Azhong's Writing Practice.

[azhong]

(My practice, by rewriting a previous passage.)
Charlie kept running as fast as he could with his entire efforts, the sharp stones pricking his bare feet. He was half-naked while it was a frigid winter night, but his only desire was to free himself from the police inspector. Charlie had broken out of jail months ago, and the inspector, having been tracing his quarry, had almost succeeded with a police ambush where Charlie hid scarcely an hour ago, a violent arrest that had near residents shuddered. Covered with the gloomy night, however, Charlie had slipped through the police’s round-up, a narrow escape. And now the gloom was pervading more heavily in these crooked lanes and alleys, a straggling layout unfamiliar to Charlie and, luckily, also to the inspector chasing close after. Rounding a dark corner, Charlie scaled a high wall with efforts but agility; then, repressing his shudder, he listened to the sound of chasing steps, which approached, passed and then fade away. Charlie felt a bit relieved for now, but in the wall, unbeknownst to him, was a convert.

[Linguaphile]

She would have screamed out but (that) she realized it in time.
She would have screamed out but for her realization in time.

These two do not sound natural in my dialect of English. For the first one, I would leave out "that".
For the second one, it doesn't sound natural to me to use "in time" (which normally functions as an adverbial phrase) to describe a noun (realization). I suspect that other English-speakers might say that it sounds fine, though.

She would have called if she had not happened to forget to bring the cell phone with her.
She would have called had she not happened to forget to bring the cell phone with her.
She would have called but she happened to forget to bring the cell phone with her.[/list]
I can make it clearer by leaving out the "double negative" (I do not know how to name it correctly):
She would have called if she had brought the cell phone with her.

Yes, this set is fine.

The doorkeeper grazes them on the meadow out of the high wall at day and summons them back in the wall again at nightfall, his horn sounding steadily in the air. Just like all the residents living in the wall that borders an area wherein they are comfortable but also caged, these unicorns also have a unique, poetic function, which I am not going to reveal. Regardless what color each beast might have had for its hair before autumn, all turns spotless blond in winter.

outside the high wall (not "out of")
inside the wall (not "in the wall")

(My practice, with an query, please: what's the differences between with and without the marked comma before a particle modifier below? Thank you in advance.)... The female swan was sitting on a huge nest, laying eggs; the cob was gliding around, guarding her.

It is correct with or without the commas. With the commas, the text flows more slowly, so it has the effect of emphasizing the descriptions. But it is a very small difference that has no effect on the meaning.

(My writing practice.)
One thing Tim occasionally did for fun on weekends was to have himself straggle along in an unfamiliar small town

Tim is walking alone, right? The verb straggle is usually used when the person being described is part of a larger group and is walking more slowly than the rest of the group or falls behind them for other reasons. (A person who ends up left behind in this way is called a straggler, and that word can also be used to describe people who arrive late, or just later than the others.)
So, if Tim is walking by himself and isn't late to anything, "straggle" is not the best verb to use here. Perhaps "wander"? It also seems unnecessary to say "to have himself...." In other words, rather than "One thing Tim occasionally did for fun on weekends was to have himself wander in an unfamiliar small town", it sounds better and more concise to say "One thing Tim occasionally did for fun on weekends was to wander in an unfamiliar small town".

Dressing himself as unobtrusive as he could

People do say this, but "unobtrusively" is better (to describe a verb like "dressing himself", you should use an adverb like "unobtrusively", not an adjective like "unobtrusive"). But colloquially people do say it this way.

every of which was usually accompanied with a small vegetable garden

accompanied by (not "accompanied with")

He took his random turn at each junction until he naturally got lost;

He took a random turn

he would more traditionally inquired a person he met

With "inquired" you should say "inquired of" ("he inquired of a person he met"). If you use the verb "ask", then you do not need the word "of" ("he asked a person he met").
Also, "more traditionally" sounds unusual to me in this context. This is not the way a native English speaker would say this. I might say "normally he inquired of a person he met".

sometime more than one

sometimes

Despite a business head in the field of frontier technology with frequent international conference calls on weekdays,

Despite being a business head (or perhaps "despite being a business leader...")

Tim liked to have himself immersed in the pleasure of explosion

I think you mean "exploration" here. I hope.

(My practice, by rewriting a previous passage.)
Charlie kept running as fast as he could with his entire efforts, the sharp stones pricking his bare feet.

For "entire efforts", I'd say "with all his strength" or "with all his effort".

He was half-naked while it was a frigid winter night

Not incorrect, but unnatural. Better: "he was half-naked although it was a frigid winter night".
Your sentence just says that the two things happened at the same time. Using "although" emphasises that there is a contrast here (he is not dressed in a way that is appropriate for the weather).

a violent arrest that had near residents shuddered.

