In wonderful savageness live the nation of the Fenni(1), and in beastly poverty, destitute of arms(2), of horses, and of homes; their food, the common herbs(3); their apparel(4), skins; their bed(5), the earth; their only(6) hope in their arrows, which for want of iron(7) they point with bones.
1) The pronunciation of Fenni is very odd. It sounds almost like you're saying "Ferni" or inserting a glottal stop between /ɛ/ and /n/.
2) There needs to be a longer pause preceded by a definite terminal fall on of arms, because otherwise it sounds like "destitute of arms of horses".
3) You're going for UK English, right? Because otherwise the h is silent.
4) This word was unrecognisable. At first I thought you were saying "April".
5) The vowel should be [ɛ]. Yours is much to close here, virtually identical to [e].
6) I here own, not only. You appear to be swallowing the entire second syllable.
7) /ai/ is tricky; there is considerable dialectal variation in realisations. Whatever you're using here sounds way too high and back--more like /ɔi/. That's acceptable in some varieties (e.g. Irish English) but awkward and confusing elsewhere.
"Richmond is a real scholar; Owen just learns languages because he can't bear not to know what other people are saying."--Margaret Lattimore on her two sons