Azhong's Writing Practice.

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azhong
Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-11-26, 8:55

(My writing practice: Pastor Malory 03)

After thinking so, he became triumphant again on his progress. He relaxed himself more by twisting his waist, turning his shoulders and neck, then he saw the painting on the wall, an oil tableau of the Virgin Mary and the Blessed Infant. A bright red beam of the early morning light was shining down and fell upon the Morher's pink breast and the pudgy face of the bare-bottomed Baby. Their holy smiles made Pastor Malory feel uneasy again.

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-11-27, 6:35

(My writing practice: the story of Pastor Malory 4)

Sometimes he still felt guilty about learning the wizardry privately. "It's not what a clergyman should do," such an inner voice had been uttering at times since he had started his correspondence courses in wizardry and witchcraft. His feeling was reasonable: Back to the time from the 15th to the 18th centuries, those who could apply witchcraft and wizardry would be considered malevolent and Satanic, and they would be convicted and sentenced. "How can you, a person serving the God, learn the skills belonging to Satan?"

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-11-28, 5:38

(My writing practice.)

I was a twenty ager at the period I am going to tell about, when I had a stable job, lived along in a suite, and had a girl to hang out with. I don't know yet what precisely I'm going to tell; there seemed to be quite a few events I can tell about. Anyway, I believe the themes will eventually emerge on its own. Although I can't see it clearly yet, I know it was already there; all I need to do is to summon up the concrete shape hidden inside the cloud of vagueness in my memory.

The company I was in provided me my first official full-time job, and I worked there for about four years before I resigned. It was the freshest time of my career life when I was still as naive and unsophisticated as a college boy. I didn't realize I'd have a bright career future if I went on staying in the company. Nor did I realize well enough the salary I had was envily good for most college graduates at the time. Instead, one thing I was surer of: I was unhappy in my working hours. Most of the time I felt as if I was a tree growing in an inappropriate environment. Money won't contribute to one's happiness once it's beyond one's need and just becomes a number change in the bank account, and my material needs happen to be easily satisfied.

I won't be surprised if I am told my performance always fell short of the expectations of every boss I once reported to and in consiquence it came about that I got the poorest annual performance appraisal without expectation every year. I didn't mean to act as the black sheep among my co-workers; nor did I intended to enjoy the cool under the shadow out of the efforts of my co-workers. Another thing I was quite sure of: Maybe I was not a tree that could grow as high and thick as an oak or as evergreen as a pine, but I was never a vine that couldn't grow upward independently and had a nature to rely on oaks or pines.
Last edited by azhong on 2021-12-03, 9:10, edited 1 time in total.

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-11-29, 10:39

(A writing practice.)

Puberty is an embarrassing period in practice although it's also exciting theoretically. Indeed, it's a chance with hope: An ugly duck is stepping on her way turning possibly into an elegant swan, and a clamorous(=noisy) frog, a decent prince. Unfortunately, theories are but sentences written in books. After written into words, an experience will be simplified by omitting most details, and it's nothing but those adequate trivia that make an experience stand out and unforgettable. In theory, for example, you know you'll arrive in the prosperous city Taipei if you just walk northerly in Taiwan, or the most popular tourist destinations Kenting National Park, but it doesn't tell about any troubles or fortunes you might have in the long-time adventure. Your purse may be stolen on the night you stay in a cheap hotel where there will be an old lady knocking your door to ask if you need a girl, and you may break your leg when chasng after the pretty thief. Or you may have crush on a glasses-wearing nerd you come across in a convenience store where you intend to have something for lunch as usual and then see unusual him, sitting alone next to you reading seriously a brick-thick novel written in some nom-English foreign language. These details are the plots we'd like more to know, the information that Google Map or a compass can't tell.

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Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby OldBoring » 2021-11-29, 13:20

azhong wrote:Puberty is an embarrassing period

Nice word play

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-11-29, 14:02

OldBoring wrote:
azhong wrote:Puberty is an embarrassing period

Nice word play

……我用錯字了嗎? Period 不是有 「時期 」的意思嗎?我無意間抖了個我自己都不知道的包袱,用了個英文的雙關語是嗎?

