DOs and DON'Ts in your countries

[Weldal]

senatortombstone escreveu:
take of your shoes before entering a privater house

Where I live, it's actually normal and acceptable not to take off your shoes when you come to someone's house (apartment). This is so widespread that my landlords, who want to keep their house clean, must specifically ask all guests to take off their shoes.

Here in Brazil houses and apartments usually have a small (let's say 30 x 40 cm2 or 12 x 16 inches2) carpet in front of the doors, so that everyone is supposed to clean his/her shoes in that carpet before entering in one's home, so that it is possible to keep shoes on.
As far as I can remember the same happened in Belgium when I lived there (1999-2000).
Brazil and Belgium don't have many things in common, but this habit...
Here one must take off shoes and wear slippers made of tissue, only when one enters the Imperial Museum in Petrópolis...
Or eventually in a muslim temple, but there aren't many here...

[Zaduma]

Yesterday I heard two guys talking that their friend got a mandate because he was pissing under the tree or somewhere, in a public place... They were shocked. And I must say I love this idea (of ticketing, not of pissing everywhere, for sure) I just hate seeing guys doing it , oh well, that happens here... Men here are shameless Really! How is it in other countries?

[Varislintu]

Finland is quite a safe place to break etiquette, because if you do something wrong, people don't get aggressive, just think you are weird ...

- Good old protestant ethics have done their thing to Finnish society as well: Being on time is expected, not being on time is seen as sloppy or immature, sometimes even rude.

- No kissing as a general greeting; shake hands. Friends (esp. girls) hug a lot, girls may even kiss cheeks, but it is considered to be a bit of a show-off.

- Adress an unknown elderly person in the polite plural form. Otherwise Finns aren't too stiff about this; you can address teachers, collegues and even bosses by the first name. "Ms/mister" is very seldomly used when intoducing anyone, the full name is enough.

- If you drop by somewhere without calling first, you might find an empty home. Finns work and shop away most of their time on weekdays. Dropping by unanounced when the host family is eating dinner is very awkward...

- Ask permission of your table-mates before lighting a cigarrette (assuming you are in the smoking-zone of the Bar/restaurant), unless others are already smoking, or you know the others also smoke. Be prepared the other one might not want you to smoke.

- Don't start a conversation with the person sittting next to you in the bus. Give your seat to old people if necessary. Help lift a trolley (the right word?) in.

- Don't grab another persons child, unless they are in danger. Berating children is considered to be the parents responsibility, and any angry physical contact to a strangers child is very unadvisable.

- There are no taboos about clothing in the Summer, exept don't walk around on the streets naked or in your bathing suit, and women should only be topless near a beach. Women should only be naked while skinny-dipping (usually on a less public beach), or, of course, during sauna. It is also quite OK to wear a towel in the sauna if you want to ...

- Take your shoes off inside someones house. We don't have the climate to wear shoes inside.

[Anstai]

Well, I definitely see why this was posted.
In the Netherlands, at least people get you something to drink.
In Sweden, you can still come to visit someone (if it isn't a pre-arranged lunch/dinner/cup of coffee) and you don't get anything. Why should you, don't you have food at home? (Or something like that, I don't know why.)
You should be careful with looking into people's eyes, especially in a club or bar, since that usually means that you are trying to make a more intimate contact.
If you have never met a person, and this is the first time, you may shake hands. Next time, it's OK to just say "hello" and not touch at all
Good friends hug each other, it's a bit like a lot of countries "kiss on the cheeks", except you don't kiss at all, you just put your arms, loosely, around the other person. If you're really good friends, the arms get tighter

Don't buy anyone anything in case you have some kind of arrangement ("you pay my ticket to the cinema, I'll pay your coffee"). In case you really want to flirt with someone, it's OK, but please make the flirting clear in advance, before going into buying things.

Please, dance

[sad usian]

I don't know if it was posted, but in the US it would probably be dangerous to breastfeed an infant in public. Due probably to our puritan origin, most areas are very strict about breasts; well, I guess the whole world knows how America was more worried about Janet Jackson showing her nipple than about US troops torturing Iraqi prisoners.

OTOH, I've seen lots of carrying weapons and drinking alcohol in public (I'm not sure why someone earlier said not to drink alcohol in public in the US--I guess that must be someplace(s) I've not been).

I think it goes back to the puritan thing again; violence is ok, nudity is bad. This principle should probably be borne in mind in public conversations in the US--people will not mind if you talk about violence, and even bombing and killing (as long as it is Arabs or at least not Americans), but be cautious in discussing nudity or the human body.