...had nearby residents shuttering.

he listened to the sound of chasing steps, which approached, passed and then fade away.

...and then faded away

Charlie felt a bit relieved for now, but in the wall, unbeknownst to him, was a convert.

I'm not sure what "in the wall was a convert" means. Is there someone on the other side of the wall who will find him and reveal his location to the police inspector? If so I'd say:
Charlie felt a bit relieved for now, but on the other side of the wall, unbeknownst to him, was an informer.

[azhong]

(omitted)

Thank you Linguaphile, with two simpler points unnecessary for me to study more going first.

1) Thanks for introducing to me shuttering. I guess what I need is shuddering?
…, a violent arrest that had near nearby residents shuddered shuttering.

2) It's convent, not convert. It’s a typo just like explosion (hahaha). BTW I love your plot, and thanks for your informer, another new term I can learn.
Charlie felt a bit relieved for now, but in the wall, unbeknownst to him, was a convert convent/ an informer.

I thank you for your lasting help, Linguaphile, very helpful. I also notice that you have lately changed your layout style. I just want to say any form is fine to me, and you can just choose the most efficient one to you. I am worrying you have been spending too much time for editing a easy-to-read layout for me. Don't do that for me if you are; I have bothered you quite enough.

[Linguaphile]

1) Thanks for introducing to me shuttering. I guess what I need is shuddering?

I didn't intend to change your verb, just the verb tense. Yes, it should be shuddering.

2) It's convent, not convert. It’s a typo just like explosion (hahaha). BTW I love your plot, and thanks for your informer, another new term I can learn.

I also notice that you have lately changed your layout style. I just want to say any form is fine to me, and you can just choose the most efficient one to you. I am worrying you have been spending too much time for editing a easy-to-read layout for me. Don't do that for me if you are; I have bothered you quite enough.

No, I just started doing it that way because it seemed easier for me, when I am responding to several posts at a time, which is what I've been doing lately (and what I'll probably continue to do). I was doing it that way for my own convenience, so don't worry that I'm spending a lot of time formatting it. I'm not.
Anyway you can see from my recommendation of shuttering yesterday that really I should spend a bit more time proofreading my own answers. But your post had explosions and a convert behind a wall, so I guess we're even now - we've both had typos that changed the meaning of what we wrote.

[azhong]

(See Linguaphile's quotation.)

[Linguaphile]

You are so modest but, as far as English is concerned, we are nowhere near even: you always the one to provide answers, which I always owe to you.
("I owe it to you" = I am grateful to you for what you have been providing?)

Despite being a business leader in the field of frontier technology...

Can’t being be omitted? I saw these examples in the dictionary:
I still enjoyed the week despite the weather.
She manages to stay cheerful despite everything.
Trains are still running, despite the snow.

No. It is because these are different kinds of sentences. "Despite" works best with a noun after it, but in your sentence, the portion that begins with "despite" is a dependent clause and "business leader" refers to Tim, in the next part of the sentence. We aren't saying "despite Tim," we are saying "despite Tim's being a business leader" (or "despite the fact that Tim was a business leader"). This is why it is different from your examples like "despite the weather" above.
It would actually be better to say "Despite the fact that he was a business leader in the field of frontier technology...." There you have both a noun after despite ("the fact") and a pronoun to connect it to Tim.

[azhong]

Are these four sentences grammatical and natural then, where I am confused with whether to preserve being or not? Thank you in advance for your reply.

The stone that was cut by John yesterday is being cut by Tom.
=>(S1)The stone being cut by John yesterday is being cut by Tom. ( without "being")
The stone that is being cut by Tom now was cut by John yesterday .
=>(S2)The stone (being) cut by Tom now was cut by John yesterday .
While I was having my lunch, a guest came.
=>(S3) I (being) having my lunch, a guest came.
The man who was working in the yard had been working for more than forty hours.
=>(S4)The man (being) working in the yard had been working for more than forty hours.

[azhong]

(My practice.)
My floormates all agree that a portion of the furniture is out of place in the living room and has made the space messy and crowded, but none of us has gotten around to laboring for a better layout. It is more or less due to our tiredness after hours on weekdays, and who wants to spend precious holidays in house-cleaning when the time you can have fun finally arrive? Anyhow, we resolve to give it a start this time regardless. The untidiness ends up spiting none other than us who live inside when any of our acquaintances drops by if we just leave the room along. So, starting from next week, the cleaning-up will be at least thirty minutes for once but no more than an hour, starting at nine p.m. on every weekday evening except for Friday. And that is our deal, named as “New Life”.

[Linguaphile]

The stone that was cut by John yesterday is being cut by Tom.
=>(S1)The stone being cut by John yesterday is being cut by Tom. ( without "being")

Yes, you have to say this without "being", because it is past tense.

The stone that is being cut by Tom now was cut by John yesterday .
=>(S2)The stone (being) cut by Tom now was cut by John yesterday .

