A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

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A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Kēwēkamē » 2011-12-10, 1:58

Here's a new challenge for conlangers who have some spare time. Five words. Two sentences.

Lord of the Rings. Translate.

Well, okay, not the whole thing. Unless you have that much spare time (I think this will be my main project for the next year or so...) why not just the first few paragraphs? How would it look? How would it sound? What about other famous first paragraphs? What would some of the greatest literary works of all time be like in your conlangs? Here's a few from Evel


The Fellowship of the Ring - Prologue, Paragraph 1:

Mek selador Habitõau mēmēnan’ā lulù, ae belok loseladorno sesedõ, seku-malēkē loHabitõno skošemelau ganḕ ae fureloēau kerin-rosdɾ’ā, zus āl’ā su lolo ilʒa. Wīkõ farìn kerin-setdɾ’ā ēnē swamko belòk El Seladoroē Albēon Jekīvundèkēn-mēna, zus publišat-setsk’ā uk mek sērēs: “El Habit”. Mak selerkē momoxõoēau farìn brekà sù El Selador Albēon gurunam-setsk’ā, zus Bilbouēoē sukēt-setsk’ā, zus on-sk’ā Habit kenomìk āl’ā rara ēnḕ kwa vēvḕ. Momoxõ limuē “Va ae Mēanos Manàr”au pahējun-setsk’ā, vanu alõ wīlum-sk’ā su limno famlēoē ēnḕ Rak-Plunde, ae su limno mēonoē, zusõŋ on-sk’ā rikwanoē, zus Habitõau farèn mēmēnan-sk’ā olbrḕ, ìn katasõoē vērès sù mak kala, zus wīlum-set’a junò.
This book greatly concerns Hobbits, and from the book’s pages, the reader will possibly find a little of Hobbits’ history and much about their [collective] character. More information will be found in the selection from the Red Book of Westmarch, which has already been published with this title: “The Hobbit”. That story was comprised of the earlier chapters of the Red Book, which were written by Bilbo, who was the first Hobbit to be famous in the rest of the world. The chapters were called by him “Away and Back Again”, because they told about his journey and about his return, which was an adventure that later involved every hobbit, during the great events of that time which are here told.


Chapter 1, Paragraph 1:

Kalaya Bilbo Bagins belòk Wuzekyen vestahaden-sk'ā su avēkoē ʒel lim aʒu limno mēþa kenõŋkèn bubù, zus šaken uk avēku yanà tētēpù, wala ae zinza furèl āl-sk'ā ēnē Habitkēn.
When Bilbo Baggins of Bag End made an announcement about his celebration of his eleventy-first birthday with an especially significant party, much talk and excitement was in Hobbiton.



What about some other famous books? Alice in Wonderland? David Copperfield? Gulliver's Travels? The Three Musketeers? They've all been translated into a dozen languages... so why not yours?
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ashucky » 2011-12-10, 3:43

OMG, so I'm not the only one who's been thinking of translating The Lord of the Rings into their conlang(s)! :) Awesome. I think I'll translate the above paragraphs tomorrow, if everything goes as planned. :)
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Dormouse559 » 2011-12-10, 6:38

It'll take me awhile to translate this, but here's the first sentence in Mirona:

Trœzerà godeny gjarazhà i Habitydi; het hushœwû avy sizhà gjere predwe kœnine het pîsrina mashi kœnina, het âby dû fibadhi dû trœzer.

By the way, how do you two say "The Lord of the Rings" in Evelēranēl and Laefêvëši?
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby language learner » 2011-12-10, 8:34

Kēwēkamē wrote:This book greatly concerns Hobbits, and from the book’s pages, the reader will possibly find a little of Hobbits’ history and much about their [collective] character.

More information will be found in the selection from the Red Book of Westmarch, which has already been published with this title: “The Hobbit”.

That story was comprised of the earlier chapters of the Red Book, which were written by Bilbo, who was the first Hobbit to be famous in the rest of the world.