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-11-30, 10:14

(My writing practice: puberty 2)

During the adolescent years when one is getting sexual mature, the new events most obvious and troublesome are menstruations for girls and erections for boys. As an ex-boy but not an ex-girl, I dare not claim I clearly know the inconveniences during the menstrual period and thus I prefer keeping silent on the knowledge. What I did realize well are the experiences of being played by my energetic organ then. It seemed capable of activating itself whenever and wherever to apply its naughty mischief, as if a springing basketball bounced upward at once as it hit the ground every time. It would be a tough situation if it came about by chance that I was called to answer a question in class when I'd have to stand up from my seat, a cultural behavior in Chinese to show my politeness and respect to the teacher. In such a case, however, I couldn't decide which reaction would be more polite, to stand up or not. I also didn't realize why it could suddenly turn exciting even when the class was talking about Confucius's serious sayings, with which the ancient Saint teached his pupils how to behave decently. Confucius is indeed a great teacher, so great that he could even predict my dillima thousands of years later, and comforts me by saying: "The desires to food and sex are human natures." I guess, objectively but reasonably, Confucius said so previously because some of his adolescent pupils got their erection in class, too.

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-01, 7:47

(Pastor Malory 05)

Pastor Malory was sitting in his office, the wind outside blowing and hitting the old wooden windows, which thus collided slightly at times. The first cold wave of this year arrived last night and brought a cold, windy morning.

Malory was doing nothing but sitting, waiting for his parcel. He gazed at the bright diamond-shaped places on the ground, the footprints of the beams of morning light sloping in through the window. The delivery man called him earlier when he was having his breakfast. It arrived at last, the thing he had ordered on the on-sale weekend after Thanksgiving. He tried to calm himself down and kept staring at the glowing/light areas/regions, which were seemingly motionless and decided to stay there forever. It was a gift for himself, which he had been waiting for since then, enthusiastically more or less. He remembered it was a Bible that he looked forward to so earnestly last time, a leathersoft, bronze one, another gift he brought for himself when he had decided to devoted his life to serve the God. But there was something different this time; he kept it as a secret to most acquaintances and tried his best to conceal his excitement as well.

Suddenly, he heard the squeak of a metal door bolt around his gate; a goods compartment of an express truck was open. Why didn't he hear the arrival of the express truck. He heard his door bell rang. Maybe the truck just showed up silently out of no where by using the wizardry. Yes, that's the reason why.

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-02, 10:29

I roasted a pack of peanuts this afternoon, without flavoring them but just having them dry-roasted. It's not a difficult process, and would be even easier if I had an oven. I set up the fire first with dry leaves, bamboo and wood sticks, and then thick wood after the fire was stable. I cooked my dinner first, a small pot of soup noodles with meat, vegetables and eggs. After that I put my Chinese wok onto the stove and poured the peanuts in. During the roasting I controlled the fire to be small while keeping stirring the peanuts with a spatula, so as to prevent them from getting burned. So, in the coming days I'll have a new choice of snacks between meals and one more side dish for meals.

Peanut is nutritious and healthy, a member of the nut family. It is a local produce here in Taiwan and thus cheaper than the other imported nuts, pistachios 開心果 for example, and almonds, cashews腰果, walnuts核桃, and macadamia nuts夏威夷果. It's said many Westerners are allergic to peanuts but it occurred more rarely for my race. Peanuts are delicious to me no matter they're salt-roasted, dry-roasted, water-boiled, stewed with pig's feet, fried with bean curd strips豆干絲, or cooked as a sweet soup.

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-03, 10:36

Ken Wu woke up at around ten this morning, the usual time when he didn't schedule any work in the morning. After getting dressed, he went off toward the breakfast shop.

Ken is a radio and television presenter, and he hosts a radio program from ten to twelve on weekday evenings. He lives alone and is used to eating out at the same shop for his brunch, the time he relaxes and enjoys very much, when he will start his day by browsing his Facebook, Instagram and Twitter reading his cyber-pals' posts and his fans' messages, and uploading his sometimes. The typical brunch he orders includes two fried eggs.