Yes.

While I was having my lunch, a guest came.
=>(S3) I (being) having my lunch, a guest came.

No. You're overusing "being". You can say "While I was having my lunch, a guest came."

The man who was working in the yard had been working for more than forty hours.
=>(S4)The man (being) working in the yard had been working for more than forty hours.

Same problem with overusing "being". Just say "The man working in the yard had been working for more than forty hours."

who wants to spend precious holidays in house-cleaning when the time you can have fun finally arrive?

who wants to spend precious holidays [on] house-cleaning when the time you can have fun finally arrives?

if we just leave the room along.

alone (just a typo here)

So, starting from next week, the cleaning-up will be at least thirty minutes for once.

at once
(or "at a time")

[azhong]

I wonder if western classical music would become a portion of my later life were it not the appearance of a piano at my house when I was a kid. That costly, enormous musical instrument, however, was not bought for me and, as far as I could remember, I was not encouraged to have a touch, either.

That was a usual weekday afternoon when I was a third or fourth grade boy, after I had walked home from school playing along with several classmates as usual and was happily waiting for a nearby classmate coming to write the homework together. Unusually, a small truck stopped in front of my house. From there a black cuboid was very cautiously moved down, into our living room by some strong men. My parents appeared excited too, my father guiding the workers by reminding them of possible collisions in time, and my mother helping clean obstacles. I followed and stared at the huge object during the whole process; it showed a majestic feature the other possessions all lacked in this not-so-rich family. It was so very pretty and elegant as if it were a prince in a tale: its body was in a polished and gleaming black, a long row of numerous teeth hiding inside, spotless ivory, and its clothes seemingly a evening gown for a ball, in black silk with red tufts of tassels.

“What is it? What for?” I asked curiously at my first chance, and asked repeatedly then, never giving up my entanglements till my busy mother finally got irritated.
“A piano, for your elder sister’s practice," said my mom with a warning. "Very, very expensive, and never do you touch so ruin it.”

[azhong]

(My practice.)
Is COVID-19 the most serious decease of all time? It somehow appeared and was gradually spread out in the world during 2019, causing many people to have died in its attack. The virus has thwarted - if it is not devastated - the human economic development. International fights are also palpably reduced due to the extra requirement of two-week isolation. COVID-19 might be a disaster to human beings but, ironically yet honestly, a tremendous blessing to all the other creatures on earth. Human being is the cancer of all the creatures, is it not, with its endless desires?

COVID-19 is not an infectious decease like AIDS that will bring the infected patients into disrepute, who are thus feared to admit and defer or even refuse to see a doctor.

Taiwan has better escaped from this global disaster with its natural, geographical advantage, an isolated island surrounded by ocean.

May the disease more or less awakens all the humans to considering again the course we are steering toward, our selfish devastation at the living space of the other creatures and extravagant consumption at the natural resources.

[azhong]

Another query about being, please. Thank you for your reply.

Q1: The sentences are both grammatical, are they not?
S1-A)He walked away, being hungry and tired, and left Matthew alone.
S1-B)He walked away, hungry and tired, and left Matthew alone.

Q2: Do they come separately from
S2-A) He walked away and left Matthew alone. He was being hungry and tired.
S2-B) He walked away and left Matthew alone. He was hungry and tired?

Q3: What’s the subtle differences between these two sentences then?
S3-A) He was being hungry and tired.
S3-B) He was hungry and tired.

[Linguaphile]

Another query about being, please. Thank you for your reply.

Q1: The sentences are both grammatical, are they not?
S1-A)He walked away, being hungry and tired, and left Matthew alone.
S1-B)He walked away, hungry and tired, and left Matthew alone.

Yes.
An important point here: in both of these sentences, the part in bold is a descriptor. It functions as an adjective, describing the person's state at the time he performs the action. (I'll get into why this is relevant, below.)

Q2: Do they come separately from
S2-A) He walked away and left Matthew alone. He was being hungry and tired.
S2-B) He walked away and left Matthew alone. He was hungry and tired?

No. Both come from S2-B He was hungry and tired. S1-A changes was to a participle ("being"); sentence S1-B omits it entirely. Both are acceptable was to merge the two sentences in S2-B.

Q3: What’s the subtle differences between these two sentences then?
S3-A) He was being hungry and tired.
S3-B) He was hungry and tired.

S3-B sounds good. S3-A sounds unnatural.
There is a big difference between your S1-A (where "being hungry and tired" works) and S3-A (where it doesn't work well): S1-A has an additional action verb.
Being hungry and tired functions as an adjective phrase describing something else.
In S1-A that "something else" is "he walked away". It is telling us the person's current state (hungry and tired) as he walks away. We could just say "He walked away and left Matthew alone" and the sentence would still tell us about the same actions. "Being hungry and tired" doesn't introduce any new events to the sentence, just new descriptive details about how he feels when those events happen.