The chapters were called by him “Away and Back Again”, because they told about his journey and about his return, which was an adventure that later involved every hobbit, during the great events of that time which are here told.


Tig knig hzaso;ge znaccitoj Hobijxt maj stranu;jscehr knigg-gor at ccated vo;rjatajn fnmo;rsse mnal storiss Hobijxtor maj mnol nravberr do;r.

Mnolel vestess fnmo;rssmecc ot fzbranissccim Reggdehr Buxk Westmarccor fext zan fzdadxmicc ot zaglavessccaj "Ot Hobit".

Nticc storicc xsdyrzze ranajv glajv Reggdor Buxk fejxt fpssyxmaib Bilbofpehr fecc paomess Hobixt fstavxmecc zvestess ot fwstavxmo;xtim svo;xt.

At glajb fnriccxmajv essccehr "Dleccen maj wbraton zolpaj" fohr fkzxo; pytufperr der maj zavyrnufperr der fext do;n rikljuccnecc fext dwu;neln xvkljucce pol Hobixt vo;lessccon sbitessc nto;vbor vro;vb fejxt dom rakzyrnecc.
Kēwēkamē wrote:When Bilbo Baggins of Bag End made an announcement about his celebration of his eleventy-first birthday with an especially significant party, much talk and excitement was in Hobbiton.

Fon Bilbop Begins Bagg-gamr End fzajavxe praznuf papapaomor rozzdesc essccor dosto;j znaccitosc praznvosc mnol wbsyduf maj vylnruf me Hobitonom.

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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ashucky » 2011-12-10, 17:09

Dormouse559 wrote:By the way, how do you two say "The Lord of the Rings" in Evelēranēl and Laefêvëši?

"The Lord of the Rings" is "Oskônt amántasa" ('Oskônt amánt-asa' = lord ring-GEN.PL) in Laefêvëši.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ashucky » 2011-12-10, 19:26

Well, I was bored a bit so I did this:

Image

Front cover pages of all three books translated into Laefêvëši. :)
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ceresz » 2011-12-10, 19:47

Now I kinda want to do this... I might just try translating the first chapter sometime.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Dormouse559 » 2011-12-11, 3:04

Ashucky wrote:Well, I was bored a bit so I did this:
...
Front cover pages of all three books translated into Laefêvëši. :)
I went and added my translations onto your covers. Unfortunately, I don't know how to put it in an image like that, so I made a pdf.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ashucky » 2011-12-11, 3:28

Those translations look really cool! :) I made mine in Inkscape and then just saved it like that, btw.

Also, I've finished the translations of those two excerpts! :whoo:

Oskônt amántase: Atvőnnølly amántau - Aóman: Hôbbistasally
Nárali dóke híjanarøto hôbbistasku. Vrétaške dók níonva afíllilvovó rǿtǿlaraskuþimo lin ǿralejníškekħina. Lylántasaþani čü tasínirøvó ćíntali Wášnárade Sélþóðandade, ak vatálēvøy tumánadu Hôbbist. Pólikē ešéla raʒéšidói olléjasta kjäivekū Wášnárade, nivíimmā Bíltvolo, aśíffā hôbbistau, ak ǯulíeklaleso minârrūgëj. Jâm ešélada jaklássesloi Álk u víramerjâ, arê híjalaso dǿríniviki vevéttū li xynóavidi: varcûnta, ak sëŗêlasøymû xýlje hôbbistase wárivantêšla síf íatau, práiðði híjadassøxî.
Original text: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - Prologue: Concerning Hobbits
This book is largely concerned with Hobbits, and from its pages a reader may discover much of their character and a little of their history. Further information will also be found in the selection of the Red Book of Westmarch that has already been published, under the title of
The Hobbit. That story was derived from the earlier chapters of the Red Book, composed by Bilbo himself, the first Hobbit to become famous in the world at large, and called by him There and Back Again, since they told of his journey into the East and his return: an adventure which later involved all the Hobbits in the great events of that age that are here related.