This morning, when his eggs came, there were three on his plate. He looked up to the female shop owner, who was serving him. She replied before he asked.

"Eggs of this lot are smaller," she explained, smiling. "One more for free."

This is a true story I heard in Ken's radio program. Such a behavior will be said in Chinese as “有人情味“, having touching qualities of people. A sentence you can make in Chinese for this case is:
這家早餐店有人情味。
(The breakfast shop have touching qualities of people.)

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-04, 14:16

(I rewrote a previous writing practice exercises)

“Just a single slice of toast, with nothing on, is already too rich for my breakfast,” she said, having no desire to touch her tablewares yet.

She put her elbows on the table, and her slim fingers posed and changed languidly before her face, a teenager's. Her cheeks were far from chubby. She gazed at her hands admiring the delicacy before she talked again, to herself, with a slight sigh.

“I'm not slender enough.”

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-04, 14:18

(I rewrote a previous writing practice exercise.)

“Just a single slice of toast, with nothing on, is already too rich for my breakfast,” she said, having no desire to touch her tablewares yet.

She put her elbows on the table, while her slim fingers posed and changed languidly before her face, a teenager's. Her cheeks were far from chubby. She gazed at her hands admiring the delicacy before she talked again, to herself, with a slight sigh.

“I'm not slender enough.”

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-05, 10:34

(Continuing with the previous post.)

“Indeed not, as a skeleton goes,” said her brother across the table.

He was two or three years older and, unlike his sister, was firm like a peasant / firm as a peasant is / as firm as a peasant. While his sister was taking her gazes at her willowy fingers as her breakfast, he was spreading more strips of streaky bacon onto the egg on his second buttered toast with his thick fingers, his mouth chewing the first.

(Also, two corrections I received years ago.)
From linguoboy:

Some of us you* have told me linguoboy was not being offensive to me, and I decided to reset my feelings, my thoughts, and then my response here.
*:
► Show Spoiler

From Dormouse559:

That evening very late
Very late that evening, only a little before midnight, when the full moon had hanged high and hung high in the sky and was shining brightly, a weird thing occurred.

By the lake in the city park, several swans were asleep sleeping, with their shadows falling on the sandy shore. All The shadows were clear and about the shape of an egg. There and then then, one of these shades shadows started changing; it lengthened slowly along the flat land as if a big, dark chewing gum as if it were a big, dark wad/lump of chewing gum. In a few moments it came into took on the shape of a human being.
► Show Spoiler
Last edited by azhong on 2022-02-21, 5:03, edited 1 time in total.

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-06, 2:38

Q: Is it grammatical to say, by omitting "he was" after "if",
He jumped as if happy?
► Show Spoiler

Q2: I think the sentences are grammatical by changing "as if", am I right?
The shadow started lengthening like a wad of chewing gum.(like: preposition)
The shadow started lengthening as a wad of chewing gum did. (as: conjunction)
The shadow started as lengthening as a wad of chewing gum. (adverb; preposition)
The shadow started as lengthening as a wad of chewing gum did. (adverb; conjunction)
The shadow started lengthening slowly along the flat land as if a big, dark chewing gum as if it were a big, dark wad of chewing gum.

Thank you in advance for your help.

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Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby linguoboy » 2021-12-07, 22:34

azhong wrote:Q: Is it grammatical to say, by omitting "he was" after "if",
He jumped as if happy?

