Sorry, probably not much help.
Actually that did help! All of the responses helped. I like that you use the goals as more of a motivator than a goal. When it comes to goals for short-term things, like a course or a project, I can think of the goals as, well, goals. When it comes to long-term stuff like continued language study, whether it be for one language or languages in general, it becomes easier for my perfectionism to kick in and screw everything up.
reineke wrote:"Have no fear of perfection — you'll never reach it."
“There is no such thing as a bad Picasso.”
I like those types of quotes in general, and will even espouse them for others, but it's always been difficult for me to hold onto those perspectives for myself. I will believe it for a while, and then revert back to the view I'm more used to.
I don't think it's helping either that the counselling I'm doing is around my abuse (which I've finally accepted happened) and the core beliefs I have about myself as well as tendencies I've developed as a result. I think the cycle of thinking goes something like this:
1) I can't be vulnerable because I will get hurt, or I will hurt someone else.
2) So I have to hide my core behind walls and shit.
3) If I'm able to control everything about myself - how I think, act, feel, what I say - then I can build and maintain that wall
4) So let me always be analyzing my behaviour, my thoughts, etc. to make sure they are in line with the expectations I've set up for myself
5) Fuck, I failed; I couldn't keep up with the perfectionist expectations, or there was a chink in the armour/wall
6) So now I'm hurt or I've hurt someone else because I'm not perfect
7) I have to try even harder because (see number 1)