Please rate my pronunciation (again, please...)

[Erkki79]

An expert of English will evaluate my spoken English next Wednesday. This is a part of a university course I'm taking and there will be a grade, but it will not be nothing final or absolute. In other words, I will survive. We are allowed to choose our own text, and I have chosen a text from Tacitus. The text can be found from the link below, but you might want to listen the audio before seeing the text. It's up to you!

Audio: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lgdDtAP9FO

The expert is one of the leading experts of spoken English in my country, so please be cruel! I have to get it right. I think that my pronunciation will be the main thing in the evalution, but I don't know, I'm not an expert.

Thank you in advance!

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fenni#Material_culture

[linguoboy]

In wonderful savageness live the nation of the Fenni(1), and in beastly poverty, destitute of arms(2), of horses, and of homes; their food, the common herbs(3); their apparel(4), skins; their bed(5), the earth; their only(6) hope in their arrows, which for want of iron(7) they point with bones.

1) The pronunciation of Fenni is very odd. It sounds almost like you're saying "Ferni" or inserting a glottal stop between /ɛ/ and /n/.
2) There needs to be a longer pause preceded by a definite terminal fall on of arms, because otherwise it sounds like "destitute of arms of horses".
3) You're going for UK English, right? Because otherwise the h is silent.
4) This word was unrecognisable. At first I thought you were saying "April".
5) The vowel should be [ɛ]. Yours is much to close here, virtually identical to [e].
6) I here own, not only. You appear to be swallowing the entire second syllable.
7) /ai/ is tricky; there is considerable dialectal variation in realisations. Whatever you're using here sounds way too high and back--more like /ɔi/. That's acceptable in some varieties (e.g. Irish English) but awkward and confusing elsewhere.

[Erkki79]

Thank you very much, Linguaboy! I'm definitely going to try to improve my spoken English on the points that you mentioned.

[linguoboy]

Their common(1) support they have from the chase, women as well as men; for with these(2) the former wander up and down, and crave a portion of the prey.

1) Again, I heard this word as own, presumably because you're pronouncing the stressed vowel as [oː] rather than what it should be, which is (RP) [ɒ].
2) The vowel is far too short, making the word sound like this rather than these.

Nor other(1) shelter have they even for their babes, against the violence(2) of tempests and ravening beasts, than to cover them(3) with the branches of(4) trees twisted together(5); this a reception for the old men, and hither(5) resort the young.

1) The stressed vowel should be /ʌ/; your vowel is too low and backed.
2) Hypercorrection of /v/ to /w/. (Watch this one! It's absolutely rife in Central/Eastern European speech.)
3) Sounds like him to me. Not sure if it's the vowel or the initial consonant which gives this impression.
4) The vowel is always central, even when stressed. I.e. stressed [ʌv], unstressed [ə(v)].
5) Almost sounds like you're saying /tʊˈɡɛthɚ/ and /ˈhɪthɚ/ rather than /tʊˈɡɛðɚ/ and/ˈhɪðɚ/. Maybe you're not voicing the medial?

[Mars80]

4) The vowel is always central, even when stressed. I.e. stressed [ʌv], unstressed [ə(v)].

The word "of" is pronounced with a short "o" as in "hot" in non-North American English when stressed.

[Erkki79]

It's done. I tried really hard to fix the issues in my spoken English, but I still couldn't avoid all of them. It's hard. Thank you, linguaboy.