[Game] Creating sentences

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tiuwiu
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2018-07-13, 7:42

france-eesti wrote:Please would you stop wiping your eyeglasses with dirty hankies - this will only make them dirtier!



There are no dirty hankies in my household :hmpf:

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-07-14, 13:43

One day, Mr. Swann suddenly ceased to come, without any previous warnings nor after explanations, to the house for dinner, which he had frequented, almost every evening.The hostess even started wondering if he was ill and ready to send to inquire for him when, by accident, she found in the kitchen a letter in his hand, which announced he was leaving Paris and would not be able to come again. The message was not send to the host but, instead, to his cook, who we hence knew was his mistress, the only one among this household whom he had thought it necessary to inform.

( Ref.: Suddenly, and without any warning, he ceased to appear. They supposed him to be ill, and the lady of the house was going to send to inquire for him when, in her kitchen, she found a letter in his hand, which her cook had left by accident in the housekeeping book. In this he announced that he was leaving Paris and would not be able to come to the house again. The cook had been his mistress, and at the moment of breaking off relations she was the only one of the household whom he had thought it necessary to inform.)

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2018-07-22, 5:55

When they dimmed the lights, the background noise in the theatre ceased immediately.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-07-22, 7:23

It was the first time I saw my father playing a part in a theater play and I gotta say it came as a shock to me.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2018-07-22, 11:31

I was shocked when I saw a monkey steal a stuffed monkey out of a boy's backpack.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby Dormouse559 » 2018-07-24, 16:52

azhong wrote:He, who had broken the out of jail months ago and was now buckling down to freeing himself from the police inspector who was close chasing close after, who had been persistently tracing his quarry and had almost succeeded in arresting him quarters ago with a police ambush surrounding at the criminal’s hiding place. Under the shielding cover of the night gloom, pervading even more heavily now, the wanted man fled into the area of crooked lanes and alleys of complexity, unfamiliar to him and, fortunately, also to the inspector, and then escaped just in time after turning over a dark corner by scaling over a high wall, behind which he didn't know , unbeknownst to him, was a convent.

The first sentence is incomplete. It needs at least a verb connected to "he". Also, "he" should probably be replaced with a noun, like "the criminal", perhaps, or the man's name.

quarters ago - "Quarter" as a unit of time is usually a division of the fiscal year. Stock traders use it. If you meant a quarter of a year, I'd just say "months ago".

A stylistic issue with this text is that you're trying to squeeze a lot of modifiers into just a few sentences. It's difficult to grasp what's actually happening.

france-eesti wrote:Please press the Escape button if you want to go back to the normal displaying (or "back to normal display mode"), and don't forget to change your password every two months, just as you'd do with your toothbrush.


azhong wrote:One day, without any previous warnings or explanations, Mr. Swann suddenly ceased to come, without any previous warnings nor after explanations, to the house for dinner, as he had been doing almost every evening. The hostess even started wondering if he was ill and was ready to send to inquire for him when, by accident, she found in the kitchen a letter in his hand, which announced he was leaving Paris and would not be able to come again. The message was not send addressed to the host but, instead, to his cook, who we hence knew found out was his mistress, the only one among in this household whom he had thought it necessary to inform.

"Hostess" and "host" don't work for me here. Nowadays, they usually refer to a person who runs an event or party. "His hostess" and "his host" get closer to what I imagine you intended, which is someone who receives a guest.

france-eesti wrote:It was the first time I saw my father playing a part in a theater play and I gotta say it came as a shock to me.

"Playing a part in a play" sounds repetitive, so you could just say "It was the first time I saw my father in a play".

tiuwiu wrote:I was shocked when I saw a monkey steal a stuffed monkey out of a boy's backpack.

The zipper fell off my backpack after just a month, but I guess you get what you pay for.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-07-24, 17:51

Hey guess what - every man has the right to decide his own destiny... Even in Zimbabwe!
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2018-07-25, 6:14

Most people who start the day by reading their horoscope in the local paper doing it out of habit but some people doing it to learn more about their destiny or fate.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-07-27, 15:20

As a police inspector with enthusiasm, Sam had been all these months perseveringly tracing the criminal since after the latter’s breakjail. On this off day, Sam went on a trip with family and, when having lunch in a suburban McDonald's, saw his quarry also enter to forage. It was a coincidence arranged by the Goddess of Destiny, who bestowed a gift upon the hound of justices while played a trick upon the rat of crimes; it leaded afterwards to a police ambush days later at where the criminal hid.
The next day’s local papers all reported the arrest at the front page with a big headline.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2018-07-27, 15:29

tiuwiu wrote:Most people who start the day by reading their horoscope in the local paper doing it out of habit but some people doing it to learn more about their destiny or fate.

