Antea-2021

[Antea]

So at this moment, these are the languages that I am studying and the current situation.

Just maintaining the level.

Activelly learning, but my level is still A2-B1, because other languages are interfering a lot with it.

I am also activelly learning it, but I am still a beginner.

I am learning the alphabet and some useful basic expressions.

I will begin to learn the alfabet on January.

[dEhiN]

When did you start picking up Georgian and Armenian?! Which languages are interfering with Hebrew? Would you consider putting them on hold until you improve your Hebrew, or putting Hebrew on hold until those other languages are at a higher level?

I decided to do that this year with Portuguese and Spanish. I put Spanish on hold to focus on Portuguese.

[Antea]

When did you start picking up Georgian and Armenian?! Which languages are interfering with Hebrew? Would you consider putting them on hold until you improve your Hebrew, or putting Hebrew on hold until those other languages are at a higher level?

I decided to do that this year with Portuguese and Spanish. I put Spanish on hold to focus on Portuguese.

I started with Georgian a month ago. For the moment I am just learning the basic things. I am studying this language through Russian , because this way I also aim to improve my level in this language, actually using it.

I have started this week wih Armenian, so I still don't know how it will go

Arabic and Persian are interfering with my Hebrew learning. I still don't know what to do. I am not really progressing in Hebrew, just maintaining, but I am afraid that if I put it on hold, I will lose a lot. But is it possible to learn a language if you are not reallying progressing in it?

[dEhiN]

I started with Georgian a month ago. For the moment I am just learning the basic things. I am studying this language through Russian , because this way I also aim to improve my level in this language, actually using it.

That's a smart idea! I tried doing that a few years ago; I bought an Assimil book for Tamil, Tamoul en poche, and was hoping to learn Tamil through French. But my French level was too low. While I could grasp the French, I also had to spend quite a bit of time looking up French linguistic terms. This did improve my French vocabulary, but it was very mentally tiring to learn new French terms and try to improve my French comprehension, and then also learn things in Tamil.

Arabic and Persian are interfering with my Hebrew learning. I still don't know what to do. I am not really progressing in Hebrew, just maintaining, but I am afraid that if I put it on hold, I will lose a lot. But is it possible to learn a language if you are not reallying progressing in it?

If you put it on hold, you probably will lose stuff, but I think it will also come back fairly quickly whenever you start up Hebrew again. While I did Swedish in the past, because I really just maintained my French with a little bit of Portuguese and Spanish these past 2-3 years, starting up Swedish again was a bit tough. However, I found things came back pretty quickly. For example, a lot of vocab and grammar concepts I had learned in the past, I just had to see it once to remember it.

What are you doing to maintain Hebrew now? Maybe things like watching Hebrew shows or listening to Hebrew music might help? That way you're not actively learning Hebrew, but you are in a sense using the Hebrew you know. You might still forget things, but chances are you won't forget as much as if you completely stopped?

[Antea]

I feel overwhelmed right now. I have to do so many language things, and I don’t have time.

I have to go back to Armenian, because for two weeks now I have had a lot of work and I couldn’t do anything. I should continue with Georgian, because if not, I am going to forget everything I have learned until now. And I also have to something to improve my Hebrew vocabulary. And of course, I should do some Persian homework and try to write a formal essay in Arabic just to push my level forward.

I don’t even know where to start

[dEhiN]

Remember: don't should all over yourself!

If you don't get it, it's a play on the phrase "don't shit all over yourself", meaning don't beat yourself up. In this case, the idea is don't make a bunch of "should" statements about yourself or your plans because usually phrasing things that way just leads to demotivation and being frozen from feeling overwhelmed.

Instead, try to realistically prioritize and use other words that convey urgency (for the tasks that are truly urgent) but also make you feel ready to take on those tasks. For example:

I have to go back to Armenian, because for two weeks now I have had a lot of work and I couldn’t do anything. I should continue with Georgian, because if not, I am going to forget everything I have learned until now. And I also have to something to improve my Hebrew vocabulary. And of course, I should do some Persian homework and try to write a formal essay in Arabic just to push my level forward.

Out of the five languages you mentioned (all of which you've written as " should" and "have to", making them all the highest priority!), I believe only Armenian and Georgian are at beginner levels, while Hebrew and Persian are probably at intermediate levels and I'm going to assume Arabic is at an advanced level if you're talking about writing a formal essay in it. So, then, I would probably consider Armenian and Georgian as having the highest priority, since you haven't been able to do anything for two weeks for them. I would start with those two and phrase it like this: I need to study some Armenian and Georgian because, for the last two weeks, I have had a lot of work and I wasn't able to do any language studies.

Next, it seems to me that the other 3 tasks are more "wants" than "needs". You would like to do something for Hebrew to improve your vocabulary, but it doesn't have to be right away since your Hebrew will more or less stay at the same level while you're focusing on your beginner languages. (You could also listen to things in Hebrew for when you need a break from Armenian and Georgian). The same is probably true for Persian, unless by homework you mean some work assigned to you by a teacher for a regular class. If it really matters whether you do the homework or not, then put the Persian homework as either highest priority, over Armenian and Georgian, or the same level as your beginner languages. If, however, it's work assigned by something like an italki teacher, chances are they'll be ok with you taking a little time, in which case I would either put the homework on the same priority level as Armenian and and Georgian, or just below it.

