SomehowGeekyPolyglot wrote:A culturally relevant but really rare pattern of behavior: Some Africans telling some non-African persons that if they would call them N . . . . . . one day, they wouldn't have the slightest issue with it
Because this pattern is very rare, I didn't even capitalize it.
SomehowGeekyPolyglot wrote:The question being asked in this post is:
What are the possible detailed reasons for any African making such an offer, keeping in mind that this word usually is connected to many, many unpleasant feelings?
Asking them isn't the only way of knowing why they would make such an offer in some rather rare cases. It can also be known by themselves already having told it using another way
. Or by making some deductions as long as they fully are valid.
SomehowGeekyPolyglot wrote:FYI: Outside of this very log, I don't ask any questions if I already know the answers. But as for this particular one, while I don't know some answers, I know others, like this one, for example.
So what is the answer you know?
When an African tells a Caucasian (using it in the broader sense now) that he really can call him N . . . . . . , of course not every single case would necessarily be the same. However, there are some behavioral general patterns related to this.
They are more inclined to making such an offer when they know that the other (Non-African) person has a genuine interest in Many Things Africa. In addition to that person being someone who also strongly dislikes a certain pre-1945 dictator. Also, if that particular person would already have been speaking to them in African English because of knowing that they appreciate it, this is another token (symbolical) gesture being made by the Non-African person that they really could like. This is because in this case (unlike speaking to them their way when they dislike it because of not knowing the motivation or thinking that it is mockery, etc.), one intentionally isn't using American English, but preferring African English instead, which is something African after all
So all of this can contribute to themselves considering a particular person as someone who is "not entirely non-African" or even "somehow African by heart, even if the color is different". And within that framework, there is the possibility of that offer being made, maybe, just maybe without even mentioning that "N . . . . . " topic. However, that didn't happen to me. Instead, I was the one who mentioned it in a very subtle way, but I only did so for the purpose of knowing his exact point of view on it, not because I expected or even really imagined the very possibility of that offer.
Side-note: Not having any issue with American English, using it all the time in this forum. (Sub-side-note for people who are very much into linguistics: I didn't claim that I use it the very same way a native would do. But I don't write in British English...).
One of the Africans who offered it to me told me (and they were a very few only), "You can call me like that, that's no stress. Because I know you, and I know that you wouldn't mean it in the way others do".
And as for another one, I simply was talking to him about Africans severely disliking being called like that. Then he immediately told me nothing more but, "You can call me N . . . . . .".
But still, even when a particular African really makes this offer, there still are several possible pitfalls. I personally do not recommend at all calling them like this even after the offer has been made, for some reasons mentioned in the original post:https://forum.unilang.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=56140&start=60#p1123735
Some additional, personal background:
For a long time, whenever I would start to speak English, I have been (and this still is the case even today) defaulting
to the African way unless I intentionally do some additional actions to use American English instead. This is about things like pronouncing the TH as in "thank you" as a T and some more.
"Defaulting" as in "using it per default, unless a different option is selected by myself".
I also am keeping in mind that using African English could sound offensive to Africans who aren't familiar with my reasons for doing so. As opposed to some who do know them, there have been "too many" examples in the past of them appreciating it, thus leading to a better mutual communication experience. But still, when I decide to switch to American English for the purpose of not causing a possible offense, this means selecting a different option rather than using the default setting.