azhong wrote:As a police inspector with enthusiasm, Sam had been all these months perserveringly tracing the criminal since after the latter’s breakjailjailbreak. On this off dayday off, Sam went on a trip with his family. and, When having lunch in a suburban McDonald's, he saw his quarry also enter to forage. It was a coincidence arranged by the Goddess of Destiny, who bestowed a gift upon the hound of justices while playeding a trick upon the rat of crimes; it leadedledafterwards to a police ambush days later at the place where the criminal was hiding. The next day’s local papers all reported the arrest aton the front page with a big headline.
"Richmond is a real scholar; Owen just learns languages because he can't bear not to know what other people are saying."--Margaret Lattimore on her two sons

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-08-04, 11:37

As she arranged layer after layer of boxes, I couldn't help wondering how she could make it through the day, every day?
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby tiuwiu » 2018-08-05, 13:12

Some bakers are trying to get into the Guiness Book of Records by baking the largest layer cake in the world.

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby france-eesti » 2018-08-05, 17:29

Ma Baker, she taught her four sons, to handle their guns...

(sorry, couldn't help it) :oops: :oops:
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2018-08-06, 14:54

tiuwiu wrote:Some bakers are trying to get into the Guinness Book of Records by baking the largest layer cake in the world.

france-eesti wrote:Ma Baker, she taught her four sons, to handle their guns...
"Richmond is a real scholar; Owen just learns languages because he can't bear not to know what other people are saying."--Margaret Lattimore on her two sons

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-08-07, 13:32

The hallway is large. The floor is of stone, and the carpet spreading on is magnificent. Doors are all made of heavy wood, all with bronze handles. The marble mantelpiece is sumptuously constructed, and the mirror surmounted is gilded. And diamond-paned windows. Outside, an ornate fountain playing. A driveway straight and wide, along it the yew hedge high and well manicured. And a pair of gates of wrought-iron, the baroque style impressive -- Well, not bad, reluctantly acceptable, Lucius’s manor house. What is the price he's asking for?
(Most vocabularies are borrowed from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.)

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2018-08-07, 14:43

azhong wrote:The hallway is large. The floor is of stone, and the carpet spreading on is magnificent. The doors are all made of heavy wood, all with bronze handles. The marble mantelpiece is sumptuously constructed, and the mirror surmounted[1] is gilded. And diamond-paned windows.[2] Outside, an ornate fountain playing. A driveway straight and wide, along it the yew hedge high and well manicured. And a pair of gates of wrought-iron, the baroque style impressive -- well, not bad, reluctantly[3] acceptable. Lucius’s manor house. What is the price he's asking for it?
(Most vocabulariesy words are borrowed from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.)

[1] This used of "surmounted" is very, very elevated. I would prefer "surmounting it" or "mounted on it".
[2] A very clumsy fragment. "The windows are diamond-paned" reads better.
[3] Awkward. I guess you're trying to adjectivise "I would accept it with reluctance"? If you want to express a sort of ironic understatement, I might say, "Marginally acceptable".
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby Osias » 2018-08-07, 15:03

The Magnificent Seven were killed by the Fantastic Four.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby Dormouse559 » 2018-08-07, 15:31

azhong wrote:The floor is of stone, and the carpet spread upon it / spread out on it is magnificent.


Osias wrote:The Magnificent Seven were killed by the Fantastic Four.

The Ancient Greeks believed in the four elements, along with a fifth called aether.
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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby azhong » 2018-08-09, 14:47

I believe the jailbreaker has managed to flee away from the police ambush, although which happened scarcely an hour ago and the police have not yet given it up -- try my layer cake, please. It's made with a special recipe -- he probably jumped downward from the back balcony upstairs, then sneaked away by the dark alley. This alley goes off into so many others which creep crookedly, which connect one another and form a complex net. An ancient area like this does preserve culture, but is as well a good nest of crimes -- wanna some avocado? Ever try blending it with yogurt?

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Re: [Game] Creating sentences

Postby linguoboy » 2018-08-09, 14:54

azhong wrote:I believe the jailbreaker has managed to flee away from the police ambush, although whichthat happened scarcely an hour ago and the police have not yet given it up -- try my layer cake, please. It's made with a special recipe -- he probably jumped downward from the back balcony (upstairs), then sneaked away bythrough the dark alley. This alley goes off into so many others which creep crookedly, which connect to one another and form a complex net. An ancient area like this does preserve culture, but is as well a good nest of crimes[*] -- want some avocado? Ever try blending it with yogurt?

[*] Perhaps "a breeding ground for crime"?

"wanna" is a colloquial contraction of "want to". *"Want to some avocado" is ungrammatical.
"Richmond is a real scholar; Owen just learns languages because he can't bear not to know what other people are saying."--Margaret Lattimore on her two sons


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