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Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-06-13, 17:11
by linguoboy
azhong wrote:The connotation of my father's head image, being despotic and stubborn, was just so ostensibly.

Very awkward. Here's my suggestion of a more fluid translation: "The implied despotism and stubbornness of my father's visage was only apparent."

azhong wrote:He was actually very kind in the later years of his life and, more often than not, stayed fragile and anxious. The reason he chose that style of his hair and mustache--marked contrasting markedly to each other--was indeed a puzzle.

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-06-13, 17:40
by azhong
To make sure, compared to connotate and ostensible, imply and apparent are the respective equivelents which are not so literary and unusual, and are thus preferred?

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-06-13, 17:53
by linguoboy
azhong wrote:To make sure, compared to connotate and ostensible, imply and apparent are the respective equivalents which are not so literary and unusual, and are thus preferred?

I couldn't find any examples of 意含 being translated as "connotation", only as "implication", and it's rare to find ostensible used predicatively. So it's not a question of being too "literary" (since I think we've established that the register of the original text is quite literary) but both are somewhat unusual in their respective contexts.

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-06-13, 18:04
by azhong
But isn't connotation a synonym of implication, and ostensible, apparent?

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-06-13, 18:09
by linguoboy
azhong wrote:But isn't connotation a synonym of implication, and ostensible, apparent?

There are no true synonyms in English.

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-06-13, 18:12
by azhong
Oh, you mean I can say
It's just ostensible despotism
but I can't say
The despotism is just ostensible
for the grammatical usage of ostensible.
Are you telling me that? Predicatively?

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-06-13, 19:25
by linguoboy
azhong wrote:Oh, you mean I can say
It's just ostensible despotism
but I can't say
The despotism is just ostensible
for the grammatical usage of ostensible.
Are you telling me that? Predicatively?

No, that's not what I'm saying.

Perhaps I've misjudged your level of English and I should simply confine myself to correcting grammar and not worry about diction, stylistics, or register.

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-06-14, 2:09
by azhong
Yrs, perhaps.

I thank you for your help anyway. Whatever help you have been providing, I have been appreciating very much.

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-07-26, 5:17
by azhong
Below, I've translated one of my (Chinese) sentence into English, just as my language practice. Can you please have a look and give some grammatical or stylistic corrections if needed? Thank you in advance.

For those three years I bought your bao, not even once did I ever thought of, not at all even for just one second, giving a look on your face (long or short?), your eyes (with what motives and variations), or your smiles (major or minor, allegro or largo).

買您的包子那三年
一次也無,我從未想過
端詳端詳,就一秒鐘也好
您臉孔是短是長,您眼神
有什麼動機,什麼變奏
您的笑容大調小調,快板或慢板

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-07-26, 17:24
by linguoboy
azhong wrote:For those three years I bought your bao, not even once did I ever thoughtthink of--not at all even for just one second--taking a look onat your face (Is it long or short?), your eyes (with What motives, what variations?), or your smiles (Major or minor, allegro or largo?).

1. The alternations here sound better to me as questions; the speaker hasn't ever looked at the person's face so they're speculating on what qualities it might exhibit.
2. The Chinese diction strikes me as rather formal and poetic, so you could use more formal and poetic English equivalents, e.g. "gaze upon your face" for "take a look at your face".

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Posted: 2019-07-27, 4:17
by azhong
Thank you very much, linguoboy.