voron wrote:Why? What happened in Islamabad?
Kind of a long story...
-I had a terrible time at Quaid-e-Azm University signing up for an Urdu course. I spent four hours running between offices to try and sign up before they would actually give me any information on the course (at least 40 minutes of it was waiting for one secretary to find my file; it was difficult because they
had no filing cabinets and had everything strewn all over their desks in a seemingly random way). Then they put me in the wrong class (for people who had zero knowledge of Urdu, they were doing
alif be ) even though I had talked to the Head of Department
in Urdu, mentioning that I know how to read and write. Then the teacher of that class (seeing how absurd it was), took me to the class above it, but it was still pretty easy. Then the Head of Department came into class and got on my case (for HER mistake!) for being in the wrong class. And I'm like, yeah it's the wrong class, even this is too basic!
I also felt like I was back in high school (which I hated most of) because the classes were 5 hours a day, the teachers would get cross with students for not doing homework (which they would expect to be completed the next day, which was ridiculous given that the classes themselves already took out most of the day!). I'm glad I didn't keep going.
-My aunt wasn't particularly nice to me. Whenever I walked into a room, she would give me ugly looks or immediately walk out. To be fair to her, I'm pretty sure she's dealing with some sort of personality disorder and anxiety. But feeling unwelcome kind of wore down on me over the months. She would also mock me for spending too much time on the computer whenever any guests came over and I'm thinking: "I'm normally pretty outgoing, but where am I supposed to go here on my own?"
-I also felt kind of imprisoned because I can't drive and there wasn't really any public transport or much of interest that was in walking distance, besides a restaurant that I would occassionally escape to and have mediocre pizza. I kind of relied on my grandma's driver to get around, which it took me a while to get particularly comfortable about.
-The house also had terrible insulation and heating so I was freezing my arse off for most of winter, I remember even two metres away from the gas heater I could actually see my own breath.
-A couple of people got on my case for being a vegetarian, saying that because hazrat Ibrahim killed a goat Muslims can't be vegetarians (most people didn't care, to their credit). Other times people would ask me whether I'm Muslim, whether my dad is Muslim, whether my mum is Muslim, "but if your mum isn't Muslim you must be Muslim because your dad is Muslim right?", whether I do namaaz, whether my parents do namaaz, "why don't you do namaaz?", "I'll teach you namaaz!".
-I did an internship where I felt kind of like the odd one out at the office and was never really sure how long I was supposed to stay there, and there were points where I wasn't really even being given work, and others where I was suddenly given a lot of work that overwhelmed me. There were moments where my boss would randomly mention to everyone that I was learning Punjabi and then it would suddenly become a group conversation about how funny Punjabi is, and then people asking me if I know Punjabi swearwords and such -- I felt really singled out and wasn't really sure what to say a lot of the time. It was good to get out of the house but it was frustrating feeling so shy and asocial in an office full of people I didn't feel that comfortable talking to.
Despite all this, I'm glad I went there. I got pretty good at Urdu and made my
daadi ji happy. I also know a lot more about Islam and Pakistani politics -- I don't feel like a
coconut anymore.
I also started going to the gym (I can't imagine how many kilos I would've gained otherwise...), which I've kept doing since then.
Also a lot of these points are things I would've been fine (like all the religious stuff) with on their own but all of it together kind of took its toll on my general happiness and wellbeing.
That looks really interesting! One day I'll understand it, inşallah.