--Margaret Lattimore on her two sons


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