Oskônt amántase: Atvőnnølly amántau - 1. olléj: Olóinboláridi lätaw
Su ðúnt Bílvo Daúrrevi Daúrrevuvánnu hyppýlevoi, njê têcialivožê þíśáldinaśídikø márinníttada lätawþiodu četħáiþþā, jǿi Hôbbitonnē wárom híjantau li zakôrinau.
Original text: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - Chapter I: A Long-expected Party
When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.



NOTE: I provided the original texts which I translated from, not back-translations from Laefêvëši.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Kēwēkamē » 2011-12-11, 18:29

The Lord of the Rings: Ordalo Okēõ-mēna

The Fellowship of the Ring: Tete Okḕ

The Two Towers: Tatekõŋ

The Return of the King: Mēona Ʒel Ordalo


Those translations look awesome, Ashucky! Your conlang looks almost archaic, as if the book was intended to be written in it and it's some kind of lost manuscript.


I think I'll continue translating it paragraph by paragraph when I have time. Here's more of the prologue:

Ēel: furel dīvoēau su mekõ vanõ kukilà tēmon-ros’ā ēnḕ sanēma, ēla šasekõ-malēkē seladorau brekà zan aren-ros’ā. To makõ sekõ-malēkē, susõ ganḕ beþèl lulù jojan-set’ā junò belòk sewelo Habit-mēna, ae rikwana kenomìk munal-set’ā lētà.
However, many may want, from the beginning, more knowledge about these remarkable people, while some readers may not possess the earlier book. For those readers, a few notes on the very important points are gathered here from the lore of the Hobbits, and the first adventure is briefly recalled.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Dormouse559 » 2011-12-12, 2:24

Wow! That was...exhausting, but seeing the results, I feel really proud. :) I'll wait a bit before translating the other paragraph, partly because Mironese has a strange number system and coming up with an equivalent for "eleventy-first" will be interesting to say the least.

Privjœwû dûn Ôdy: Shutrœda dûn Ôt – Ñumashà: Habitydi Alîm
Trœzerà godeny gjarazhà i Habitydi; het hushœwû avy sizhà gjere predwe kœnine het pîsrina mashi kœnina, het âby dû fibadhi dû trœzarà. Gjeder îhasheda âbuts sizhà îm ozhutrœdjezît ku hushedhût dû Kimtrœzerà dû Lâzuthà, het ivu gatriats Habitu. Mashà ivim emery dû kanîzi luhhydhi dû Kimtrœzerà, ûgafizerà sur Bildy, kani far-mihar-ur-môda Habitu, het gatrizjemà sur hi Fi het Si Nazhà, hiesà idheruttâ in-iwa ûdeny hît alîm het nimadhût hît alîm; ûdeny ivî avery Habitùe kâvotto het îmedhery îm garti idhizarti-fi œrupsydi dô ñepuk ivimu.

Original text: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - Prologue: Concerning Hobbits
This book is largely concerned with Hobbits, and from its pages a reader may discover much of their character and a little of their history. Further information will also be found in the selection of the Red Book of Westmarch that has already been published, under the title of
The Hobbit. That story was derived from the earlier chapters of the Red Book, composed by Bilbo himself, the first Hobbit to become famous in the world at large, and called by him There and Back Again, since they told of his journey into the East and his return: an adventure which later involved all the Hobbits in the great events of that age that are here related.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ashucky » 2011-12-12, 23:46

Kēwēkamē wrote:Those translations look awesome, Ashucky! Your conlang looks almost archaic, as if the book was intended to be written in it and it's some kind of lost manuscript.

Thanks. :blush: I wonder if I can (read: have time to) translate the rest into my conlang ...

Guys, there's something missing we should've translated in the first place ... the poem about the Rings of Power and the One Ring!

