Ok, but I'm an atheist. So...
...so your destiny is to feel that loneliness.
I know. But to me that's how reality is and I can't feel like believing in a religion just to comfort myself...
I also think that it can temporarily be gone when you are in love, but it will keep coming back because well, it's the basic condition, right?
I don't know, maybe that's an illusion too, but I don't know if I've ever been really in love, certainly not mutual. But yes in my theory it comes back, maybe even while you are with that person.
I actually only post this to have a legal reason to say how much I like darkina's new avatar. I love those "meneertjes en mevrouwtjes", we had books of them and I still remember that when I was on holiday in England we had pasta that looked like them
England is so great. I also saw someone wear a T-shirt of it on television and now I want one too but I don't know where to buy it (in the Netherlands).
I bought myself that book for 99p (hm in euros? 1,50 maybe?). To remind myself of how naughty I am lol
Glowim: they're little books for children
I didn't know they had them outside of the UK!
Talking about love: how does it influences our identity? Does it help us to know who we are?I think it changes us a lot. If you have someone with you, he/she can really help to know you, explaining his opinion about your acts. And in the meanwhile, as every expirience, it changes us... What do you think about it?
I don't know, I am not really sure I want to talk about it.
Maybe it influences us but not always in the right way, how much of us is our "real" self and how much do we absorb from the other person? If you're with someone who likes, say, climbing, you will get into climbing and then when you leave him you think why the hell did I spend so much time climbing, I find it boring
And yes I don't think there's one and only one "other half", and if there is, or there's a few, how do you find him/her/them among 6 billion people?
I'm at work too, but I decided to find the time...
Actually, I'm alone in the room this days (and I feel soooo well!!!!), and this brings me a "vacation feeling"... Hoping my bosses won't notice it!
We're only allowed to use the internet between 12 and 2 so I don't want to get into conversations. I also don't like to use forums when I'm not at home, but I do sometimes because these days I'm so bored... it feels like summer even here, not much to do.
Vogelvrij wrote: and that can be very learnful (is that a word?).
I doubt it's a word but I like it and it gets the point across perfectly
Vogelvrij wrote:will get married on your twentieth and have two children and stuff
Here, another thing that make me feel old...
In these months, a lot of friends of mine are going to have children, are going to marry (saturday I have to go to a wedding). And I feel VEEEEERY old!!!!
Same here. My best friend is getting married soon. I don't feel old for that reason, I wouldn't want to marry or have children, especially now, but I feel very confused and
Omg the first thing you mention makes me nervous, hehe. But then I think: why is it a sad situation to stay with someone just because you don't want to be lonely? If it's your own choice, it can't be wrong, if you stay, there has to be something good in it, right?
Well people can do what they want but I think it's a bit wrong. You link yourself to someone for fear, and don't go and explore the world. And it's not worth stopping just for fear of challenging yourself...
I don't think everyone can experience Great Love in their life, that's just what western thought wants us to belief
I'm still very touchy about this issue
And don't feel old! What I was trying to say, is that the first option isn't better then the second. Do you really think people who marry so young are much happier than you? Because I certainly think that that's not true, they just have a different kind of life. Why would it be a better one? They are all attached and bound and I don't know, they have to pay attention that everyone is happy and stuff.
I am also puzzled about people marrying really young, because - and this is back on topic - I think at 20 you're a very different person than at 30, and settling so young you don't give yourself the chance to fully develop. I have seen a lot of people in their 30s regretting having been in a big relationship in their 20s, and not having done the silly things you do at 20, because they were too busy with one person (and I don't mean sleeping around, I mean travelling and living an independent life). My love life might be s**t but at least I made up for it by travelling and living different experiences...
You're talking about lying to oneself and that's an interesting thing. Because I tend to think that you can't lie to yourself: what you say to yourself, is how you want to see yourself and therefore it is who you are. Like: if you keep telling yourself you're a nice person and you really think so, then it feels like a part of your identity, right?
But I know that this isn't true, there seems to be something deep inside us where there's some kind of hidden truth, wether I want to believe in such thing or not. And if we lie to ourself, it comes back in all kind of stupid things (stomach aches
And finally, back on topic!!!
This was precisely my point at the beginning. Is it true that you can't lie to yourself???
Sometimes I want something but I try to convince myself that I don't want it, because for external reasons I think it's wrong, but when I started doing it I realise that I started because deep down I wanted it and I can't be stopped once started... (example: going to study in the UK)
But at the same time I wonder, is it true that deep down I want it, or am I fooling myself?
Would another person's opinion matter, or they don't know enough to be able to assess the situation perfectly?
Queen Ehlana wrote:
Thank you, Vogelivrij and Glowim, for the respectful discussion.
And thanks, darky, for trying. I forgive you and I'm sorry... this is really silly, you know.
Well thanks for trying but I still think you should respect people wanting to know it from outside, which is still better than people judging without knowing. Anyway I understand your points and I only think that you will feel differently once you're more advanced in your own discovery, which I have heard is very long and difficult - so definitely not something for someone with a fear of commitment like me.