The Eurovision Song Contest Thread

[md0]

I'm shocked to find out that we don't already have an active ESC thread. I was a lapsed Eurovision fan until last year, but now I follow the competition again.

This year the contest is taking place in Italy on the 10th, 12th, and 14th of May. A few countries already selected their entries, and some national competitions will take place in the coming weeks.

My hope for this year is to see both more linguistic diversity and less radio-friendliness. Last year's Top 5 included four songs in languages other than English and some less represented music genres.

Of the songs currently nominated, I only liked Moldova's three minutes of pure honorarily-Balkan fun
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLq5i8ng4KLzN3mYsOsvhCeJV8YHnaShoI

Expecting something really good from Finland, as mentioned in the music thread. Fingers crossed for Ram pam pam (it first has to win Finland's national competition).

[Linguaphile]

Great timing for this thread! Estonian final selection began about an hour ago, currently livestreaming right now:
Eesti Laul 2022 Finaal

[Linguaphile]

So now it's decided: Estonia's submission is Stefan's country-fusion song Hope:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rkYMdi1x0Y

[vijayjohn]

I'm shocked to find out that we don't already have an active ESC thread.

Eurovision has a history of not being a particularly popular topic of discussion on UniLang due to its sharp lack of linguistic diversity. It also used to be difficult to follow since we used to have our own spinoff of the ESC called the FSC, which just stands for "Forum Song Contest" and was much more diverse as the rules required every song to be in a different language variety.

[md0]

So now it's decided: Estonia's submission is Stefan's country-fusion song Hope

Good choice for Estonia. He has a great voice.

Eurovision has a history of not being a particularly popular topic of discussion on UniLang due to its sharp lack of linguistic diversity.

That has been indeed true for many decades. ESC is very much always swayed by trends though, hence my prediction that last year's great success for non-English songs will encourage more countries to do the same.

[Linguaphile]

So now it's decided: Estonia's submission is Stefan's country-fusion song Hope

Good choice for Estonia. He has a great voice.

He does. To be honest the first time I heard the song, I hated it. I've never been a fan of westerns (spaghetti or otherwise), and that's what the song is modeled after. Criticisms of the song have been that he mumbles (he does!) and that the cowboys have to go (I agree). But those are both things that can be worked on and improved. Anyway, it's the "hope" chorus that gets stuck in my head, not the country-western bits, so I've grown to like it quite a bit more. And usually when songs get stuck in my head, everything but the chorus is mumbled in my head anyway.

Eurovision has a history of not being a particularly popular topic of discussion on UniLang due to its sharp lack of linguistic diversity.

That has been indeed true for many decades. ESC is very much always swayed by trends though, hence my prediction that last year's great success for non-English songs will encourage more countries to do the same.

That would be good. Estonia hasn't had an Estonian-language song at Eurovision since 2013 and their one first-place song, in 2001, was in English (although back in 2004 they even had an entry in Võro - and it was good - but it failed to qualify). It would have been cool to have an Estonian-language entry again, but only four of the top ten candidates for Estonia were in Estonian this year.
I see Eurovision more as a cultural event than a linguistic one, but it's still fun to follow.

[md0]

I guess I have to root for Germany now, and my, they don't make it easy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fG6J_DIUPM

Full songs

- eros atomus - "alive": the only remarkable thing about the song is that the singer speaks 7 languages

- Felicia Lu - "Anxiety": it's the best of the bunch and it will get my vote in the national selection

- Maël & Jonas - "I Swear To God": skippable

- Emily Roberts - "Soap": it contains the lyric "I gotta wash my brain with // Soap" I also don't know why they in the US

- Nico Suave & Team Liebe - "Hallo Welt": This feels like the song Germany would actually sent to be honest. I don't hate it, but it's a certain last-place-zero-points.

- Malik Harris - "Rockstars": It's the same thing as Czechia last year - it's a song that would come up on the radio and be forgotten the moment the next song comes up

In summary, if Germany cares about getting some points, then Anxiety. If it's just nice to be part of the tradition, then Hallo Welt.

[vijayjohn]

Estonia hasn't had an Estonian-language song at Eurovision since 2013 and their one first-place song, in 2001, was in English (although back in 2004 they even had an entry in Võro - and it was good - but it failed to qualify). It would have been cool to have an Estonian-language entry again

I wish Ireland would perform more songs in Irish and Malta would participate again in Maltese even though both countries did terribly the last time (or, in Ireland's case, the only time) they did this.

[Naava]

Expecting something really good from Finland, as mentioned in the music thread. Fingers crossed for Ram pam pam (it first has to win Finland's national competition).

Bad news to you - Ram pam pam got to place #3 in the UMK. The winner was The Rasmus.

[md0]

Oh, that's unfortunate. Totally forgot about it with everything that has been happening, but to hear it didn't even come second is surprising.

