Smrtova dcera

[kwalijkje]

Ked' som sa ucil po holandsky, som napisal pribehy pomoct' so slovnou zasobou. Myslel som, ze by som mal (word order?) to skusit' aj po slovensky.

Ak niekto chce to opravit'...

[kwalijkje]

1. Cast'

Kde nebolo tam nebolo, bola raz Smrtova dcera a ona bola znudena. Hrala sa v Smrtove zahrade, ale az sa nudila. Tak isla do kuchyne aby tam hrat'. Ale bola dcera Smrti, a chcela nieco viac zabave, nez hrat s nozmi a vidlami. Skor, nez bola v kuchyni bola znudena.

Ona vedela v com je problem. Bola samotna. Bolo samotne byt' dcera Smrti.

Cakala Smrt' odist'. Hned' ako odisiel, aj ona odisla. Isla na detsky park pre zive deti.

Male diet'a ju vidil a myslel, "Taka cudna diet'a." On spytal sa jej, "Ako sa volas?"

Ona uzmiala, a povedala, "Volam sa Smrtlina."

[qwerty]

Ked' som sa ucil po holandsky, napisal som pribehy, ktoré mi mali pomôcť so slovnou zasobou. Myslel som, ze by som to mal skusit' aj po slovensky.
Ak to niekto chce opravit'...

1. Cast'
Kde nebolo, tam nebolo, bola raz Smrtova dcera

Smrť je ženského rodu, takže "Smrtina dcéra". Nikdy som to však nevidela v tomto tvare, používa sa "dcéra Smrti".
Smrť is feminine, so "...". However, I have never seen it in this form - "..." is used instead.

a bola znudena. Hrala sa v Smrtovej zahrade, ale az sa nudila.

Správne by asi bolo "V Smrtinej záhrade". V rozprávkach sa ale Smrť zvykne označovať ako "Smrtka", takže "V Smrtkinej záhrade". Toto znie prirodzene.
What would probably be correct is "...". In fairytales, the Death is often referred to as "Smrtka", so "...". THIS sounds natural.

Tak isla do kuchyne aby tam hrat'.

"Tak išla do kuchyne, aby sa tam mohla hrať."/"Tak išla do kuchyne, aby sa tam hrala."/"Tak sa išla hrať do kuchyne."

Ale bola dcera Smrti, a chcela nieco viac zabavne zábavnejšie, nez hrat sa s nozmi a vidlami vidličkami.

vidly = hay-fork (?) ("the big fork they use at farms")
vidlička = fork - a piece of cutlery

Skor, nez keď bola v kuchyni, bola znudena.
Ona vedela v com je problem. Bola samotna. Bolo samotne(?) byt' dcera Smrti.

What did you want to say?

Cakala Smrt' odist' Čakala, kým Smrť odíde. Hned' ako odisla, aj ona odisla.

Isla na detsky park pre zive deti.

"do detského parku"/"na detské ihrisko".

Male diet'a ju videlo a myslelo si, "Take cudne diet'a." Ono spytalo sa jej, "Ako sa volas?"
Ona sa usmiala, a povedala, "Volam sa Smrtlina."

("dieťa" is neuter)

Aká depresívna (ale zaujímavá!) rozprávka... Som zvedavá na pokračovanie
What a depressive (but interesting!) story. I am curious as to what will be next

[kwalijkje]

Jej, tak vela opravy! Mal by som skusit' mensie casti.
(Whoa, so many corrections. I should try smaller chapters.)

Kde nebolo tam nebolo - Uz viem, ze to by malo byt' 'Kde bolo tam bolo', ale som chcel to byt' trapne.
(... - I knew what it should be, but I was aiming for something silly/absurd.)

Aj viem, ze slovo smrt' je zenskeho rodu. Ale som myslel, ze Smrt' ako charakter (Smrtka, ale muz), nie ako slovo. Nie je mozne?
(I also know that the word smrt' is feminine. But I was thinking of Death the character, not the word. This isn't possible?)

Mmm, stale som to zabudnol, ze hrat' bez predmetu potrebuje 'sa'. :S
(Hmm, I'm forever forgetting that hrat' without an object needs 'sa'. :S )

vidly = hay-fork (?) ("the big fork they use at farms")
vidlička = fork - a piece of cutlery

Heh, to je to, co sa deje ked' pouizis slovnik.
(Heh, this is what happens when you use the dictionary.)

Skor, nez keď bola v kuchyni, bola znudena.
Ona vedela v com je problem. Bola samotna. Bolo samotne(?) byt' dcera Smrti.

Myslim, ze som chcel povedat':
Before she was even in the kitchen she was bored.
She knew wherein lay the problem. She was lonely. It was lonely being Death's daughter.

"do detského parku"/"na detské ihrisko" - Excelentne! Naozaj som nevedel ako sa vola.

V'daka moc, qwerty!

[kwalijkje]

Also... nit-picking.

In fairytales, the Death is often referred

Just Death. The capitalisation of the name tells you it's the character Death, and there's only one of those (I know we use 'the' before other proper nouns, but there's no logic in which take the determinate or not). We use 'the' death to refer to specific event of death. I.e you're talking about someone you know who's died. "The death was quite sudden..."

Technically the Death is not wrong, it's just unusual, and not in common practice.

What a depressive (but interesting!) story.

Depressive is a noun. Depressing is the adjective. You can use depressive here, but it means that the story belongs to a depressed person. And I'm really a very happy individual.

[qwerty]

First of all, thank you for correcting my English

Hmm, teraz, keď si vysvetlil, ako si to všetko myslel, sa mi zdá, že to máš viac-menej správne Tak sa ospravedlňujem, že som to až príliš opravovala
1. Kde nebolo, tam nebolo - ak to bolo schválne, potom je to úplne v poriadku.
2. Smrť v mužskom rode - keď človek píše príbeh, je možné použiť takmer čokoľvek, prispôsobovať si slová atď., takže to nie je úplne nesprávne, ale znelo by to trochu čudne. Napríklad "Pán Smrť" (alebo "Pán Smrtka") by mohlo byť to, čo chceš.
3. (kuchyňa) - Pochopila som to ako "More like - when she was in kitchen, she was bored." Tak prepáč, mal si to dobre "(Ešte) Skôr než bola v kuchyni, bola znudená."/"Skôr ako bola v kuchyni, bola znudená."/"Bola znudená ešte skôr ako prišla do kuchyne."

Hmm, after you have explained what you meant, it seems to me it was almost completely OK. So I am sorry for making too many corrections.
1. ... - if it was on purpose, then it is absolutely correct.
2. ... - when writing a story, it is possible to use almost anything, modify words etc., so it is not completely wrong, but it would sound a bit weird. For example, "Pán Smrť" might be it.
3. ... - I thought you meant "...". So I am sorry, you were right again

[pittmirg]

In Slavic-speaking countries a personified Death is generally female (unlike in English/Germanic?-speaking countries). As qwerty said, theoretically you could do anything in a story, but the local folklore is pretty definitive about that.