Here's my translation into Laefêvëši:
Amántelišo báutøst laráelly nej ôrōlou,
âleišo oskôntøst lâšeelly ǿrneáivjâzišli,
farášo ōšimêþøst, akkes sávridói áryvøøn
ýśa üttúoskôntøst űjmüttúlerjántuki
wináli Mórdor, sêō aíexiš uvémano.
Amántyvi mâŗiavøønnaa ske, amántyvi tasívyynnaa se,
amántyvi aláwlaannaa ske li sînili vásvøønnaa se

wináli Mórdor, sêō aíexiš uvémano.

Original text:
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Kēwēkamē » 2011-12-13, 1:23

Oh, I am such an idiot! :blush: Of COURSE we have to do that!

Dahr Okēõ lono Ordalõ-elvè telēnàn-tenor,
Þor lono Ordalõ-zeltēwèn ēnḕ lalino alkēõ dudɾòn,
Kenken lono Hyumanõ jèn rēnà,
Ken lono Kosjēkaþḕ bèrn limno gorgalo kaþḕ
Ēnḕ Mordorkēn varjruà ordõ axem'ā.
Okē tà alõau farèn kojak'ā, Okē tà alõau kerin'ā,
Okē tà alõau farèn okalol'ā ae ēnḕ kaþē jowikin'ā,

Ēnḕ Mordorkēn varjruà ordõ axem'ā.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.


Hey... with a few tweaks and a little liberty with grammar, the rather poetic descriptions of the races, and the sentence about Mordor, I could actually make this rhyme!

Dahr Okēõ lono Ordalõ-elvè,
Þor lono Zeltēwenõ vēkunè,
Kenken lono Hyumanõ jèn rēnà,
Ken lono Kosjēkaþḕ garmelà.
Ēnḕ Mordorkēn ordõ axem'ā.
Okē tà alõau kerin'ā, Okē tà alõau kojak'ā,
Okē tà alõau okalol'ā ae ēnḕ kaþē jowik'ā.

Ēnḕ Mordorkēn ordõ axem'ā.

Three rings for the Elven-Kings,
Seven for the mountain Dwarves
Nine for the Humans doomed to die
One for the eternal Dark Lord.
In the Land of Mordor, shadows lie.
One ring to find them, one ring to rule them,
One ring to rule them and in the darkness bind them.

In the Land of Mordor, shadows lie.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ashucky » 2012-03-11, 0:51

This thread has been a bit quet so it's time to bring it back to life. :mrgreen:

Anyway, I've made a video, or rather, I subtitled a video in Laefêvëši - the prologue to the Fellowship of the Ring film. The video's available here: http://vimeo.com/38275983 (watch in HD 8-) I would've uploaded it on Youtube but they kept blocking it; stupid Warner Bros copyrights.

A transcription of the text can be found HERE.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Dormouse559 » 2012-03-11, 1:20

Wow, that looks great; Laefêvëši is beautiful as always. It also makes me want to watch the movie, since I haven't seen it yet.

EDIT: Two things:

1) You need to post more, Ashucky, because I like your conlangs, but it feels like you've disappeared lately (or are at least more absent than normal) :yep:

2) In the spirit of your revival of this thread, I've given my translation of the Prologue text a much-needed revamping
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ashucky » 2012-03-12, 1:12

Thanks! :) And yes, you should definitely watch all the films, they're amazing.

I'll try to be more active but my schedule is getting croweded (damn school). Even that translation took me several days to finish, I was doing it bit by bit. I was thinking of trying to translate a few other things to either Laefêvëši or some other conlang of mine ... but we'll see about that. :)

Waiting for your revamped translation of the Prologue now. :)
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Dormouse559 » 2012-03-12, 1:24

Ashucky wrote:Thanks! :) And yes, you should definitely watch all the films, they're amazing.
Hmm, I can (allow myself to) watch the first movie because I recently finished reading the first book, so I'll need to hurry up and get the other books if I want to watch all the movies.