[awrui]

This is Norway's song. It's a joke song, but the other ones in the competition were extremely boring.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJjo8s3fKUM

[md0]

Serbia really understood the assignment, I love this. And I also get some Marina Abramović vibes from the whole stage setup, so really on-point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po7HDHTBBE0

[md0]

Now that all the song are out, it's time for my hot-takes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrOaYo3I-9A

► Show Spoiler

🇦🇱 Albania One of the three songs in this medley is good, but I don't care for the other two
🇦🇲 Armenia Nothing special, but listenable
🇦🇺 Australia Australia has no place in ESC, I refuse to acknowledge this
🇦🇹 Austria There's potential here, let's see what they do on stage
🇦🇿 Azerbaijan Insert bathroom break here
🇧🇪 Belgium I zoned out
🇧🇬 Bulgaria How do you do, fellow kids? Only meme potential here
🇭🇷 Croatia Gets better the more you listen to it
🇨🇾 Cyprus So-so. I have to give some points for finally sending something that actually sounds Cypriot
🇨🇿 Czech Republic Forgettable
🇩🇰 Denmark Not strong enough, but I like it
🇪🇪 Estonia A breath of fresh air, really make you sing along
🇫🇮 Finland Cheap exploitation of my teenage nostalgia, truly horrible lyrics, damn good singing
🇫🇷 France The true spiritual successor to Shum from last year, this is wild
🇬🇪 Georgia No. Bad.
🇩🇪 Germany Tja
🇬🇷 Greece You could do so much better, Greece
🇮🇸 Iceland Zoned out again
🇮🇪 Ireland Forgettable
🇮🇱 Israel Forgettable
🇮🇹 Italy Technically good, unbearably sad
🇱🇻 Latvia Trying too hard to be a meme, only slightly better than Norway
🇱🇹 Lithuania I'd love to be in the boîte she's singing at, she owns the room
🇲🇹 Malta Stop sending the same song every year, Malta
🇲🇩 Moldova Pure Balkan fun and trains? You know I love it.
🇲🇪 Montenegro Let's see how it is on stage, some potential
🇳🇱 Netherlands Nothing special but it's sweet, I like it
🇲🇰 North Macedonia An anthem for ending all toxic relationships everywhere, love it
🇳🇴 Norway Thanks, I hate it.
🇵🇱 Poland Most macabre lyrics award, but low-key like it
🇵🇹 Portugal Please try to pretend like you want to be there
🇷🇴 Romania Hit of the summer, I'm sure, but not for me
🇸🇲 San Marino The Måneskin we have at home... trying way too hard
🇷🇸 Serbia BITI ZDRAVA BITI ZDRAVA BITI ZDRAVA BIT BIT BITI ZDRAVA
🇸🇮 Slovenia They are way too good for Junior ESC so I'm glad we have them here
🇪🇸 Spain It's growing on me, let's see
🇸🇪 Sweden Back to the usual Swedish recipe, I see. Boring.
🇨🇭 Switzerland Good message, he didn't quite find the right tone yet
🇺🇦 Ukraine Good song, but you can't do the same thing twice in a row, it's a bad look
🇬🇧 United Kingdom People say this is good. I don't see it

Serbia and North Macedonia are my most played songs. I don't think either is winning, but I'll be real mad if Serbia does not finish in the Top 5.

My hunch is that France could be taking it home this year, and Ukraine and Finland will be the runner-ups, order uncertain. Hopefully then Serbia 4th.

[md0]

Disappointing production from RAI, I have to say
The audio mixing was horrible the entire show and the camera direction wasn't much better.

[Naava]

I've started to like France a lot, but Ukraine and Iceland were nice too. Glad to see them in grand final! I'm also glad I don't have to see that vegetable song again.

[md0]

I'm with you. I hated the salad song. The only one I ranked lower was Switzerland's.

My watch group's Top 10 was (bold Q, strike NQ)
Austria
Lithuania
Moldova
Portugal
Denmark
Netherlands
Greece
Ukraine
Norway
Croatia

For me personally:
Lithuania
Denmark
Austria
Moldova
Croatia
Portugal
Netherlands
Slovenia
Ukraine
Norway

Of my favourites that didn't qualify, I think I'm more disappointed about Denmark, which I ranked second. Reddi seemed to me like they were one of the few performers who actually had fun being on stage.

I liked Austria and Slovenia too, but the performances were admittedly very weak tonight.

Thursday is definitely going to be more fun, there's much stronger entries there.

[Naava]

I'm with you. I hated the salad song. The only one I ranked lower was Switzerland's.

The Finnish commentator just said something like "it's the year 2022 and the double entendres have finally arrived in Latvia"...

For me personally:
Lithuania
Denmark
Austria
Moldova
Croatia
Portugal
Netherlands
Slovenia
Ukraine
Norway

I'm a bit sad Slovenia didn't qualify. I liked the old(ish) vibe they had.

[md0]

How did you find Norway's song? It was a bit more interesting as a performance but still... try-hard, I guess (or is it just me that found the lyrics very sexualised?). I don't mind laying on the innuendo thick (I unironically love UK 2017) but it can be really hit-and-miss.

For Slovenia, I think their stage presence was their weak point tonight. They shrivelled and hid behind the disco ball, at some point they practically disappeared from view.
I totally understand it though, they are children, it must have been terrifying up there. I think I can contrast them to Lithuania's performance - Monika owned the entire stage without even taking a single step.

PS. Germany's commentary track is so dull. It's like he's afraid he'll be sued for libel if he makes a joke.

[Naava]

How did you find Norway's song? It was a bit more interesting as a performance but still... try-hard, I guess (or is it just me that found the lyrics very sexualised?). I don't mind laying on the innuendo thick (I unironically love UK 2017) but it can be really hit-and-miss.

Well, to be honest, I didn't like it. I can appreciate it for being weird, which is always welcome in Eurovision, but that's it. And no, you're not the only one who thought the lyrics were sexualised. I just wished they had not been singing about eating your grandmother...

[awrui]

How did you find Norway's song? It was a bit more interesting as a performance but still... try-hard, I guess (or is it just me that found the lyrics very sexualised?). I don't mind laying on the innuendo thick (I unironically love UK 2017) but it can be really hit-and-miss.

That tix-dude is a generally disgusting guy, but I honestly think that that song was not meant in a sexual way, but rather a try on some Ylvis-esque "funny" music.

But what the hell was up with Albania?