It is.

azhong wrote:Q2: I think the sentences are grammatical by changing "as if", am I right?
The shadow started lengthening like a wad of chewing gum.(like: preposition)
The shadow started lengthening as a wad of chewing gum did. (as: conjunction)

These are grammatical but they don't have the same meaning. "As" by itself is a temporal conjunction (e.g. "He came in as I was leaving.") What you've just said here is that the shadow and the chewing gum both started lengthening at the same time.

azhong wrote:The shadow started as lengthening as a wad of chewing gum. (adverb; preposition)

Ungrammatical.

azhong wrote:The shadow started as lengthening as a wad of chewing gum did. (adverb; conjunction)

Ungrammatical. The "as...as" construction can only be used with adjectives. See: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/grammar/british-grammar/comparison-comparisons-of-equality-as-tall-as-his-father.
"Richmond is a real scholar; Owen just learns languages because he can't bear not to know what other people are saying."--Margaret Lattimore on her two sons

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Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby OldBoring » 2021-12-09, 10:22

azhong wrote:
OldBoring wrote:
azhong wrote:Puberty is an embarrassing period

Nice word play

……我用錯字了嗎? Period 不是有 「時期 」的意思嗎?我無意間抖了個我自己都不知道的包袱,用了個英文的雙關語是嗎?

开玩笑而已。在其他语境里,period也是月经的意思。

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-09, 12:34

OldBoring wrote:
azhong wrote:
OldBoring wrote:
azhong wrote:Puberty is an embarrassing period

Nice word play

……我用錯字了嗎? Period 不是有 「時期 」的意思嗎?我無意間抖了個我自己都不知道的包袱,用了個英文的雙關語是嗎?

开玩笑而已。在其他语境里,period也是月经的意思。

哈哈,原來如此。長知識啦(漲芝士啦),謝謝!

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-09, 16:05

(My writing practice by rewriting the previous passage. Thank you.)

Richard was walking along the road carrying his heavy motorcycle pushing his scooter along the ground. It was out of petrol. The area he was passing through was desolate, no houses in view, but only trees and bushes. He stopped his steps, wiped the sweat from his face, and fanned himself by repeatedly pulling his shirt fanned himself repeatedly with his shirt, which had been soaked through and was sticking to his back and chest. After glancing upward at the high-hanging, blazing sun, he felt more thirsty.

“I must have been walking for a decade.”
Last edited by azhong on 2021-12-10, 0:03, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby linguoboy » 2021-12-09, 17:57

azhong wrote:Richard was walking along the road carrying his heavy motorcycle. It was out of petrol. The area he was passing through was desolate, no houses in view, but only trees and bushes. He stopped his steps, wiped the sweat from his face, and fanned himself by repeatedly pulling his shirt, which had been soaked through and was sticking to his back and chest. After glancing upward at the high-hanging, blazing sun, he felt more thirsty.

“I must have been walking for a decade.”

1. A motorcycle typically weighs 200 kg or more, which would make it very difficult to carry one for more than a few meters. Typically, if your motorcycle ran out of petrol, you would push it along the ground.
2. I think just "fanned himself repeatedly with his shirt" it enough to convey the image you're trying to create. The fact that you it "was sticking to his back and chest" makes it clear (to me at least) that he isn't removing it from his body in order to do this.
"Richmond is a real scholar; Owen just learns languages because he can't bear not to know what other people are saying."--Margaret Lattimore on her two sons

azhong

Re: Azhong's Writing Practice.

Postby azhong » 2021-12-10, 13:16

(Corrections from Vijay)

This is a very special experience that through a foreign firend's help I can catch what a book is taking about in details, especially that the book is written in a language I don't know at all, which made your help more precious.
It is a very special experience to be able to catch what a book is talking about in detail with the help of a foreign friend, especially when the book is written in a language I don't know at all, making your help more precious.

From the problems they face separately in their lives, it can be clearly seen that they live in two different worlds. It sounds to me like that the deplomat is trying to get more delicious snacks, cinnamon rolls for example, for enjoying their afternoon tea time, but the surrogate mother, some basic rice and meat to survive. All their experiences are also uncommon to me, too*.
"unusual".
I find all their experiences unusual, too; or
I think (that) all their experiences are unusual, too.
(I find the use of "uncommon" a bit more unusual than "unusual.")

BTW, the dual-line narration used in his book, I touched it for the first time I touched the dual-line narration used in his book for the first time when I read the novel “Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World” (1991) by the prolific Japanese writer Haruki Murakami, who is seemingly quite very much in favor of this writing form and repeated it in his later books. I am mentioning this just because it comes to my mind but I know I'm being off-topic.


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