[Saaropean]

I think it goes back to the puritan thing again; violence is ok, nudity is bad. This principle should probably be borne in mind in public conversations in the US--people will not mind if you talk about violence, and even bombing and killing (as long as it is Arabs or at least not Americans), but be cautious in discussing nudity or the human body.

And it seems to be just the opposite in Europe, including what people consider acceptable in the media (mainly TV)...

[Chayisjka]

I don't think I've read something about this already:
Something that we value a lot in the Netherlands, is that people do what they say. If you have promised to do something, but then you don't do it, people will get irritated or frustrated.

Also you should say what you mean and mean what you say. We're pretty straightforward here, just say what we think. One shouldn't say yes, because it sounds more polite or kind, if he really means no, and vice versa.

[LCommi]

Do's and Dont's in the Netherlands......

Never touch other people, not any part of the body is lisenced. Only very good friends do.

When you meet somebody you don't kiss him/her but you shaking hands.

Men don't kiss each other, never. (a few gays don't follow this rule )

Don't stare to people, eye contact must be taking as less time as possible. Looking to people can be seen as a treat.

Talk to eldery people in formal language.

Never put your legs on the table.

Don't burbing at the dinner, and chew your food with your mouth closed.

Use knife and fork to eat, hands are forbidden!

Never calling swearwords in public.

When you go to the toilet, don't say you want to go to the toilet, but say that you want to wash your hands, or brush your nose.



And there many more....

Greets
Ron de Leeuw
the Netherlands

I didn't know the people in Tilburg were this formal

Kissing one the first time you meet someone is getting really normal in the Netherlands.
Most immigrant are from muslimcultures where it is normal for men to kiss, and dutch are now doing this as well.

I don't like be touched by total strangers, but it happens a lot and a hand on the shoulder is in our part of the Netherland (Gelderland) a very normal way to greet one.

As for eye-contact, I was always taught it is rude not to look the person your talking with in the eyes. I "a guide to the Netherlands" I even read always make eye-contact, if you don't make eye-contact on your sollicitation you'll never get a job.

Talking to elderly people in a fromal way is I think really important. Most youngsters are really respectless to elderly. But only once in my live I was not said to use the informal version. (when the formal version is used to you, it an indication that you're getting very old, and most people don't like that.

As for going to the toilet, I've been taught never to lie. And in this part of the country we say "even the Queen has to go 3 times a day"
So I'd just say I'm going to the bathroom when I'm with really important people.


So that's difference in Do's and Dont's in towns just 40 KM apart.

[Steisi]

Hmm, no one's done England yet
Here we are then:

-When you meet someone you should shake their hand and nod your head and you can say your full name to them and then you say "nice to meet you". You can also say "nice to have met you" and shake hands again when you part company. Men do NOT kiss (English people WILL shout homophobic things at you in the street unless of course you're in a gay district). Women don't kiss either although it seems to be fashionable amongst teen girls to kiss at the moment..I go to a girls school and i get kissed on average 5 times a week. If someone does this to you more than once a day you have the right to call them a lesbian. It's not very normal :X
..Unless of course you are indeed a lesbian
-When you're eating you should chew with your mouth closed, not talk whilst you eat, keep your elbows off the table and attempt to eat everythng with a knife and fork (except fast food).
You do not slurp(!!) when you're eating, it's veeerrrry rude! We had a chinese boy here who slurped so loudly and it really irritates us English people..Don't do it! Don't fart or burp..and don't get up straight away from the end of the meal. Also, you should not shovel your food in like there's no tomorrow, but you should clear your plate. Apparently etiquette here used to teach that you should chew food 144 times. Bah, I'd be late! And that's not good either!!
-English people are never late Well, they are, but we like to pretend we're not. People will get severely annoyed if you're late so then it messes up your schedule.
-Coming around uninvited will annoy someone because they have not had time to hoover the carpet We don't offer anyone anymore than a cup of tea usually, one or two digestive biscuits if you're lucky. Nothing more...and it's considered a rarity if you get any other food, unless you've been specifically invited round for dinner How rude of us!
-Another weird thing about eating...when you're having a break between eating, you place your knife and fork apart on the plate. When you're done, you place them together at the bottom of the plate.
-You should always take your shoes off in someone else's house. It's rude not to. If you're allowed to keep them on, they will tell you. This also goes for if you're just popping in for some sugar or something.
-When you go to someones house you ring the doorbell or knock, but when they open it, it's considered highly impolite to barge in, even if they were expecting you. You have to stand out there in the rain until they let you in verbally
-Addressing people..hmm. We use Madam and Sir for people at formal occasions, and Mr/Mrs/Miss for all other people, for example elderly people (except your granny) are referred to as Mr Smith etc. If someone has a title (Reverend, Doctor) that's what you call them, cos they spent all that time at University training for it
-Touching! All you clingy people!! You do not touch English people. It's distinctly rude and people will freely insult you or even wrench the offending body part away from your reach. Girls are much more touchy than boys obviously, but even the slightest touch (except macho slapping of the back) will result in a bellowing "QUEER" from 99% of the male population in that vicinity :X Again, not if you're in a gay district..
-Yeah, it's polite to give up seats for old/disabled/pregnant people on a bus.. we're not completely cold hearted
-Allllllways say Please and thank you. We see all the other countries as quite..impolite if they dont say their p's and q's for every little thing. I read that some countries don't think for trivial things..but we do!! Thank us
-One last thing..if you ask a brit "how are you" s/he will invariable say "fine" even if their entire world is falling apart. British people will not burden you with their problems unless you're unfortunate enough to be a good friend Something to do with our stiff upper lip be careful if you do open a brit's pandora's box though..spare at least 2 weeks for it :)

