azhong wrote:After reading your detailed(詳盡的) explanations, on which you must have spent a lot of time, and for which I am fully truly grateful, I rewrite have rewritten my four sentences of the short passage as below, with some questions. Thank you in advance for your coming responses, which I am highly looking forward to greatly.
(To ask by the way, is the style of the passage above natural or odd?)
It sounds very formal. There's nothing wrong with that if that's how you wanted it to seem though.
azhong wrote:(1) Drowsily, the man stepped out of his bedroom and moved to the top of the stairs.
Q1: can I say the stairs top instead of the top of the stairs?
I assume you mean "the stairs'
top" - no, that wouldn't be correct. The 's-genitive in English is normally used for people or living things, "Azhong's Writing Practice" for example, we tend to use the of-genitive for things, "top of the stairs", "bowls of the ship", "hilt of the sword" etc. This isn't a hard and fast rule and you will find instances where either is acceptable, but "top of the stairs" isn't one of them.
azhong wrote:(2-1, Vijay’s revision) His right leg stepped down onto a staircase/rung, and as a direct result, he slightly twisted his right knee.
A bit of explanation at first. The hurt of pain in his knee has been there since/from before he goes went downstairs. It’s because he used to ride bikes, and is just evoked by the impulse action of going descending down the stairs. After my explanation, here is my question:
Q2: Is it still better to say as a direct result than immediately or at once if I just want to say that the pain comes very soon?
No. "as a direct result" implies causation, not temporal proximity. I would rewrite the whole sentence as "His right foot reached* down onto a step of the staircase** and at once a twinge shot*** through his right**** knee."
* I prefer "reached" or some synonym thereof as, for me, a person steps, a leg doesn't step of it's own accord.
** "Staircase" implies (to me, at least) the entire set of stairs, "step" or "stair" is a single step on a staircase, and "rung" is only on a ladder. If I was writing this, I would have said "onto the first step", and thus avoided having to add "of the staircase", but that changes the meaning of what you wrote slightly.
*** We describe sudden, intense pains as "shooting" up or through a body part, so it fit well here.
**** It's almost a little redundant to specify that it's the right knee when we have already said it's the right leg, but it doesn't sound too jarring to leave it in if you like.
azhong wrote:Q3: And, is directly a synonym of immediately here?
No, it clarifies the cause and effect of the pain, not the amount of time between them.
azhong wrote:Q4: In the sentences below, I’ve just collected your suggestions for my convenience. I need your to looking them over, please.
(2-2)He stepped down onto a staircase/rung/step, and immediately (or directly?) his felt a slight twinge (or pain?) in the his right knee.
I would say "step", "immediately" and either twinge or pain is find (twinge sounds less painful to me)
azhong wrote:(2-3) His right leg stepped down onto a rung, and immediately the knee felt a slight twinge.
Again, I don't think legs step, people do. See above about "rung", and knees don't feel things, people do.
azhong wrote:(2-4) He set/placed his right foot on a rung, and immediately the knee was slightly twinged.
"twinge" is more often used as a noun than a verb, and when it is a verb it can't be transitive, so something can't "be twinged".
azhong wrote:(2-5) He stepped on his right leg on the first step, ……
to use the phrase "on his right leg" to mean "using his right leg" as you have done here, but when I read this is just think he is putting his left foot on his right leg as "to step on" has its own meaning and is more common than the independent use of "to step" with the preposition "on" meaning "using".
azhong wrote:(3) He paused, reached for the bannister/(ladder) rail/handrail, and gripped it.
Is it a ladder or a staircase? "bannister" for a staircase, "rail/handrail" for a ladder.
azhong wrote:(Q5: Is it possible to explain briefly why grip[i] is a better candidate than [i]grasp here? And how about clasp?)
I'm not sure that it necessarily is. "grip" has a connotation of firmness, so he didn't just take hold of the rail, he did so firmly. "grasp" loses that connotation, but has (to me) the connotation that it was a kind of desperate attempt to grab the rail, as if he were falling and needed to grab it quickly. That could just be me though. "clasp" doesn't sound right - I wouldn't say people normally "clasp" something in their hands, it sounds to me more like how you would describe something being gripped between two inanimate objects, like "he clasped the searing hot coal with the tongs".
azhong wrote:(4) "Ouch!" he wailed號哭/griped抱怨/whimpered小聲抱怨/moaned抱怨 softly. "Damn it!"
Well, you can't wail softly, it's a very loud act, "Gripe" is not part of my active vocabulary, I think it might be an Americanism, so I'll let someone else talk about it. "whimper" makes the subject seem somewhat pathetic, like a small, wounded animal or something. "moan" sounds like the subject was not really that bothered by the pain, but is probably the best choice with the word "softly".