Lastly, the formal essay in Arabic, while definitely an ambitious task that sounds like a great way to improve your MSA writing skills, is probably the lowest priority right now as you're trying to get back into language studies. Again, though, it does depend on your reason for doing the essay. If it's just something you're doing to try and push yourself, then keep the idea on the back burner (if you don't know this expression, let me know and I can explain it). Then, once you've gotten back into some Armenian and Georgian, and perhaps finished your Persian homework as well as done a little study to improve your Hebrew vocabulary, start writing that formal essay.

Of couse, this is all meant to exemplify how to not "should' on yourself, but instead break things up and reword things to make them more manageable. I hope this helps.

[vijayjohn]

Remember: don't should all over yourself!

[dEhiN]

Remember: don't should all over yourself!

Have you never heard that before?

[vijayjohn]

Remember: don't should all over yourself!

Have you never heard that before?

Nope! People should all over themselves way too often. No wonder why our world is such a mess!

[dEhiN]

Have you never heard that before?

Nope! People should all over themselves way too often. No wonder why our world is such a mess!

It's funny, I asked you if you'd heard the phrase before though because I thought it was a common phrase! My girlfriend knows it and has used it with me, and so has my dad! In fact, I think I first heard it from my dad. So, apparently my girlfriend first heard it from a therapist she used to know (I think in her early 20s). I'm not sure how or where my dad got the phrase. But, because of these two disparate sources, I figured it was a common phrase used in either therapeutic circles and/or self-help circles. (My girlfriend used to do life coaching and would attend various self-help seminars and such 'to keep up with the craft'.) As such, I was going to add to my response that it's a common phrase. However, I didn't just in case it wasn't; it turns out I was right to hold off! I was talking with girlfriend about all this and she said that as far as she knows, the phrase itself isn't common. She'd never heard it in self-help circles and didn't believe it's used by therapists. Of course, the idea behind the phrase is known and spoken about.

But yeah, it's so tough I think in our modern world of instant, on-demand everything, to fall into the trap of both mixing up wants and needs, and then elevating it all to the status of need or must along with the belief that it all is of the highest priority. I think this affects even how we relate to others as well. For example, in business whenever an employee has a lot of work to do and has a supervisor who just piles on more and more, it could be a case of the supervisor doesn't know how to prioritize properly and is "shoulding" all over themselves, which they in turn pass down the line to their employee(s).

[vijayjohn]

I'm always surprised at how Westernized your family is. In my case, it was precisely my family that always enforces these nonsensical ideas of what you "should" do.

[dEhiN]

I'm always surprised at how Westernized your family is. In my case, it was precisely my family that always enforces these nonsensical ideas of what you "should" do.

Lol, yeah, that's why sometimes it can be hard for my siblings and I to associate with traditional Sri Lankan Tamil culture. That's also why I'm quick to say that my family in general (meaning, my extended family included) is very anglicized. I think it started with the caste that most of my family background is from; they were of a high enough caste that there was a lot of British education that was revered and encouraged. I would say that the second factor into the anglicization has been the conversion to Christianity. I'm not sure when exactly that happened, though it was probably at least 4-5 generations back.

However, my family still has Sri Lankan Tamil influence in it. This includes some of the approaches to life that are stereotypically South Asian: only grades of As are sufficient; you have to go to university; etc. With uni, while my parents never pushed the typical, "you can only choose between doctor, lawyer or engineer", they did push on me a belief that, "you have a talent in computers, so don't waste it; you shouldn't want to do anything else". I think it's only as my parents got older that they started letting go of these beliefs. I suspect part of it is age, part of it is living here in the West and already having a strong anglicized background, and part of it is their religious beliefs. Despite them being conservative Evangelicals, their faith tradition was always fortunately one that touted genuine personal reflection and growth as individuals.

[vijayjohn]

I think it started with the caste that most of my family background is from; they were of a high enough caste that there was a lot of British education that was revered and encouraged. I would say that the second factor into the anglicization has been the conversion to Christianity. I'm not sure when exactly that happened, though it was probably at least 4-5 generations back.

However, my family still has Sri Lankan Tamil influence in it. This includes some of the approaches to life that are stereotypically South Asian: only grades of As are sufficient; you have to go to university; etc. With uni, while my parents never pushed the typical, "you can only choose between doctor, lawyer or engineer", they did push on me a belief that, "you have a talent in computers, so don't waste it; you shouldn't want to do anything else".

Most of this seems to be true of my family as well (except of course Indian influence instead SLT). My family also seems to be high-caste and is Christian and high-achieving. My mom did push medicine hard on me, but my dad instead pushed the belief that I should figure out what I'm good at and stick with it. I'm actually glad he did. I probably wouldn't have pursued my interest in languages otherwise. I do wish he would have quit trying to get me more interested in math instead just because he's a mathematician and makes more money off of that than anyone seems to able to with linguistics.

I think it's only as my parents got older that they started letting go of these beliefs.

My dad never stopped believing in my linguistic abilities and still seems to want me to get into computational linguistics, but they did mostly stop pushing medicine, math, etc. on me.