Ashucky wrote:I'll try to be more active but my schedule is getting croweded (damn school). Even that translation took me several days to finish, I was doing it bit by bit. I was thinking of trying to translate a few other things to either Laefêvëši or some other conlang of mine ... but we'll see about that. :)
Yeah, school can be like that. Well, don't overload yourself, okay? :)

Ashucky wrote:Waiting for your revamped translation of the Prologue now. :)

Oy, I didn't mention, I simply edited the post I put my first translation in. Do you think I should just make a new post?
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Ashucky » 2012-03-12, 1:34

Dormouse559 wrote:Yeah, school can be like that. Well, don't overload yourself, okay? :)

Hehe, I'll try. If I disappear it's because I'm buried under a mountain of books and the like. :para:

Dormouse559 wrote:Waiting for your revamped translation of the Prologue now. :)
Oy, I didn't mention, I simply edited the post I put my first translation in. Do you think I should just make a new post?

Oh, okay. And yeah, maybe you could just make a new post, tis easier to find it that way. :)
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Dormouse559 » 2012-03-12, 1:52

Ashucky wrote:Oh, okay. And yeah, maybe you could just make a new post, tis easier to find it that way. :)
I'faith, 'tis. :P

I really like the current orthography because I think it makes the language look less like the Black Speech than the original orthography. :) Also, practically speaking, it's just a better, more consistent transcription.

Priviàhnû Ôdime: Syutröda Ôdem – Nyumasyà: Hobitüdi alem
Gâ tröziorà godionü giarazyà i Hobitüdi; xet xusyioru avü sizyà giere priodue gine xet pîsrinà masyi ginà, xet âbü dû fibaddi dû trözer. Gieder îhasyeda âbuz sizyà em ozyutrödugît fôtsal xusyiût Kimtrözioröm Lâzuttöm; if gatriaz Hobitu. Gâ masyà iomerü dû kanîzi luxüddi Kimtrözioröm mo gâ Bilbu, kanî buabinyar miher em môdà Hobitu, ôgaferü xet mo gatrerià Fi xet Nuhiomü gâ, xiesà idderüâ em syasykü ûdionü xît alem xet nühîsiût xît alem; ûdionü me averü Hobitüe kâvotso xet emiodderü ildal em garti iddizarti fi örupsüdi fi piehuelöm.

Original text: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - Prologue: Concerning Hobbits
This book is largely concerned with Hobbits, and from its pages a reader may discover much of their character and a little of their history. Further information will also be found in the selection of the Red Book of Westmarch that has already been published, under the title of
The Hobbit. That story was derived from the earlier chapters of the Red Book, composed by Bilbo himself, the first Hobbit to become famous in the world at large, and called by him There and Back Again, since they told of his journey into the East and his return: an adventure which later involved all the Hobbits in the great events of that age that are here related.
Last edited by Dormouse559 on 2012-03-16, 14:32, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: A Rather Tolkeinian Translation

Postby Kēwēkamē » 2012-03-12, 16:24

Wow, I'm amazed to see this post back from the dead...
I was well through the prologue of the translation, but have put Evelēranēl on the back burner for a while to work on Genljøŋ. Still, I have the first six or so paragraphs done. If you really want to listen to me reading it aloud (I sound awful in a microphone, messed up a few times... but it's as good as it's gonna get) with a transcript, here's the link: THE LINK

I'll be translating the One Ring poem into Genljøŋ soon enough, but it's proving to be a headache. Like so:

Dädaëlvetøigbesnmjërül gi nvël tundreð,
Dädadörðøgetønigbesnqel gi nvël tidrsönøtøvesteð,
...


"One Ring to rule them all" becomes "Ljinernitïttøvwïljmianärül". Eck. sometime later I'll finish and revise it so that it fits the syllable count, rhymes, and is a little less awkward. So much for a literal translation. Someone actually speaking the language would never in their right minds phrase it like this. The lines would all become full sentences, for one - "One ring is to rule them all", "Three rings are for the Elven-kings under the sky", etc. It would be far shorter. And it would be wonderful to split the longer words at the beginning, maybe something shorter than 'dörðøgë' to mean 'dwarf', a grammatically incorrect shortening like 'dörð' or the like. Oh yes, plenty of revising to do...
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