[Ariki]

In Polynesia it's fairly different to Europe.

- If you drop by when we're eating we invite you to come inside and join us. It's considered impolite to send people away hungry and thirsty. It's apart of Polynesian hospitality to look after our friends and acquaintances.
- The formal way of greeting people in Polynesia is the 'hongi'. In Aotearoa, this is where two people will press noses. It's a symbol of equality and unity. Hongi means 'to smell' but also 'to kiss'. It's common for women to kiss women on the cheeks, and men to kiss women on the cheeks, but not men kiss other men on the cheek. It's nothing to do with homophobia or anything.
- It's rude to sit on pillows or cushions. If you see cushions, you use them for your head or back as these are considered sacred areas while your rear is considered as perverse.
- We don't have a problem with people being late because we believe things will be done when they are meant to be done.
- In Tahiti (and this was common in Aotearoa years ago) if you're walking on the road don't be surprised if someone in a car stops by and offers you a lift. Also, if you're in a car, and you see a hitch hiker, you offer them a lift too.
- It's rude to say no to a request unless you have a really good reason to reject that request.
- It's ok to eat with hands and fingers. If forks and spoons are provided, they should be used instead.
- Also, when at a feast, you should try to eat as much as you can. It's a sign of appreciation to the host for all the food they've cooked.
- Generally people call each other by their first names but this varies from island group to island group as some have interacted more with Europeans. Generally however, they agree that traditionally it is ok to refer to parents by their first names and not by 'dad' or 'mum'. We rarely use titles in addressing people, and if we do, it's usually referring to the group and not to any individual in particular.
- There is no need to say please or thank you as this always indicated by the tone of voice. However, due to European, there are words for please and thank you now, but these, are seldom used.
- when someone enters your house, you always offer them food and drink. The elderly and visitors are offered first before you get any for yourself.
- it is considered rude to pat someone on the head as the head is sacred. Also, do not stop over other people as not only is this bad manners (and you risk falling over), you are also actively proclaiming your mana (spiritual ethos) is higher than theirs.
-Don't enter the house or the wharenui (our traditional meeting house) with shoes on. Also, don't eat in the toilets or in the wharenui.

[Guest]

In Italy, it is not unusual for men to kiss each other. I am from Northern Italy and here it's common to kiss male relatives or close friends but I think that in Southern Italy men kiss each other more often.
I would like to point out that I own a discussion group about the social custom of kissing on the cheeks in Europe: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kissing-cheeks-europe. All Europeans are invited to join (Russians, Georgians, Armenians, Azeris and Turks included).

[mikebond]

In Italy, it is not unusual for men to kiss each other. I am from Northern Italy and here it's common to kiss male relatives or close friends but I think that in Southern Italy men kiss each other more often.
I would like to point out that I own a discussion group about the social custom of kissing on the cheeks in Europe: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kissing-cheeks-europe. All Europeans are invited to join (Russians, Georgians, Armenians, Azeris and Turks included).

I had forgotten to log in before posting this message. My name is Michele, I'm a 21 y/o boy from Italy.