Sentence S3-A is different because in S3-A there no "something else" for this phrase to describe. It's a totally different type of sentence when compared to S1-A.
Above I removed "being hungry and tired" from S1-A and ended up with "He walked away and left Matthew alone," which is a perfectly good sentence which can stand on its own.
But if I try to do the same thing with S3-A what am I left with? Just "He was," which doesn't really make sense (not unless we add more context to it). It's grammatical, but without more context, we don't really know what it means.

I think the confusion here may come from the fact that being can be used in different ways.

• It can be a past progressive (a.k.a. past continuous): He was being very careful. [He is doing something.]
• It can be a past continuous passive: He was being watched. [Someone is doing something to him.]
• It can be a participle: He walked away, being hungry and tired, and left Matthew alone. [This describes the situation, like an adjective.]

It seems that you are confusing the first kind (your sentence S3-A) with the third kind (your sentence S1-A). I think you understand the words "being hungry and tired" in S1-A as a past progressive form, when it is actually a participial phrase in that sentence. Because of this, you are trying to use S1-A as an example for a sentence like S3-A, but it won't work well there in a naturally-sounding way. A participial phrase like you have in S1-A should modify (describe) something; in S3-A there is nothing for it to describe.

I can anticipate your next question might be "but if you can say 'He was being very careful,', then why not 'He was being hungry and tired?'" Okay, you can say that, but I'll repeat: it's not the same type of sentence as your S1-A. A sentence like "he was being careful" is common when used with the word "careful", but this type of construction isn't used especially often in random contexts. Overusing it will sound non-native. This is why "he was being hungry and tired" sounds unnatural to me.


Earlier this afternoon I had promised myself I wouldn't write more late-night posts, and already I'm breaking my promise. It's late, I will proofread this tomorrow.

[azhong]

Yes, Linguaphile, do not stay up late for replying to me, please. Abundant sleep is a very good prescription to many deceases.

I am clearer now. But my next question, pls: why is being added in the modifier then? What subtle differences does its participation create? When had I better preserve it and when, leave it out? (Is S2 still natural with an one-word post-modifier?)

S1) He walked away, being hungry.
S2) He walked away, hungry.

[azhong]

(My practice.)
My youngest sister May, the one with freckles and a thick braid usually, adored Tom too much; she dreaded interacting with Tom all last evening when he joined our family dinner, thus sidling past him with her timid, unnatural demeanor. We teased her this morning but she deluded herself her behavior was proper, which induced her more mockery from us. We might be a bit over, however; we would have made her cry had my father not repressed us in time. Everyone falling in love is somewhat ludicrous.

[azhong]

(My practice.)
We were having a discussion, our opinions somewhat different. She suddenly got rigid with anger, her face turning a blotchy red, and I could merely keep my simpering smile. I couldn’t figure her change in emotion. There was no discernible reason to me; it was true our views were opposite but I didn’t intrude mine upon her. She was enthusiastic and vivacious, but her personality was somehow elusive at times. In any case, we need to confront and conclude the suspended issue, and I am now preparatory to having a talk with her again.

[azhong]

I have an inquiry about the bolded phrase, which sounds to make the sentence run-on, clear though, to me because the existence of were they. Am I correct?

The great snake…opened its mouth wide and hissed angrily, but the Death Eaters did not hear it, so jubilant were they at Bellatrix and the Malfoys’ humiliation.

[azhong]

(My practice.)
She was a discerning reader, good at valuing literature books. We greeted her with our rapturous applause, which had her face flushed with happiness. She had a jaunty grin when she addressed us. Her speech was humorous and brought the audience mirth; inspiring, knowledge. She was decidedly learned. The speech would have lasted longer but she had booked her return train.

[azhong]

(My practice.)
She was sitting on a high pile of shingles at the extreme end of the platform, waiting for a man named Matthew Cuthbert. The train she took had been in and gone half an hour ago, and the sun was falling. She was an orphan at the age of eleven and, having been informed that Mr. Cuthbert was to adopt her, left her asylum this morning with her quite limited luggage, dressing in an ugly, unfitted dress with a faded sailor hat. Her new life with happiness in a real family was about to start, about which she had plenty of imagination, expectation, and naturally some worries, too. How if her family to be were as unfriendly as Cinderella’s step-mother and two step-sisters in the fairy tale? But the most urgent problem is that Mr. Cuthbert did not show up yet. The empty long platform was so quiet, and it was getting dark. Where would she spend the night if the man didn’t appear in time before the night?

[azhong]

I find another run-on sentence from J. K. Rowling:

The interest around the table sharpened palpably: Some stiffened, others fidgeted, all gazing at Snape and Voldemort.