[Guest]

I'll write about kissing on the cheeks in Italy. First of all, I'm from Northern Italy and it is said that we "cold people" kiss less than Southern Italians. It can be true, but I have never experienced it.
It is not very common here to kiss people every time you meet them, apart from relatives, who can kiss every day they meet (both when meeting and when saying goodbye or only in one of these circumstances). Friends who meet every day (e.g. at school) don't always kiss, but only on special circumstances. Anyway, it seems to me that kissing is spreading little by little and it's becoming more common to kiss even people you don't know well; this applies more to women than to men.
Women kiss each other, women kiss men but men usually don't kiss each other (unless they're relatives or close friends; personally, I sometimes kiss my father, grand-father, cousins and uncles but I am not accustomed to kiss friends, I mean to exchange real kisses, not just putting our cheeks close). The number of kisses can be two, which is by far the most frequent, three or, much more rarely, four. When I was at school, I kissed my girl mates three times and I also sometimes kiss one of my aunts three times but in other cases, it's two kisses. If you don't know, two kisses are ok.
Anyway, it isn't uncommon in Northern Italy to shake hands: women can shake hands to women and men, especially if they don't know each other well.
I think this is all for now. Join my group "Kissing on the cheeks in Europe"! The weblink is in the previous message.

[mikebond]

I'll write about kissing on the cheeks in Italy. First of all, I'm from Northern Italy and it is said that we "cold people" kiss less than Southern Italians. It can be true, but I have never experienced it.
It is not very common here to kiss people every time you meet them, apart from relatives, who can kiss every day they meet (both when meeting and when saying goodbye or only in one of these circumstances). Friends who meet every day (e.g. at school) don't always kiss, but only on special circumstances. Anyway, it seems to me that kissing is spreading little by little and it's becoming more common to kiss even people you don't know well; this applies more to women than to men.
Women kiss each other, women kiss men but men usually don't kiss each other (unless they're relatives or close friends; personally, I sometimes kiss my father, grand-father, cousins and uncles but I am not accustomed to kiss friends, I mean to exchange real kisses, not just putting our cheeks close). The number of kisses can be two, which is by far the most frequent, three or, much more rarely, four. When I was at school, I kissed my girl mates three times and I also sometimes kiss one of my aunts three times but in other cases, it's two kisses. If you don't know, two kisses are ok.
Anyway, it isn't uncommon in Northern Italy to shake hands: women can shake hands to women and men, especially if they don't know each other well.
I think this is all for now. Join my group "Kissing on the cheeks in Europe"! The weblink is in the previous message.

Again, I have posted a message without logging in. Sorry!

[Munin]

In Belgium men kiss eachother, we drink beer in public and we say we gotta pee when we want to go to the bathroom.

The only thing I found strange in Germany (Cologne) was that people take a beer from their house to the bar and drink it on their way over, and leave the empty can or bottle in the bar.

[Kubi]

The only thing I found strange in Germany (Cologne) was that people take a beer from their house to the bar and drink it on their way over, and leave the empty can or bottle in the bar.

Actually I would find that strange, too. I've never done such a thing, and I don't know anyone who would. You've probably found some strange person(s), but I wouldn't say that's normal German behaviour...

[Car]

The only thing I found strange in Germany (Cologne) was that people take a beer from their house to the bar and drink it on their way over, and leave the empty can or bottle in the bar.

Actually I would find that strange, too. I've never done such a thing, and I don't know anyone who would. You've probably found some strange person(s), but I wouldn't say that's normal German behaviour...

I agree. The only group where I could imagine such a thing are those people who are already almost drunk before a football match, for example. So people who drink way too much anyway.

[Egein]

we must never say "tu" to someone that's not your age (older) if you don't or even do unless it's clear you can.

it's said that we are supposed to go to the toilets to fart.

We never brush out teeth in public

We can blow our nose were ever we want

i think people are suposed to use formal speach with their step mothers and fathers

We don't speak to strangers.

that's about it...

We're pretty much of a cold nation in here, no one talks to no one.

Quebec, it is.

but still, we're independent and nice and marginal.

[CoBB]

A peculiar one from Hungary: don't clink your glasses if they are filled with beer. Actually this is not specifically forbidden, but you might still get some angry looks. It comes from the 1848-49 revolution: the Austrians celebrated the executions of the Arad martyrs with beer, and the act of clinking with this popular beverage was cursed for 150 years. Some say it's just a legend; it penetrated everyday life nevertheless. Although the curse 'expired' five years ago, the customs didn't change.

[Weldal]

A peculiar one from Hungary: don't clink your glasses if they are filled with beer.

How do Hungarians celebrate anything while drinking beer ?